s: To meet the Franks you need not go so far;


s: Carle seven years in Spain has tarried. Brave


s: Ready to die ere he will quit the field;


s: Carle's spirit yields before no living man."


s: "Let all that be!" cried to the messengers


s: The King Marsile--"Seigneurs, speak but to me,


s: You see me now crushed unto death. No son


s: Nor daughter have I left, nor other heir;


s: Some rights to Spain the Emir has; to him


s: I grant the realm in full, if he accept.


s: Let him defend this land against the French,


s: To meet Carlemagne good counsel I will give,


s: A month. Bear him the keys of Sarraguce;


s: Thence, if he trust my words, he ne'er will be


s: Expelled." They answer:--"Sire, you speak the truth."


s: "The Emperor Carle," said King Marsile, "has slain


s: My men, ravaged my land, shattered and stormed


s: My cities; now on Ebro's banks he camps,


s: The Emir march up all his force. Bear him


s: My order for the fight." With this he gives


s: Upon these words the messengers bent low


s: In last salute, took leave, and went their way.


s: With terror struck, both to the Emir come,


s: Said Baligant:--"What found ye there? Where is


s: The King Marsile whom I commanded forth?"


s: Clarien makes answer:--"He is hurt to death;


s: The Emp'ror yesterday marched through the pass


s: Upon his homeward way into sweet France.


s: For greater honor, in the rear, Rollánd,


s: All the twelve Peers and twenty thousand knights.


s: The King Marsile, the valiant Baron, fought


s: And fierce encounter had with Count Rollánd,


s: The king's right hand was severed from his arm.


s: With all the Barons he had brought with him;


s: And Carle, the Emperor, followed close behind.


s: Now give your help to King Marsile, who craves


s: Your aid, and as your guerdon all the realm


s: Deep sunk in thought, nigh maddened by his grief.


s: "Sire Emir," Clarien said, "on yesterday


s: And Olivier are dead, and the twelve Peers


s: To Carle so dear, with twenty thousand Franks


s: Have perished; King Marsile lost his right hand,


s: And fled in hottest speed pursued by Carle.


s: In all the land no Knight remains but slain


s: Upon its banks the French encamp--So nigh--


s: Had you the will, unsafe would be their flight."


s: Then Baligant looks at him full of pride;


s: And his heart swells with courage and fierce joy.


s: Sudden from his footstool he springs, and loud


s: He cries:--"Delay not--disembark! To horse!


s: And forward! Now, unless Carlemagne the old


s: By flight escape, the King Marsile shall be


s: Avenged. For his right hand Carle's head shall pay."


s: Out of their skiffs the Arab Pagans spring,


s: And mounting mules and horses, march; what else


s: But this for them to do? When forward moves


s: The host in serried lines, the Emir calls


s: On Genalfin, his chosen friend: "To thee


s: He said--and straight on his bay destrier mounts;


s: Four Dukes rode with him, and so fast he sped,


s: Four Counts his stirrup held, and by the steps


s: To him runs Bramimunde:--"What cruel dole


s: Is mine, oh, woe! How shamefully," she cried,


s: "Have I now lost my lord!"--And at his feet


s: Prostrate she fell. The Emir raised her up,


s: And, grieving, both into the chamber went.


s: His body to be raised that he might sit.


s: With his left hand he took a glove, and thus


s: He spoke:--"Sir King and Emir, all my lands


s: And kingdoms, Sarraguce, domains and fiefs


s: But wreck and ruin--Subjects, wealth--all lost."


s: Answered the Emir:--"I, so much the more,


s: Grieve for thy sorrow; but for longer speech


s: I can not stay; for Carle, I know, will not


s: Be still. But, nathless, I receive the glove."


s: O'erwhelmed with sorrow, weeping he departs;


s: The palace steps descending, mounts his horse


s: And spurs him towards the waiting hosts so fast,


s: That of the foremost ranks he takes the lead;


s: "Haste, Pagans! On!--Already flee the Franks."


s: At earliest morn, just as the dawn appeared,


s: From sleep awakes the Emp'ror Carlemagne;


s: Saint-Gabriel, his guardian, sent by God,


s: With hands uplifted signed him with the cross.


s: And all the host disarm.--The mounted knights


s: Then ran at speed back o'er the trampled ways,


s: The weary roads, to view the woeful loss


s: Once more, on Ronceval's bloody battle-field.


s: Where lay so many slain, Carle wept, and said


s: Unto the French:--"Seigneurs, move slowly here;


s: Erst when at Aix on Christmas' solemn feast,


s: Their exploits vaunting, I could hear Rollánd


s: Say, should he ever die on foreign soil,


s: Before his peers and men he should be found


s: Facing the foe, true Baron, conqu'ror still."


s: A few steps further than a staff's throw, Carle


s: When sought the Emperor his nephew there,


s: Amid the field, and found so many plants


s: With blossoms crimsoned by our Barons' blood,


s: By pity moved he can not choose but weep.


s: Mounting the hill, beneath two trees, he knew


s: The blow upon the three rocks Rollánd struck,


s: A mangled corse--No wonder Carle is wroth;


s: Alights in haste and lifting in his arms


s: The Count, broken by grief upon him faints.


s: From his deep swoon the Emperor revives.


s: Duke Naimes, Count Acelin, Geffrei d'Anjou


s: His brother Tierri raise the King, and place


s: Him resting 'gainst a pine. There on the earth


s: He sees his nephew lying dead, and mourns


s: O'er him with gentle words and tender looks,


s: "Sweet friend, Rollánd, God's mercy unto thee!


s: Such peerless knight none ever yet has seen,


s: Mine honor turns to its decline!--" Once more


s: Carle's will and strength succumb.... He faints away.


s: Again King Carle recovers from his swoon....


s: Four of his Barons, with their hands support


s: His form. His downcast looks see stretched on earth


s: His nephew's corpse. Discolored was the brow,


s: Yet proud the look; the dimmed and sightless eyes


s: Turned up.... In faith and love King Carle laments.


s: "Sweet friend Rollánd, may God enshrine thy soul


s: Camest thou to Spain.... No future day shall dawn


s: For me, on which I mourn thee not.... Now fall'n


s: My strength and power! Who now will e'er support


s: My royal fiefs? Thou wast for me 'neath Heav'n


s: The one true friend! though other kindred mine,


s: Was none so brave and wise."--He tore his hair


s: In handfuls from his brow. So great the grief


s: Of those one hundred thousand Franks, that none


s: There was, of all, who wept not bitter tears.


s: "Beloved Rollánd, to France I now return.


s: Where lives Rollánd the Captain, I shall say


s: 'He lieth dead in Spain;' and I henceforth


s: Shall hold my realm in bitter pain. No day


s: Shall dawn for me unmarked by tears and moans."


s: "Sweet friend Rollánd, brave Knight and beauteous youth,


s: And men shall come to hear me speak of thee,


s: What strange and cruel news I then shall have


s: To greet them with! 'My nephew who for me


s: Such conquests made ... is dead.' And Saxons now


s: Will rise against my power, and Hungres, and Bugres


s: With other foes--the men of Rome, of Pouille,


s: And all those of Palerne; and those who hold


s: My pain will grow--Who then shall lead my host


s: With such an arm of might, since he is dead,


s: Who was our chief and head so long. Alas!


s: Sweet France, bereft art thou! So great my grief


s: I would not live!"--he plucks out his white beard


s: And tears his hair with both hands from his head.


s: Swoon on the earth one hundred thousand Franks--


s: "Sweet friend," he cried, "Rollánd, thou art no more:


s: Oh! may thy soul have place in Paradise!


s: Who gave thee death brought grievous shame to France.


s: Such is my grief, I would not longer live.


s: My kinsmen died for me! I pray Our Lord,


s: Cizra's defiles, from mortal life to take


s: My soul away, and let it rest with theirs.


s: And, weeping sore, he tears his hoary beard....


s: Then said Duke Naimes:--"What cruel pain is Carle's!"


s: "Sire Emperor," spoke forth Geffrei d'Anjou,


s: "Yield not so much to sorrow--Orders give


s: To seek our men throughout the battle-field,


s: In combat killed by those of Spain, and lay


s: Them in one grave"--Carle said: "Then sound your horn."


s: Geffrei d'Anjou obeyed and blew his horn;


s: The French dismount, such was the king's command,


s: And all their friends found slain upon the field


s: A crowd of bishops, abbots, canons, monks


s: And tonsured priests there gathered, in the name


s: Of God assoil and bless; incense and myrrh


s: The dead who, buried there with honors great,


s: Are left alone--what more was there to do?


s: The Emp'ror Carle gives order that a watch


s: And the Archbishop Turpin; bade their breasts


s: Be oped before him, and their hearts enwrapped


s: In silken cloths--in tombs of marble white


s: Perfumed with wine and fragrant herbs; the three


s: Seigneurs in wrappings of stag's hide were cased;


s: Them on their way, upon three chariots borne,


s: And covered well with palls of glazèd silk.


s: King Carle about to start, sees suddenly


s: Advance:--"Proud king, from here thou must not go;


s: Behold, the Emir to thine encounter comes


s: This day will prove if truly valiant knight


s: Thou art." Carl'magne, the king, plucks his gray beard;


s: His grief and wrong, proudly he casts a look


s: Upon his knightly host, and with loud voice


s: Exclaims:--"Seigneurs Barons! To horse! To arms!"


s: Quick donned his hauberk,--laced his helm--Joyeuse,


s: Whose brightness vies with the sun's dazzling rays,


s: Upon his neck,--his lance, forged in Blandune


s: He wields, and mounts his good steed Tencendur


s: Which nigh the ford below Marsune he won,


s: When he struck dead Malpalin de Nerbune.


s: Quick to a gallop spurred, rein loosed, the steed


s: Sped on, before one hundred thousand men.


s: Carle calls on Rome's Apostle and on God.


s: Spread o'er the field the men of France dismount.


s: More than one hundred thousand arm themselves


s: Together--Brilliant their array! Their steeds


s: Are fleet, arms gleaming; bright the pennons float


s: Above their helms: The foe once found, they give


s: Them certain battle. Mounted thus, how brave


s: Their show! When Carle beholds their faces bright,


s: "In knights so good behooves men to have faith,


s: Should not the Arabs their approach repent,


s: Rollánd's death I to them will dearly sell."


s: Responds Duke Naimes:--"May God vouchsafe your prayer."


s: Carl calls Rabel and Guineman:--"Seigneurs,


s: I will that ye should take the place of Counts


s: Rollánd and Olivier--One bear the sword;


s: Of fifteen thousand bachelors of France,


s: Duke Naimes and Joseran the Count with speed


s: And care these hosts in full array dispose.


s: Let them encounter, great will be the fight.


s: These first two cohorts were from out the French


s: Composed; and after those a third was formed:


s: The vassals of Baviere--Their numbers mount


s: To thirty thousand knights who ne'er would blench


s: Before the foe. Beneath the sky live not


s: Save those of France, the conquerors of realms.


s: The Count Ogier de Danemarche, the brave,


s: Will lead--What beauty sits upon their brows!


s: Now has the Emp'ror Carle three squadrons; Naimes


s: The Duke, then forms the fourth with truly brave


s: Barons from Allemagne, who left La Marche.


s: These, twenty thousand count, so all report;


s: Well furnished with good steeds and arms; for dread


s: Of death in battle they will never yield.


s: Herman the Duke of Thrace, their chief, will die


s: Duke Naimes and Joseran the Count, have formed


s: The fifth of Normans, twenty thousand men,


s: Say all the Franks. Their arms are bright, and fleet


s: Their steeds. These welcome death ere they succumb.


s: None under Heav'n more valiant in the fight.


s: Richard the old will lead them on the field,--


s: And with his trenchant lance will bravely strike.


s: Composed of Bretons the sixth squadron was:


s: Full forty thousand chevaliers are they;


s: Barons in mien when mounted thus, each lance


s: In rest, its pennon rolled. Their lord is named


s: "My people guide," said Carle; "in ye my trust."


s: King Carle has now six squadrons on the field.


s: Barons d'Alverne and Peitevins Duke Naimes


s: Has mustered in the seventh. They may count


s: Full forty thousand knights. How good their steeds,


s: How finely wrought their arms! They stand aloof


s: Within a shady vale. With his right hand


s: And Godselmes their appointed leaders are.


s: Barons of Frise and Flamengs Naimes enrolled


s: For the eighth legion. Knights in number more


s: Than fifty thousand, men who never yield


s: In battle. Thus the king: "My service these


s: Shall lead them forward in all chivalry."


s: The ninth battalion,--brave among the brave.


s: Those warriors from Lorraine and Burgundy:


s: In number fifty thousand knights; close helmed,


s: In hauberk mailed--a stout short-handled lance


s: Each wields. Should Arabs not from combat shrink,


s: Lorrains and Bourguignons will deal hard blows;


s: Tierri Duke of Argonne will be their chief.


s: Barons of France make up the tenth. They are


s: One hundred thousand captains 'mong the best;


s: Hardy and stout, of features proud, hair flecked


s: With gray, and beard all white; in hauberk clad


s: And linèd coat of mails, girt with their swords


s: Of Spain and France; for shelter, brilliant shields


s: With various blazons decked, among them known.


s: They mount their steeds and clamor for the fight:


s: "Montjoie!" they cry.--Comes now Carlemagne the king!


s: Called Roman once, but since the day Saint Pierre


s: Made it a standard, it is named Montjoie.


s: The Emperor Carle dismounts, prostrates himself


s: With eyes uplifted toward the rising sun:


s: Thy hand it was saved Jonas from the whale


s: And Daniel didst thou save from cruel pain


s: When thrown among the lions. By thy might


s: Stood the three children safe in burning flames,


s: Merciful God! List to my prayer; vouchsafe


s: Thus having prayed, he stands erect and marks


s: His forehead with the sign of might: Then mounts


s: A fleet-hoofed courser. Naimes and Joseran


s: Carle's stirrup hold--With buckler on his arm


s: And trenchant lance in rest; strength, beauty, grace


s: Then firmly seated on his horse he rides....


s: Clarions in rear and front reëcho 'round....


s: Meantime the French weep ... mourning for Rollánd.


s: Most nobly on the Emp'ror Carle proceeds.


s: His long beard flowing o'er his coat of mail,


s: And so, for love of him, the knights, whereby,


s: Are surely known the hundred thousand Franks;


s: They march through mountains and o'ertopping peaks,


s: Deep vales, defiles of frightful look. At last


s: Leaving the narrow pass and wasted land,


s: They reach the Spanish bourne and make a halt


s: Return his vanguard scouts; a Syrian spy


s: Heralds the news,--"We saw the proud King Carle.


s: His warriors fierce will never fail their King.


s: To arms--Within a moment look for fight!"


s: Baligant cried:--"Good news for our brave hearts!


s: Sound all your trumps and let my Pagans know!"


s: Throughout the camp the drums sonorous beat,


s: With bellowing horns and blasts of trumpet clear.


s: The Pagans arm themselves, and least of all


s: The Emir would th' advance delay--He wears


s: A hauberk saffron--'broidered round the sides,


s: And clasps his helm with gold and gems inlaid.


s: On his left side a sword whereto, in pride,


s: He gave a name, as Carle had named his sword,


s: And called the blade his Precieuse. This name


s: Shall be the battle-cry his warriors shout----


s: Hangs from his neck a large and spreading shield


s: Whose golden boss shines with a crystal ring;


s: The lance he bears is named Mallet, the shaft


s: Of which so huge, more than a beam it looks,


s: And steel so strong, beneath its weight a mule


s: Would groan. Upon his steed mounts Baligant;


s: Mighty the Emir's stride across the selle;


s: Thin-loined, wide-flanked, deep-chested, all his form


s: Well molded; broad his shoulders; clear his eye,


s: His visage haughty, curls around his brow.


s: God! what a Baron, had he Christian faith!


s: He spurs his horse until the crimson blood


s: Reddens its flanks, and lightly bounds across


s: A mighty chasm full fifty feet in width.


s: The Pagans cry:--"He can defend his marche.


s: With him none 'mong the French can cross a lance;


s: Will they or not, their lives are forfeit now.


s: Yea Carle was mad who did not shun the field."


s: A beard as white as summer flower, and gained


s: In battle fierce and proud. His son Malprime


s: Of knightly soul, and from his noble race


s: Holding a valiant heart and strength of arm,


s: Addressed his father:--"Sire, to horse! to horse!


s: Against them! I much wonder whether Carle


s: We e'er shall meet."--"Yea," answered Baligant,


s: "Carle is a valorous knight; his glorious deeds


s: Are writt'n, but now his nephew is no more;


s: Against our strength no other man's can stand."


s: "Fair son, Malprime," said th' Emir Baligant,


s: "Yesterday fell in death the noble knight


s: Rollánd, and Olivier the wise and brave,


s: And the twelve Peers by Carle so dearly loved,


s: With twenty thousand combatants of France;


s: Not at a glove's worth hold I all the rest.


s: The emperor's approach; ten armies Carle


s: Has called in close array; the knight who bears


s: The olifant, with clear resounding blast


s: Leads his companions, riding in the front;


s: Of France, all bachelors, whom Carle is wont


s: To call his children. These as many follow


s: Who for the fiercest combat seem prepared."


s: Thus said Malprime: "The first stroke I demand!"


s: "Fair son," said Baligant, "to you I grant


s: Your full request. Against the French at once


s: The Persian King, and Dapamort who rules


s: Leutis. If you subdue the vaunting Carle,


s: In fief from the Orient to Val-Marchis."


s: Responds Malprime: "To you, O sire, all thanks!"


s: And stepping forward, he receives the boon.


s: This land had once been swayed by King Fleuri,


s: But by Malprime was neither ruled nor seen.


s: The Emir Baligant rides through the ranks


s: Stand thirty legions ranked. Countless the knights,


s: And fifteen thousand strong the weakest band


s: Can number. First are those of Butentrot,


s: O'ertop the spine enrooted in their backs,


s: Their shaggy bodies bristling with coarse hair


s: Like boars; the third, of Nubles and of Blos;


s: The legion fourth of Bruns and Esclavos;


s: The fifth of Sorbres and Sorz; from the Ermines


s: And Mors is formed the sixth; from Jericho


s: The seventh, and the eighth from those of Nigre.


s: Of Gros the ninth, and from Balide-la-Fort,


s: The legion tenth, men never good for aught.


s: With strongest oaths the Emir swears aloud


s: By all Mohammed's might and body, "Carle


s: Of France rides like a madman to his doom,


s: For combat we shall have; recoils he not,


s: His brow shall never more wear golden crown."


s: Ten other legions are arrayed: the first


s: Athwart, from Valfuit; Turks the next; the third


s: Persians; the fourth, Persians and Pinceneis;


s: The fifth from Soltras come and from Avers;


s: The seventh scions are of Samuel's race;


s: The eighth from Braise; Esclavers form the ninth;


s: As for the tenth, a horde perverse that came


s: Not loving God the Lord; ne'er shall you hear


s: Of viler breed: their heathen skin as hard


s: As iron, whence it is they need no helms


s: Nor hauberks mailed--in battle treach'rous fiends.


s: To form the first the giants of Malpruse


s: Were summoned; to the second came the Huns;


s: The Hungres made the third; Baldise-la-Lungue


s: The fourth, and Val-Penuse the fifth; the sixth


s: Maruse; the seventh Leuz and Astrimonies;


s: The eighth Argoilles; Clarbone the ninth; the tenth


s: A tribe that never would love God. The songs


s: Of Geste of France thus thirty legions count:


s: A mighty host where many a trumpet blasts.


s: Forward, like valiant knights, the Pagans ride.


s: The Emir, rich and mighty lord, commands


s: This sermon with loud voice: "Who by our Gods


s: Craves to be saved, with the most contrite heart


s: Must pray!" And then the Pagans low incline


s: Their heads and chins, with brilliant helms bent down


s: To earth.--"Now, gluttons, comes your hour to die!"


s: Cry out the French; "Confusion be your lot.


s: This day, O God of ours, defend King Carle,


s: Turn Thou the scale of battle to his side!"


s: The Emir, great in wisdom, called his son


s: And the two kings:--"Seigneurs Barons, in front


s: Ride ye, and all my legions you shall lead;


s: But of the best: The first shall be the Turks,


s: And third shall be the Giants of Malpruse,


s: While those of Occiant shall near me stand


s: To set them on King Carle and on his French.


s: Should then the Emperor dare measure arms


s: With me, struck from its trunk his head shall fall--


s: No right has he to other fate than this."


s: Both armies are immense; their squadrons bright.


s: Between the combatants nor height, nor hill,


s: Nor vale, nor wood that shelter could afford;


s: Foe looks on foe across the open field.--


s: Ride forward to the fight!" The battle flag


s: And all shout "Precieuse!" The French exclaim:


s: Rises their cry "Montjoie!" The Emperor Carle


s: His trumpets bid resound, and the olifant


s: Whose blast 'whelms all. The Pagans say: "Carle's host


s: Is fair! Fierce battle shall we have and dire."


s: Vast is the plain and broad the field. Behold


s: Those dazzling helms inlaid with gold and gems,


s: Those shields, those coats of mail with saffron edged,


s: Those spears and pennons rolled; hearken ye the voice


s: Of trumpets blowing clear and strong, and hark


s: The olifant's shrill blast, which sounds the charge.


s: The King of Floredée, who rules the land


s: As far as Val-Sevrée, and points to Carle's


s: Ten must'ring legions: "See the pride of France


s: The praised; amid his bearded knights how proud


s: The Emperor rides! O'er their hauberks stream


s: Their beards as white as snow upon the frost.


s: Forsooth! These valiant warriors will strike hard


s: With lance and sword, and such a fight be ours


s: As never man has fought." Then Baligant,


s: Can hurl a staff, gave reasons and their proof:


s: "Come forward, Pagans; follow where I go!"


s: Brandishing high the shaft of his own lance,


s: At Carle he levels fair its trenchant steel.


s: When Carle the Emir sees, and with him borne


s: The dragon-standard, all the land o'erswarmed


s: Held by his host, he cries with loudest voice:


s: "Barons of France, in valor great, we know,


s: The Pagans! Traitors vile and cowards all;


s: Yea, all their law I count no denier worth.


s: What care ye, lords, how vast their numbers are?


s: Let those who wish to combat follow me!"


s: With pointed spurs he pricks his courser's flanks


s: And Tecendur four times leaped in the air.


s: Cry out the French:--"A valiant King is this!


s: Ride forward, Sire, not one will fail you here."


s: Clear was the day and bright the sun. Both hosts


s: Resplendent, their battalions numberless;


s: In fight. Both Counts Rabel and Guineman


s: On their fleet coursers' necks have loosed the rein!


s: Sharply they spur, and all the Franks dash on


s: To deal with trenchant lance their valiant blows.


s: A daring Knight is Count Rabel. With spurs


s: Of purest gold he pricks his courser's flanks,


s: Rushing to smite Torleu the Persian King.


s: No shield, no hauberk can such blow withstand.


s: The golden spear went through the Pagan's heart


s: And mid the brambles of the road has struck


s: Him dead. The French cry out: "Aid us, O God!


s: With Carle the right; ne'er shall we fail our King!"


s: Guineman 'gainst the King of Leutice tilts;


s: The Pagan's shield with painted flowers bedecked


s: Through his heart's core the pennon of the Knight


s: Is driven, bearing death,--or laugh or weep


s: Who may. At such a blow the French exclaim:


s: "Barons, strike ever! Strike and be not slack


s: Against the Pagan hordes; to Carle belongs


s: The right. With us the justice true of God!"


s: Leads 'gainst the serried legions of the Franks


s: Corse over corse he heaps. Cries Baligant


s: In front: "Ye whom my kindness nurtured long,


s: Barons of mine, see how my son seeks Carle


s: And with so many knights he measured arms;


s: Give him the succor of your trenchant spears."


s: On rush the Pagans at these words, and deal


s: Their mortal blows around. Rude is the fight!


s: The battle marvelous and stern. None such


s: Was ever seen before or since that hour.


s: The hosts are numberless, the warriors fierce--


s: The encount'ring legions fighting hand to hand


s: Noblest exploits achieved. How many a lance


s: In pieces split, how many hauberks wrenched!


s: Splinters of shivered armor you might see


s: Strew all the field, and verdant tender grass


s: Vermillioned o'er by streams of human gore!


s: "Barons strike down these Christian people!"--Hard


s: And long the fight embittered by revenge


s: And rage. Ne'er seen before nor will be seen


s: Again such combat.--To the death they fight.


s: The Emir to his men:--"Strike, Pagans, ye


s: For this alone have come. Dames sweet and fair


s: Shall be your guerdon; honors, and domains


s: "To serve you all we ought."--So hard they fight


s: That in the hot affray they lose their spears:


s: Anon a thousand flashing swords and more,


s: Are drawn, a bloody slaughter to achieve.


s: He who stood on that field, true battle saw.


s: The King exhorts his French: "Beloved Seigneurs


s: And trusty Knights, ye many battles fought


s: For me, won many a realm, defeated Kings!


s: Full well I know, rich guerdons have ye earned;


s: My wealth, lands, blood I owe you. Now to-day


s: Your sons, your brothers and your kin avenge


s: Well know ye mine the right, with them the wrong."


s: The French reply:--"Yea, sire, you speak the truth."


s: The twenty thousand knights who march with Carle


s: Pledge with one soul their fealty. Dire distress,


s: E'en death, shall cause not one of these to fail


s: But with the sword in hand wage doughty strife.


s: Wondrous the raging battle. Stern the fight.


s: The brave Malprime has pressed his steed across


s: The field, and carried death among the French.


s: Duke Naimes glanced proudly toward him, and as knight


s: He strikes ... tears off his buckler's leathern top,


s: The hauberk cuts in twain, drives through the heart


s: The yellow pennon of the spear, and strikes


s: Him dead mid seven hundred other knights.


s: King Canabeus, the Emir's brother, spurs


s: His courser on; his crystal-hilted sword


s: Unsheathes, and deals Naimes' princely helm a blow


s: Which splits the crest in twain; the trenchant blade


s: Severs the five strong bands which to his head


s: Fast bound it; now not worth a denier was


s: The steel-mailed hood; down to the flesh the casque


s: Sheer cleft--a fragment falls upon the earth.


s: The blow was great; the Duke, astounded, reeled,


s: And would have fallen but for God's help. He clasps


s: His courser's neck, and should the Pagan deal


s: Another stroke, the noble Duke has breathed


s: His last; but to his help comes Carle of France.


s: In the Duke Naimes' brave heart what agony!


s: Once more the Pagan raised his arm to strike,


s: But now King Carle cries:--"Coward, wretch! This blow


s: Brings thee ill luck!"--And valiantly the King


s: Rushed on, crushed 'gainst his heart the buckler, rent


s: The hauberk's top; dead-struck the heathen King


s: Falls on the ground ... empty the saddle rests.


s: Deep grief the Emperor felt when there he saw


s: Duke Naimes sore-wounded and the verdant grass


s: Streamed o'er by his clear blood, and thereupon


s: This counsel spoke:--"Fair Naimes, ride close by me;


s: The wretch who brought you to this cruel fight


s: Has breathed his last, his body by my lance


s: Transfixed."--The Duke:--"In you my trust, O sire!


s: If e'er I live, with knightly service shall


s: My arm requite this deed!"--Then side by side


s: In faith and love, with twenty thousand knights


s: They march. And none of these or flinch or yield.


s: The Emir rides across the field, in haste


s: Athwart his heart he breaks the buckler white


s: And tears the hauberk's sides apart, disjoints


s: Two ribs and hurls him from his courser, dead;


s: Then takes the life of Gebain and Lorant,


s: The Pagans cry: "_Precieuse_ deserves its name!


s: Barons! strike on, Precieuse will save us all!"


s: Spears intermix, death to repel or give.


s: Nathless the French recoil not from the strife.


s: On either side they fall heaped high. Till eve


s: The storm of battle raged. Meanwhile the knights


s: Of France upon that day bore rueful loss;


s: Nor stayed the carnage till the day was done.


s: Break from their brazen heads. Whoso then saw


s: Those shields defaced, who heard those hauberks white


s: Resound with blows, this dinning clash of shields


s: 'Gainst helmets grinding, saw those knights and men


s: Fall and with dying shrieks roll on the earth,


s: Of greatest anguish could the memory keep;


s: So fierce this battle raged. The Emir calls


s: Mahum: "Till now I served you well, O Gods!


s: Molten of purest gold [if ye but help]!"


s: Appears. He brings ill news. "Sire Baligant


s: This day brings you mishap; Malprime, your son


s: Has fall'n! Your brother Canabeus is dead.


s: Two Franks the glory have of their defeat,


s: His fame, his air as _Marchis_ grand, his beard


s: As white as April blossom!" At these words


s: The Emir's helm declines, his visage sinks


s: Low on his breast. Such is his grief, he thinks


s: Death nears him. Calling Jangleu d'ultremer,


s: The Emir said:--"Jangleu, step forth; most wise


s: Art thou, thy knowledge great; thy counsel e'er


s: For Franks or Arabs deemest thou?" Jangleu


s: Responds:--"Death, Baligant, hangs o'er your head.


s: Ne'ermore your gods can save you; Carle is proud,


s: And valiant are his men. Ne'er lived a race


s: So strong in battle; yet call up your knights


s: And Giants. Do your duty with all speed."


s: The Emir spreads out to the breeze his beard


s: As hawthorn blossom white; betide what may,


s: Escape he will not seek, puts to his lips


s: A trumpet clear, whose blast the Pagans hark,


s: And fast their cohorts rally on the field.


s: They bray and neigh, the men of Occiant,


s: While those of Arguile yelp as curs, and charge


s: The Franks so rashly, they mow down and break


s: Throw seven thousand dead upon the field.


s: When the French legions broken thus he saw,


s: He called Tierri Duke of Argonne, Geffrei


s: D'Anjou and Jozeran the Count, and spoke


s: These haughty words to Carle:--"Behold our men


s: By Pagans slaughtered! May God ne'er permit


s: Your brow to wear its crown if unrevenged


s: Your shame remains!" None dared reply a word,


s: But spurring hard their steeds, with loosened reins


s: They rush in fury 'gainst the Pagan ranks


s: And strike the foes where'er they can be met.


s: Hard strikes Carlemagne the king, hard strikes Duke Naimes,


s: Who bears the royal pennon. But o'er all


s: Ogier de Dannemark puts forth his might;


s: He pricks his courser, drops the rein and falls


s: So fiercely, that both Dragon and the King's


s: Own flag is crushed before him on the spot.


s: And Mahum's flag defenseless, in his heart


s: Springs quick the thought, wrong may be on his side


s: And right on Carle's. The Pagans [waver now].


s: The Emperor Carle around him calls his (Franks):


s: "Barons, in God's name, do you stand by me?"


s: Respond the French:--"To ask is an offense.


s: Accurst be he who deals not glorious strokes!"


s: The day wears on and vesper draweth nigh.


s: Christians and Pagans, sword in hand, engage;


s: And valiant are their chiefs, nor mindless they


s: Of battle cries:--"Precieuse!" the Emir shouts,


s: And Carle:--"Montjoie!" the glorious sign. Each knows


s: And 'mid the field encountering, gives and takes


s: Fierce blows. Each massy shield receives the shock,


s: And each beneath the boss is cloven in twain


s: By the strong lance; each hauberk's sides are rent,


s: But the keen steel in neither reached the flesh;


s: The horse-girths burst and let the saddles fall.


s: Dropped to the earth both kings, both to their feet


s: Quick springing, dauntlessly unsheathed their swords.


s: And now the mortal combat will not cease


s: Till Carle or Baligant has fallen in death.


s: Carle of sweet France is brave, but the Emir feels


s: Before him neither fear nor dread. Both wield


s: Their naked swords and mighty thrusts exchange.


s: The shields, of wood and leather multifold,


s: Are rent, the nails torn out, the bosses split;


s: Each at the other's hauberk aims his blows.


s: Both combat breast to breast; the showering sparks


s: Wrap both their helms in fire: no end can be


s: Till one or other, vanquished, owns his wrong.


s: The Emir said: "King Carle, bethink thee yet;


s: Take better counsel with thy heart, and show


s: Remorse. Full well I know, by thee my son


s: Was slain, thou broughtest ruin through my land.


s: This land [to thee], and to the East, but serve


s: Me well." And Carle: "Great shame were that to me!


s: To Heathens I can give no peace nor love....


s: Receive the law our God revealed; accept


s: The faith of Christ.... For e'er my love is thine,


s: If thou believe in God, the Almighty King."


s: Said Baligant: "Ill words are these of thine:


s: Smites Carle upon the helm of burnished steel,


s: Which splits in twain beneath the ponderous blow,


s: Cuts through the silky hair, shears from the scalp


s: Fully the breadth of a man's palm and more,


s: Baring the skull. Carle staggers, nearly falls,


s: But God willed not that he should die or yield.


s: Saint Gabriel, with eager flight once more


s: Descends, demanding:--"What ails thee, great King?"


s: When Carle the Angel's heavenly accent hears,


s: All thought or dread of death forsakes his soul,


s: And in him springs again his former strength.


s: Is struck, his helm all bright with gems is rent,


s: His cloven skull pours out the brain, his face


s: Is cleft to the very roots of his white beard:


s: Then shouts the King his rallying cry, "Montjoie!"


s: Hearing his shout, Duke Naimes hastes up, and brings


s: The charger Tecendur for Carle the great


s: To mount. The Pagans turn their backs--God wills


s: They should not stay. The Franks have their desires.


s: The Pagans fly--such is the will of God;


s: Carle leads the French in the pursuit. Thus spake


s: The King:--"Seigneurs, the time is come to give


s: Vent to just hatred, and your anguished hearts


s: Streaming with tears." They cry:--"Our vengeance now!"


s: They deal their mighty blows. But few escape.


s: Amidst the sultry heat and clouds of dust


s: The Pagans rousèd, by their foes harassed,


s: Flee far for Sarraguce. To her high tower


s: Ascends Queen Bramimunde, where, seeing thus


s: The routed Arabs fly, she calls her priests


s: And canons, subjects to false law, by God


s: Ne'er loved: their crowns no holy tonsure wear.


s: She cries aloud:--"Aid us, Mahum! Oh aid!


s: Our men, the Emir slain in shameful death!"


s: On hearing this, Marsile turned to the wall


s: His life departed. Soon the eager fiends


s: Bore off to judgment his sin-burthened soul.


s: The Pagans all are slain [or put to flight];


s: Carle wins the day. The gates of Sarraguce


s: Are stormed, and well he knows, defense is vain.


s: He takes the city. All the Christian host


s: Pour in, and there repose their limbs this night.


s: The King with snow-white beard is filled with pride:


s: Ten of these forts are large, and fifty small.


s: Well helped are they whom God Almighty aids.


s: The sunny day had passed, the shades of night


s: Had fallen; bright the moonlight; all the stars


s: In heaven shone. Carle ruled in Sarraguce.


s: To search throughout the city's synagogues


s: And mosques for all their idols and graved signs


s: Of gods--these to be broken up and crushed


s: Nor sorcery nor falsehood left. King Carle


s: Believes in God and serves him faithfully.


s: Then bishops bless the fountains, leading up


s: The Heathens to the blest baptismal Font.


s: If one perchance resist the King, condemned


s: Is he to die, or hanged, or burnt, or slain.


s: More than one hundred thousand are baptized


s: A captive shall she go unto sweet France


s: And be converted by the King through love.


s: Night passes; dawn appears. Carle fortifies


s: The towers of Sarraguce. One thousand Knights


s: Of valor proved are left to guard the town


s: In the Emperor's name. With escort strong he rides,


s: Commands that naught but kindness she receive.


s: In proud and joyous triumph they return;


s: Through Nerbune passes the victorious host,


s: Sevrin, Carle lays the olifant filled full


s: Of marks and gold, where pilgrims view it still.


s: Passing upon broad skiffs across Girunde,


s: To Blaive, he bears the bodies of Rollánd


s: With the Archbishop good and brave. Beneath


s: White monuments he hath the lords entombed


s: At Saint-Romain. Here those three Barons lie....


s: The French to God and to his saints, once more


s: Commend them. Carle anew through mounts and vales


s: Proceeds, nor will he stop until in Aix.


s: Fast rides he till he nears the marble steps


s: Of his great palace; and as soon as reached


s: Bretons, of France the wisest men; for now


s: From Spain at last the Emperor has returned


s: To Aix, the noblest seat of France; ascends


s: His palace, enters in the stately hall.--


s: Now comes to greet him the fair [lady] Aude,


s: And asks the King:--"Where is Rollánd the chief


s: Who pledged his faith to take me for his wife?"


s: Sore-pained, heart-broken, Carle, with weeping eyes,


s: Tears his white beard.--"Ah! sister well beloved,


s: A worthier match I give thee in exchange;


s: He is my son, and will protect my realms."


s: Aude answers:--"To my ear these words are strange.


s: May God, His saints, His angels, all forfend


s: That, if Rollánd lives not, I still should live."


s: Her color fades, she falls prone at the feet


s: Of Carlemagne--dead ... God's mercy on her soul!


s: Barons of France mourn her with pitying tears.


s: The King, in hope 'tis but a swoon, with tears


s: Her form; the head upon the shoulders sinks.


s: As soon as Carle knows it is death indeed,


s: Four countesses he summons, bids them bear


s: All night they watched the body, and at morn


s: With highest honors by the King's command.


s: The Emperor is once more at Aix. There stands


s: His hands are fastened to a stake with thongs


s: Of deer-skin by the sergeants who then beat


s: His body well with staves and heavy cords.


s: Such treatment was his true desert. He waits


s: Written it is in ancient Geste of France


s: That Carle then summoned men from all his lands,


s: Who met at Aix's Chapelle. A solemn feast


s: It was; some say the Baron Saint Silvestre's.


s: The Emperor bade them drag him to his bar.


s: "Seigneurs Barons," said to them Carle the King,


s: His craft lost twenty thousand of my Franks;


s: And Olivier, the brave and courteous Knight.


s: The traitor sold my brave twelve Peers for gain."


s: Deny. Of wealth and honors had [Rollánd]


s: Deprived me, and for this, his loss and death


s: I wrought, but treason none I will confess."


s: Respond the French:--"On this we counsel take."


s: Has cast a glance, and on his thirty kin


s: Who 'round him stand; then with firm voice exclaims:


s: "Barons! Now hear me all, for love of God!


s: I to the Emperor's host belonged, and served


s: Him ever in all faith and love. Rollánd,


s: Had doomed my days to torture and to death.


s: Was sent, wisdom alone my shield and guard;


s: By Carle and all his Barons this was heard.


s: Revenge this was, but treason it was none."


s: Reply the French:--"All this we well shall weigh."


s: On seeing the great plea was to commence,


s: Thirty good Knights were called by Ganelon


s: Out of his kin, and one among them makes


s: In words, and apt with reason plausible;


s: Withal, a vassal brave to guard his arms.


s: I place; my life from death, my name from shame


s: Preserve!"--Said Pinabel:--"Thou shalt be saved.


s: Dare one French Knight condemn thee to be hanged,


s: And would the Emperor make us both to meet


s: In combat, my good sword will his rash word


s: Believe."--And at his feet falls Ganelon.


s: In council met;--Allemans, Tiedeis in great


s: Array. Those from Alverne most courteous prove


s: One to the others said:--"To leave this plea


s: Right would it be, and pray Carl'magne, this once


s: Will serve his lord with truer faith and love.


s: Rollánd lies in his grave; nor wealth, nor gold


s: Restores him to your eyes. This cruel fight


s: Is folly."--All the Knights approve, save one,


s: To Carle his Barons come again, and say:


s: "We pray you, sire, acquit Count Ganelon;


s: Then will he serve you with true faith and love.


s: Grant him his life which springs from noble race.


s: Rollánd lies in his grave; ne'er shall we see


s: Him more, nor treasures e'er can bring him back."


s: Exclaimed the King: "Vile traitors are ye all!"


s: Now, seeing all will fail him, o'er Carle's eyes


s: And features gloom descends; by grief o'erwhelmed


s: He cries: "Unhappy that I am!" Then stood


s: D'Anjou, before the King. Thin, light of frame,


s: Hair raven-black, [face] somewhat brown of hue,


s: In height nor tall nor short; with courtesy


s: He spake thus to the Emp'ror: "Fair sire King,


s: Be not cast down. That I have served you well


s: Ere this, you know. 'Tis my ancestral right


s: Should have restrained his hate. A treason foul


s: Ganelon wrought against Rollánd; forsworn


s: For all his crimes his death I here demand,


s: Be thrown away--the perjurer's just doom.


s: I speak, this sword of mine girt to my side


s: Will make them good."--All cry: "Well have you said."


s: Tall, strong and swift, and brave. Strike he but once,


s: He said: "Sire, unto you belongs this plea.


s: Command these clamors to be hushed. There stands


s: Tierri who now his judgment has pronounced.


s: With this his right hand glove of deer-skin gave


s: Good pledges." Of his kin then thirty knights


s: Were given as legal sureties of his pledge.


s: "I also give my pledge," the Emperor said,


s: "And have them guarded safe till judgment pass."


s: When Tierri sees that now the fight is near,


s: He gives the Emperor his right hand glove.


s: To him the sureties Carle himself provides,


s: Bids that they bring four benches to the place


s: Whereon the combatants shall sit. The terms


s: Are judged by all the others as most fair.


s: The lists. Then for their steeds and arms both called.


s: Both knights now made them ready for the fight,


s: Were shriven, assoiled, and blessed; a mass have heard,


s: Communion have received, and richest alms


s: Bequeathed to monasteries.--Before striking


s: They both appear.--Gold spurs their heels adorn;


s: They wear white hauberks light and strong; bright helms


s: Clasp on their heads, and gold hilt swords are girt


s: Upon their thighs, and to their necks are bound


s: Strong quartered shields; they wield in each right hand


s: A trenchant sword, and on fleet steeds they mount;


s: Then melt in tears one hundred thousand knights


s: Who for Rollánd's sake wish Tierri well.


s: Yea--but God knows what way the thing will end.


s: And here our Barons will the combat try.


s: Most valiant knights are both; the steeds they ride


s: Are swift and stout; with spurs in flanks, and freed


s: Of rein, they dash.--The warriors all their might


s: And skill unite to strike the surest blow.


s: Bucklers beneath the shock are torn and crushed,


s: White hauberks rent in shreds, asunder bursts


s: Each courser's girth, the saddles, turning, fall.


s: One hundred thousand men look weeping on....


s: Both knights leap on the earth, and, quick as light,


s: Stand face to face.--Strong, fiery Pinabel


s: And Tierri for each other seek. Their steeds


s: Are fled.--But their gold-hilted swords they wield;


s: And on the helms of steel they shower such blows


s: As rashed the thongs. Loudly the knights lament,


s: And Carle exclaims:--"Show thou the right, O God!"


s: Cried Pinabel:--"Tierri, surrender thou!


s: And to thy pleasure will I yield my wealth;


s: But let the King forgive Count Ganelon!"


s: Tierri replied:--"Thy offers all are vain;


s: Vile treason were it such a pact to make;


s: But God shall judge us and make plain the right."


s: Then Tierri spake:--"I hold thee, Pinabel,


s: As Baron true, great, strong, of handsome mold;


s: Thy peers acknowledge thee as valiant knight;


s: Well, let this combat cease, between the King


s: And thee a covenant I will strive to make.


s: That future ages shall record the doom."


s: Each other's gold-encrusted helm with rage


s: So rash that sparkling fires spurt through the air.


s: No power will now disjoint the combatants:


s: The death of one can only close the strife.


s: He deals on Tierri's helmet of Provence,


s: That the sparks fly in showers, and, falling, set


s: The grass ablaze. Then aiming at his foe


s: His keen-edged brand, down to the brow cuts through


s: His helm; the blade glides down across his face,


s: And plows his right cheek with a deep red gash;


s: But God protects him, and averts his death.


s: Tierri, on seeing blood gush from his brow


s: And tinge the grassy field, strikes Pinabel


s: On his steel-burnished helmet, and cuts through


s: To the nose-plate. His head is cleft in twain


s: And gushes forth the brain. This fatal blow


s: Gives Pinabel his death, and ends the fight.


s: The French exclaim:--"O wondrous work of God!


s: With all his kin who sureties were for him!"


s: The Emperor Carle arrived with an escort


s: Of forty Barons,--Naimes the Duke, Ogier


s: De Dannemarche, Geffrei d'Anjou, Willalmes


s: De Blaive.--In close embrace the King has pressed


s: Tierri, and with his mantle's sables wiped


s: The warrior's face; then lays his furs aside


s: And on his shoulders others are arrayed.


s: Meanwhile the knight, by friendly hands disarmed,


s: To Aix.--Amid the place they all dismount,


s: And now the sureties must abide their doom.


s: Carlemagne around him calls his counts and dukes:


s: "What counsel give ye touching those I kept,


s: Respond the French:--"Let none of them survive!"--


s: Carle then commands a road-keeper, Basbrun:


s: By this gray beard of mine, I swear, if one


s: Escape, thou diest but a villain's death!"--


s: Answered the man:--"What else but to obey?"--


s: Then by a hundred sergeants roughly seized,


s: Those thirty men are hanged.--Who man betrays


s: Destroys himself and others drags to death.


s: And now have turned away Baiviers, Allemans,


s: Poitevins, Bretons and Normans; but more


s: Than all, the French advise that Ganelon


s: Should die a death of torture. Then they tie


s: With cords his hands and feet. Four sergeants bring


s: For Ganelon; bound between them, limb from limb


s: Is rent away, each nerve and muscle stretched


s: And torn. The clear blood streams upon the green.


s: Thus perished Ganelon by a felon's death....


s: Traitors of evil deeds must never boast.


s: When the Emperor Carle had wreaked his full revenge,


s: He called the bishops from the realms of France,


s: And from Baviere, and those of Alemaigne:


s: "Now in my [court] have I a captive, sprung


s: From noble race. Such sermons has she heard,


s: In the true God, and Christian faith embrace.


s: Baptize her so that He may save her soul;


s: God-mothers choose her of our noblest dames."


s: Were thronged, and soon before the holy Fonts


s: Henceforth a Christian holding fast the Truth.


s: His justice and his heavy wrath assuaged,


s: And brought Queen Bramimunde to Christian faith,


s: The day was over and the night had fall'n.


s: The King sought rest within his vaulted room.


s: Saint Gabriel brought him word from God and said:


s: "Carle, of thy empire summon all the hosts


s: For swiftest marching to the land of Bire;


s: So shalt thou succor King Vivien in Imphe,


s: The Christians look to thee and cry for help."--


s: Will has he none to go, the King, but moans:--


s: "O, God," quoth he, "so troublous is my life!"--


s: Whereat he weeps, and tears his hoary beard.


s: Thus endeth here the Geste Turoldus sang.


s: Molted. Because in that condition, better for hunting.


s: _Pallies._ A square piece of silk on which the knights used


s: _Tables._ In the romances of the Middle Ages the game of


s: tables means tric-trac, chess, checkers, etc.


s: A sort of undergarment made of gold and silk brocade


s: worn in time of war under the coat of mail, and in time of


s: peace under the mantle of fur. In the latter case it was of silk.


s: The numbers indicate stanzas in this edition.


s: AIX, capital of Charlemagne's empire. 3.


s: ALVERNE and ALFERNE, Auvergne, French Province. 224.


s: ARGONNE, city of France (Champagne). 227.


s: BELNE, Beaune, French city (Burgundy). 144.


s: BLAVE, Blaye, near Bordeaux, France. 269.


s: BUTENTROT, country supposed to be situated in Cappadocia. 234.


s: DANEMARCHE, Denmark. 220.--Etymology, Dania and Marcha, limit.


s: GASCUIGNE, Gascony, Gascuin, Gascon. 65.


s: GLAZA, Galaza, and adj. Galazin, place, and stuff made of silk


s: LEUTIS, believed to be Poland. 244. See G. Paris in Romania, II.,


s: MALPRUSE and MALPREISE, Pagan region. 236.


s: MARBRISE and MARBRUSE, unknown places. 193.


s: MONTJOIE.--Etym. Mons gaudii, name of Carle's standard;


s: the oriflamme and French war-cry. 93. See note in Gautier's


s: NERBUNE, Narbone, city, South of France. 269.


s: OLIFANT, Roland's ivory horn. Etym. _Elephantus_. 85.


s: ORMALEIS, unknown. 238. See Romania, II., and Gautier's


s: PEITEVINS for Poitevins, of Poitou. 224.


s: SAINT-ROMAIN, church of Blaye, near Bordeaux. 269.


s: SAINTS (les), Les Saints of Cologne (Gautier); others say


s: SIZRE, now Cisa; Etym. Cæsaris, place of the defiles, near


s: Merely a few explanations of conditions which may be censured by


s: publisher, author or holder of the copyright as indicated in the


s: The Century Company: For permission to reprint from _St. Nicholas


s: Houghton Mifflin Company: With their permission and by special


s: Charles Scribner's Sons: For permission to use "The Dinkey-Bird,"


s: To Ph[oe]be                            _W. S. Gilbert_


s: Shake, Mulleary and Go-ethe            _H. C. Bunner_


s: If We Didn't Have to Eat               _Nixon Waterman_


s: Cupid's Darts                          _Unknown_


s: His Mother-in-Law                      _Walter Parke_


s: Hom[oe]opathic Soup                    _Unknown_


s: The Fisherman's Chant                  _F. C. Burnand_


s: The Lay of the Lover's Friend          _William B. Aytoun_


s: Man's Place in Nature                  _Unknown_


s: Reflections on Cleopathera's Needle    _Cormac O'Leary_


s: A Sketch from the Life                 _Arthur Guiterman_


s: Minguillo's Kiss                       _Unknown_


s: Why Don't the Men Propose?             _Thomas Haynes Bayly_


s: Ain't it Awful, Mabel?                 _John Edward Hazzard_


s: A Dialogue from Plato                  _Austin Dobson_


s: My Mistress's Boots                    _Frederick Locker-Lampson_


s: Nora's Vow                             _Sir Walter Scott_


s: Pet's Punishment                       _J. Ashby-Sterry_


s: The Sabine Farmer's Serenade           _Father Prout_


s: The Clown's Courtship                  _Unknown_


s: The V-a-s-e                            _James Jeffrey Roche_


s: The Hen-roost Man                      _Ruth McEnery Stuart_


s: St. Anthony's Sermon to the Fishes     _Abraham á Sancta-Clara_


s: All's Well That Ends Well              _Unknown_


s: Holy Willie's Prayer                   _Robert Burns_


s: The Candidate's Creed                  _James Russell Lowell_


s: The Devil's Walk on Earth              _Robert Southey_


s: Rev. Gabe Tucker's Remarks             _Unknown_


s: Phillis's Age                          _Matthew Prior_


s: The Bachelor's Dream                   _Thomas Hood_


s: What's in a Name?                      _R. K. Munkittrick_


s: K. K.--Can't Calculate                 _Frances M. Whitcher_


s: Then Ag'in                             _Sam Walter Foss_


s: Woman's Will                           _John G. Saxe_


s: Giles's Hope                           _Samuel Taylor Coleridge_


s: A Remedy Worse than the Disease        _Matthew Prior_


s: Rev. Doctor's Eyes                   _George Outram_


s: What's My Thought Like?                _Thomas Moore_


s: On Butler's Monument                   _Rev. Samuel Wesley_


s: The Editor's Wooing                    _Robert H. Newell_


s: The Baby's Debut                       _James Smith_


s: The Lawyer's Invocation to Spring      _Henry Howard Brownell_


s: The House that Jack Built              _Samuel Taylor Coleridge_


s: Select Passages from a Coming Poet     _F. Anstey_


s: The Husband's Petition                 _William E. Aytoun_


s: Somewhere-in-Europe-Wocky              _F. G. Hartswick_


s: "There's a Bower of Beanvines"         _Phoebe Cary_


s: John Thomson's Daughter                _Phoebe Cary_


s: Home Sweet Home with Variations        _H. C. Bunner_


s: A Poe-'em of Passion                   _C. F. Lummis_


s: The Quaker's Meeting                   _Samuel Lover_


s: The Deacon's Masterpiece               _Oliver Wendell Holmes_


s: My Aunt's Spectre                      _Mortimer Collins_


s: Robinson Crusoe's Story                _Charles E. Carryl_


s: That Gentleman from Boston Town        _Joaquin Miller_


s: Plain Language from Truthful James     _Bret Harte_


s: Hans Breitmann's Party                 _Charles Godfrey Leland_


s: A Sailor's Yarn                        _James Jeffrey Roche_


s: Skipper Ireson's Ride                  _John Greenleaf Whittier_


s: The Bald-headed Tyrant                 _Vandyne, Mary E._


s: Barney McGee                           _Richard Hovey_


s: Travesty of Miss Fanshawe's Enigma     _Horace Mayhew_


s: The Endless Song                       _Ruth McEnery Stuart_


s: Half Hours with the Classics           _H. J. DeBurgh_


s: Sally Simpkin's Lament                 _Thomas Hood_


s: Death's Ramble                         _Thomas Hood_


s: A Carman's Account of a Law Suit       _Sir David Lindesay_


s: Questions with Answers                 _Unknown_


s: Love's Moods and Senses                _Unknown_


s: A Bachelor's Mono-Rhyme                _Charles Mackay_


s: The Jovial Priest's Confession         _Leigh Hunt_


s: Mr. Finney's Turnip                    _Unknown_


s: Humpty Dumpty's Recitation             _Lewis Carroll_


s: The Legend of the First Cam-u-el       _Arthur Guiterman_


s: Prior to Miss Belle's Appearance       _James Whitcomb Riley_


s: Counsel to Those that Eat              _Unknown_


s: Quixotic is his enterprise and hopeless his adventure is,


s: Who seeks for jocularities that haven't yet been said;


s: The world has joked incessantly for over fifty centuries,


s: And every joke that's possible has long ago been made.


s: I started as a humourist with lots of mental fizziness,


s: But humour is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse;


s: That no reasonable offer I am likely to refuse.


s: Oh, happy was that humourist--the first that made a pun at all--


s: Who when a joke occurred to him, however poor and mean,


s: Was absolutely certain that it never had been done at all--


s: How popular at dinners must that humourist have been!


s: And they sneer if you inform them that a door can be a jar!


s: In search of quip and quiddity I've sat all day alone, apart--


s: And all that I could hit on as a problem was--to find


s: Analogy between a scrag of mutton and a Bony-part,


s: Which offers slight employment to the speculative mind.


s: For you cannot call it very good, however great your charity--


s: It's not the sort of humour that is greeted with a shout--


s: And I've come to the conclusion that my mine of jocularity,


s: In present Anno Domini is worked completely out!


s: That my mine of jocularity is worked completely out!


s: Oh, what a fund of joy jocund lies hid in harmless hoaxes!


s: What deep delight from sources trite inventive humour coaxes,


s: Gunpowder placed inside its waist improves a mild Havana,


s: When people dine no kind of wine beats ipecacuanha,


s: Then naught annoys the organ boys like throwing red hot coppers.


s: And stringy snares across the stairs cause unexpected croppers.


s: If you commence with eighteenpence--it's all you'll have to pay;


s: You may command a pleasant and a most instructive day.


s: Prepared with these cheap properties, amusing tricks to play


s: Upon a friend a man may spend a most delightful day.


s: _When the War is over and the Kaiser's out of print


s: I'm going to buy some tortoises and watch the beggars sprint;


s: When the War is over and the sword at last we sheathe


s: I'm going to keep a jelly-fish and listen to it breathe._


s: _When the War is over and the battle has been won


s: I'm going to buy a barnacle and take it for a run;


s: When the War is over and the German fleet we sink


s: I'm going to keep a silkworm's egg and listen to it think._


s: _When the War is over and we've done the Belgians proud


s: I'm going to keep a chrysalis and read to it aloud;


s: When the War is over and we've finished up the show


s: I'm going to plant a lemon pip and listen to it grow_.


s: Oh, I'm tired of the noise and turmoil of battle,


s: And I'm even upset by the lowing of cattle,


s: And the clang of the bluebells is death to my liver,


s: And the roar of the dandelion gives me a shiver,


s: And a glacier, in movement, is much too exciting,


s: And I'm nervous, when standing on one, of alighting--


s: Give me Peace; that is all, that is all that I seek....


s: I have felt the thrill of passion in the poet's mystic book


s: And I've lingered in delight to catch the rhythm of the brook;


s: I've felt the ecstasy that comes when prima donnas reach


s: For upper C and hold it in a long, melodious screech.


s: And yet the charm of all these blissful memories fades away


s: As I think upon the fortune that befell the other day,


s: As I bring to recollection, with a joyous, wistful sigh,


s: That I woke and felt the need of extra covers in July.


s: Oh, eerie hour of drowsiness--'twas like a fairy spell,


s: That respite from the terrors we have known, alas, so well,


s: The malevolent mosquito, with a limp and idle bill,


s: Hung supinely from the ceiling, all exhausted by his chill.


s: And the early morning sunbeam lost his customary leer


s: And brought a gracious greeting and a prophecy of cheer;


s: A generous affability reached up from earth to sky,


s: When I woke and felt the need of extra covers in July.


s: In every life there comes a time of happiness supreme,


s: When joy becomes reality and not a glittering dream.


s: 'Tis less appreciated, but it's worth a great deal more


s: Than tides which taken at their flood lead on to fortune's shore.


s: When once in kindly mood she deigns to waft our woes away!


s: And the memory will cheer me, though all other pleasures fly,


s: Of how I woke and needed extra covers in July.


s: When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock,


s: And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin' turkey-cock,


s: And the clackin' of the guineys, and the cluckin' of the hens,


s: And the rooster's hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence;


s: O it's then's the times a feller is a-feelin' at his best,


s: With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest,


s: They's something kindo' hearty-like about the atmosphere,


s: When the heat of summer's over and the coolin' fall is here--


s: Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossoms on the trees,


s: And the mumble of the hummin'-birds and buzzin' of the bees;


s: But the air's so appetisin'; and the landscape through the haze


s: Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days


s: Is a pictur that no painter has the colorin' to mock--


s: When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.


s: The husky, rusty rustle of the tossels of the corn,


s: And the raspin' of the tangled leaves, as golden as the morn;


s: The stubble in the furries--kindo' lonesome-like, but still


s: A-preachin' sermons to us of the barns they growed to fill;


s: The strawstack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed;


s: The hosses in theyr stalls below--the clover overhead!--


s: O, it sets my heart a-clickin' like the tickin' of a clock,


s: When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock!


s: Yes, write if you want to--there's nothing like trying;


s: Who knows what a treasure your casket may hold?


s: I'll show you that rhyming's as easy as lying,


s: If you'll listen to me while the art I unfold.


s: Here's a book full of words: one can choose as he fancies,


s: As a painter his tint, as a workman his tool;


s: Just think! all the poems and plays and romances


s: Were drawn out of this, like the fish from a pool!


s: You can wander at will through its syllabled mazes,


s: And take all you want--not a copper they cost;


s: What is there to hinder your picking out phrases


s: For an epic as clever as "Paradise Lost"?


s: Don't mind if the index of sense is at zero;


s: Use words that run smoothly, whatever they mean;


s: Are much the same thing in the rhyming machine.


s: There are words so delicious their sweetness will smother


s: That boarding-school flavour of which we're afraid;


s: There is "lush" is a good one and "swirl" is another;


s: Put both in one stanza, its fortune is made.


s: With musical murmurs and rhythmical closes


s: You can cheat us of smiles when you've nothing to tell;


s: You hand us a nosegay of milliner's roses,


s: And we cry with delight, "Oh, how sweet they do smell!"


s: Perhaps you will answer all needful conditions


s: For winning the laurels to which you aspire,


s: By docking the tails of the two prepositions


s: I' the style o' the bards you so greatly admire.


s: As for subjects of verse, they are only too plenty


s: For ringing the changes on metrical chimes;


s: A maiden, a moonbeam, a lover of twenty,


s: Have filled that great basket with bushels of rhymes.


s: Let me show you a picture--'tis far from irrelevant--


s: By a famous old hand in the arts of design;


s: 'Tis only a photographed sketch of an elephant;


s: The name of the draughtsman was Rembrandt of Rhine.


s: How easy! no troublesome colours to lay on;


s: It can't have fatigued him, no, not in the least;


s: A dash here and there with a haphazard crayon,


s: And there stands the wrinkled-skinned, baggy-limbed beast.


s: Just so with your verse--'tis as easy as sketching;


s: You can reel off a song without knitting your brow,


s: As lightly as Rembrandt a drawing or etching;


s: It is nothing at all, if you only know how.


s: Well, imagine you've printed your volume of verses;


s: Your forehead is wreathed with the garland of fame;


s: Your poem the eloquent school-boy rehearses;


s: Her album the school-girl presents for your name.


s: Each morning the post brings you autograph letters;


s: You'll answer them promptly--an hour isn't much


s: For the honour of sharing a page with your betters,


s: With magistrates, members of Congress, and such.


s: Of course you're delighted to serve the committees


s: That come with requests from the country all round;


s: You would grace the occasion with poems and ditties


s: When they've got a new school-house, or poor-house, or pound.


s: With a hymn for the saints, and a song for the sinners,


s: You go and are welcome wherever you please;


s: You're a privileged guest at all manner of dinners;


s: You've a seat on the platform among the grandees.


s: At length your mere presence becomes a sensation;


s: Your cup of enjoyment is filled to its brim


s: With the pleasure Horatian of digitmonstration,


s: As the whisper runs round of "That's he!" or "That's him!"


s: But, remember, O dealer in phrases sonorous,


s: So daintily chosen, so tunefully matched,


s: Though you soar with the wings of the cherubim o'er us,


s: The ovum was human from which you were hatched.


s: No will of your own, with its puny compulsion,


s: Can summon the spirit that quickens the lyre;


s: It comes, if at all, like the sibyl's convulsion,


s: And touches the brain with a finger of fire.


s: So, perhaps, after all, it's as well to be quiet,


s: If you've nothing you think is worth saying in prose,


s: As to furnish a meal of their cannibal diet


s: To the critics, by publishing, as you propose.


s: But it's all of no use, and I'm sorry I've written;


s: I shall see your thin volume some day on my shelf;


s: For the rhyming tarantula surely has bitten,


s: And music must cure you, so pipe it yourself.


s: Ten days and nights, with sleepless eye,


s: They sit there, on their chests, as bland


s: They none of them could show much teeth--


s: You, lose your love, or loaves, and fall


s: "God bless the man who first invented sleep!"


s: And bless him, also, that he didn't keep


s: Yes--bless the man who first invented sleep,


s: But blast the man, with curses loud and deep,


s: Whate'er the rascal's name, or age, or station,


s: Who first invented, and went round advising,


s: "Rise with the lark, and with the lark to bed,"


s: Maxims like these are very cheaply said;


s: But, ere you make yourself a fool or fowl,


s: Pray just inquire about his rise and fall,


s: And he who cannot keep his precious head


s: Thompson, who sung about the "Seasons," said


s: It was a glorious thing to _rise_ in season;


s: He wrote so charmingly. The simple fact is


s: His preaching wasn't sanctioned by his practice.


s: 'Tis, doubtless, well to be sometimes awake,--


s: Of our best deeds and days, we find, in sooth,


s: The hours that leave the slightest cause to weep


s: Are those we passed in childhood or asleep!


s: 'Tis beautiful to leave the world awhile


s: For the soft visions of the gentle night;


s: And free, at last, from mortal care or guile,


s: In sleep's sweet realm so cosily shut in,


s: Where, at the worst, we only _dream_ of sin!


s: So let us sleep, and give the Maker praise.


s: I like the lad who, when his father thought


s: To clip his morning nap by hackneyed phrase


s: Of vagrant worm by early songster caught,


s: Cried, "Served him right!--it's not at all surprising;


s: The worm was punished, sir, for early rising!"


s: Hid in lowest drifts below the earliest stratum


s: "Older than the beasts, the oldest Palæotherium;


s: Older than the trees, the oldest Cryptogami;


s: Older than the hills, those infantile eruptions


s: "Eo--Mio--Plio--whatsoe'er the 'cene' was


s: That those vacant sockets filled with awe and wonder,--


s: Whether shores Devonian or Silurian beaches,--


s: "Or has the professor slightly antedated


s: By some thousand years thy advent on this planet,


s: Giving thee an air that's somewhat better fitted


s: "Wert thou true spectator of that mighty forest


s: When above thy head the stately Sigillaria


s: Reared its columned trunks in that remote and distant


s: "Tell us of that scene--the dim and watery woodland,


s: Songless, silent, hushed, with never bird or insect,


s: Veiled with spreading fronds and screened with tall club-mosses,


s: "When beside thee walked the solemn Plesiosaurus,


s: And all around thee crept the festive Ichthyosaurus,


s: While from time to time above thee flew and circled


s: "Tell us of thy food,--those half-marine refections,


s: Crinoids on the shell, and Brachipods _au naturel_,--


s: Cuttle-fish to which the _pieuvre_ of Victor Hugo


s: "Speak, thou awful vestige of the Earth's creation--


s: Tell the wondrous secret of thy past existence--


s: Even as I gazed, a thrill of the maxilla,


s: And a lateral movement of the condyloid process,


s: With post-pliocene sounds of healthy mastication,


s: And, from that imperfect dental exhibition,


s: Stained with expressed juices of the weed Nicotian,


s: Came these hollow accents, blent with softer murmurs


s: "Which my name is Bowers, and my crust was busted


s: Falling down a shaft in Calaveras county,


s: But I'd take it kindly if you'd send the pieces


s: A coryphée who lived and danced in naughty, gay Paree,


s: Was every bit as pretty as a French girl e'er can be


s: Maurice Boulanger (there's a name that would adorn a king),


s: But Morris Baker was the name they called the man I sing.


s: He lived in New York City in the Street that's labeled Spring


s: Now Baker was a lonesome youth and wanted to be wed,


s: And for a wife, all over town he hunted, it is said;


s: And up and down Fifth Avenue he ofttimes wanderéd


s: And had he met Celestine, not a doubt but Cupid's darts


s: Would in a trice have wounded both of their fond, loving hearts;


s: But he has never left New York to stray in foreign parts


s: And she has never left Paree and so, of course, you see


s: There's not the slightest chance at all she'll marry Morris B.


s: For love to get well started, really needs propinquity


s: Sam Brown was a fellow from way down East,


s: If they told him of Italy's sunny clime,


s: If they marvelled at Ætna's fount of fire,


s: 'N' I guess it'll cool her fiery nater!"


s: They showed him a room where a queen had slept;


s: They showed him Lucerne; but he had drunk


s: Here they plied him with draughts of wine,


s: Though he vowed old cider was twice as fine,


s: Till the fumes of Falernian filled his head,


s: And he slept as sound as the silent dead;


s: And laid him at length in the rocky tomb.


s: They piled old skeletons round the stone,


s: Then watched from a distance the taper's gleam,


s: Waiting to jeer at his frightened scream,


s: When he should wake from his drunken dream.


s: But instantly saw through the flimsy joke;


s: "I see how it is. It's the judgment day,


s: Can't none o' you Romans start, I wonder?


s: "Is standing straight with outstretched arms


s: With both thumbs pointing toward the ground,"


s: "An' I made a prayer right then an' there--


s: "If I have erred, I err in company with Abraham Lincoln."


s: 'Twould be jolly if we didn't have to eat.


s: We'd save money if we didn't have to eat.


s: We could get there if we didn't have to eat.


s: To you, my purse, and to none other wight,


s: For, certes, ye now make me heavy chere;


s: That I of you the blissful sowne may here,


s: Or see your color like the sunne bright,


s: Now purse, thou art to me my lives light,


s: And saviour, as downe in this world here,


s: Out of this towne helpe me by your might,


s: On the eighth day of March it was, some people say,


s: That Saint Pathrick at midnight he first saw the day;


s: While others declare 'twas the ninth he was born,


s: And 'twas all a mistake between midnight and morn;


s: For mistakes _will_ occur in a hurry and shock,


s: And some blam'd the baby--and some blam'd the clock--


s: Till with all their cross-questions sure no one could know,


s: If the child was too fast--or the clock was too slow.


s: Now the first faction fight in ould Ireland, they say,


s: Was all on account of Saint Pathrick's birthday,


s: Some fought for the eighth--for the ninth more would die.


s: And who wouldn't see right, sure they blacken'd his eye!


s: At last, _both_ the factions so positive grew,


s: That _each_ kept a birthday, so Pat then had _two_,


s: Till Father Mulcahy, who showed them their sins,


s: Said, "No one could have two birthdays but a _twins_."


s: Says he, "Boys, don't be fightin' for eight or for nine,


s: Don't be always dividin'--but sometimes combine;


s: Combine eight with nine, and seventeen is the mark,


s: So let that be his birthday."--"Amen," says the clerk.


s: "If he wasn't a _twins_, sure our hist'ry will show--


s: That, at least, he's worth any _two_ saints that we know!"


s: Then they all got blind dhrunk--which complated their bliss,


s: And we keep up the practice from that day to this.


s: Her little feet!... Beneath us ranged the sea,


s: She sat, from sun and wind umbrella-shaded,


s: Brown rings and white, distracting--to the knee!


s: Flowed rhythmic forth. The nobodies paraded.


s: And thro' my dream went pulsing fast and free:


s: Till she made room for some one. It was He!


s: A port-wine flavored He, a He who traded,


s: Quite bulbously his ample boots upbraided


s: The wrong and sinful practice of going into school.


s: The glorious institution of always being late.


s: What speech, my friend, say, do you know,


s: Then, Christian, you may soothe your foe


s: While the dew fell in showers from the passion flowers


s: Of the Faëry Queen, and are seen, I ween,


s: And perhaps in your skies there glow not


s: That I fail'd to remark;--it was rather dark


s: _My_ eyes were p'r'aps blurr'd; and besides I'd heard


s: All breakfastless, too, from the public view,


s: (If shawl she had on, which I doubt)--has gone,


s: As to why we were there, who on earth we were,


s: (Look out _wold_) with its wonderful carpet


s: The yellow, gorse--call'd sometimes "whin."


s: Cruel boys on its prickles might spike a


s: You wouldn't? Then think of how kind you


s: Your compassion--and then, look behind you


s: At yon barley-ears! Don't they look brave


s: As they undulate--(_undulate_, mind you,


s: The noise of those sheep-bells, how faint it


s: Sounds here--(on account of our height)!


s: And this hillock itself--who could paint it,


s: And this wold with its heathery garment--


s: But--although there is not any harm in't--


s: On their charms to a dull little varmint


s: The sextant of the meetinouse, which sweeps


s: And dusts, or is supposed too! and makes fiers,


s: And lites the gas and sometimes leaves a screw loose,


s: in which case it smells orful--worse than lampile;


s: And wrings the Bel and toles it when men dyes


s: to the grief of survivin pardners, and sweeps pathes;


s: And for the servases gits $100 per annum,


s: Which them that thinks deer, let em try it;


s: Getting up be foar star-lite in all weathers and


s: Kindlin-fires when the wether it is cold


s: As zero, and like as not green wood for kindlers;


s: I wouldn't be hired to do it for no some--


s: Which's more than gold, wich doant cost nothin,


s: Worth more than anything exsep the Sole of Man.


s: i mean pewer Are, sextent, i mean pewer are!


s: O it is plenty out o dores, so plenty it doant no


s: What on airth to dew with itself, but flys about


s: But o sextant, in our church its scarce as piety,


s: scarce as bank bills wen agints beg for mischuns,


s: Wich some say purty often (taint nothin to me,


s: Wat I give aint nothin to nobody), but o sextant,


s: Speshally the latter, up in a tite place,


s: some is fevery, some is scrofilus, some has bad teeth,


s: And some haint none, and some aint over clean;


s: But every 1 on em breethes in and out and out and in,


s: Say 50 times a minit, or 1 million and a half breths an our,


s: Now how long will a church ful of are last at that rate,


s: I ask you, say 15 minutes, and then wats to be did?


s: Why then they must brethe it all over agin.


s: And then agin, and so on, till each has took it down,


s: At least ten times, and let it up again, and wats more


s: The same individible don't have the privilege


s: of brethen his own are, and no one's else;


s: Each one mus take whatever comes to him,


s: O sextant, don't you know our lungs is bellusses,


s: To blo the fier of life, and keep it from


s: goin out; and how can bellusses blow without wind,


s: And aint wind _are_? i put it to your conscens.


s: Or roots and airbs unto an injun Doctor,


s: Or boys to gurls. Are is for us to brethe,


s: Wat signifies who preeches if i cant brethe?


s: Wats Pol? Wats Pollus? to sinners who are ded?


s: Ded for want of breth? why sextant, when we die


s: Its only coz we cant brethe no more--that's all.


s: (Pewer are is sertin proper for the pews)


s: (It luvs to come in whare it can git warm):


s: And sperrit up the preacher, and stop garbs,


s: As wind on the dry Boans the Profit tells of.


s: Do not worry if I scurry from the grill room in a hurry,


s: Dropping hastily my curry and retiring into balk;


s: Do not let it cause you wonder if, by some mischance or blunder,


s: We encounter on the Underground and I get out and walk.


s: If I double as a cub'll when you meet him in the stubble,


s: Do not think I am in trouble or attempt to make a fuss;


s: Do not judge me melancholy or attribute it to folly


s: If I leave the Metropolitan and travel 'n a bus.


s: Do not quiet your anxiety by giving me a diet,


s: Or by base resort to _vi et armis_ fold me to your arms,


s: And let no suspicious tremor violate your wonted phlegm or


s: Any fear that Harold's memory is faithless to your charms.


s: For my passion as I dash on in that disconcerting fashion


s: Is as ardently irrational as when we forged the link


s: When you gave your little hand away to me, my own Amanda


s: As we sat 'n the veranda till the stars began to wink.


s: And I am in such a famine when your beauty I examine


s: That it lures me as the jam invites a hungry little brat;


s: But I fancy that, at any rate, I'd rather waste a penny


s: Then be spitted by the many pins that bristle from your hat.


s: I've been trying to fashion a wifely ideal,


s: And find that my tastes are so far from concise


s: That, to marry completely, no fewer than three'll


s: I've subjected my views to severe atmospheric


s: Compression, but still, in defiance of force,


s: They distinctly fall under three heads, like a cleric


s: My _first_ must be fashion's own fancy-bred daughter,


s: Proud, peerless, and perfect--in fact, _comme il faut_;


s: A waltzer and wit of the very first water--


s: But these beauties that serve to make all the men jealous,


s: Heaven's angels incarnate (the novelists tell us)


s: But so much for appearances. Now for my _second_,


s: My lover, the wife of my home and my heart:


s: Of all fortune and fate of my life to be reckon'd


s: She must know all the needs of a rational being,


s: Be skilled to keep counsel, to comfort, to coax;


s: And, above all things else, be accomplished at seeing


s: I complete the ménage by including the other


s: With all the domestic prestige of a hen:


s: As my housekeeper, nurse, or it may be, a mother


s: Total _three!_ and the virtues all well represented;


s: With fewer than this such a thing can't be done;


s: Though I've known married men who declare they're contented


s: Would you hunt during harvest, or hay-make in winter?


s: Certain qualifications essentially inter-


s: You may say that my prospects are (legally) sunless;


s: I state that I find them as clear as can be:--


s: I will marry _no_ wife, since I can't do with one less


s: I saw a certain sailorman who sat beside the sea,


s: And in the manner of his tribe he yawned this yarn to me:


s: "'Twere back in eighteen-fifty-three, or mebbe fifty-four,


s: Them wimmin names are mixey, so I don't remember plain;


s: But anyhow, she were a craft that carried schooner rig,


s: (Although Sam Swab, the bo'sun, allus swore she were a brig);


s: But anyway, we tacked an' backed an' weathered many a storm--


s: Oh, no,--as I recall it now, that week was fine an' warm!


s: Who did I say the cap'n was? I _didn't_ say at all?


s: Wa-a-ll now, his name were 'Lijah Bell--or was it Eli Ball?


s: I kinder guess 't were Eli. He'd a big, red, bushy beard--


s: But anyhow, that voyage was the first I'd ever took,


s: An' all I had to do was cut up cabbage for the cook;


s: But come to talk o' cabbage just reminds me,--that there trip


s: Would prob'ly be my _third_ one, on a Hong Kong clipper-ship.


s: The crew they were a jolly lot, an' used to sing '_Avast_,'


s: I think it were, or else '_Ahoy_,' while bailing out the mast.


s: And said: "It's time to tack again, and bring your wits to port;


s: I came to get a story both adventurous and _true_,


s: And here is how I started out to write the interview:


s: 'I saw a _certain_ sailorman,' but you turn out to be


s: The most _un_-certain sailorman that ever sailed the sea!"


s: _I must ha' told the one belongs to my twin brother Bill_!"


s: These are the things that make me laugh--


s: And I've missed of too many jokes by half.


s: The high-heeled antics of colt and calf,


s: The men who think they can act, and try--


s: These are the things that make me laugh.


s: The groom still wearing his wedding tie--


s: And I've missed of too many jokes by half!


s: With the rank conceit of the new-born fly--


s: These are the things that make me laugh!


s: For, Heaven help me! I needs must chaff,


s: These are the things that make me laugh,


s: When you slice a Georgy melon you mus' know what you is at


s: Put one-half on dis side er you--de yuther half on dat,


s: En den you puts yo' knife up, en you sorter licks de blade,


s: But eat ontell you satisfy--roll over in de shade,


s: En sleep ontell de sun shine in yo' face!


s: Her cheeks that might the rose have shamed,


s: Then _she_ may have proved false, and turned


s: Left _him_ despairing, conquered, spurned--


s: He stood on his head by the wild seashore,


s: And why? In that ship just crossing the bay


s: Oh, now he might hope for a peaceful life


s: He had borne the old lady through thick and thin,


s: And now as he looked at the ship she was in


s: He watched as the good ship cut the sea,


s: And thought if already she qualmish might be,


s: He watched till beneath the horizon's edge


s: And he sprang to the top of a rocky ledge


s: He watched till the vessel became a speck


s: And then, at the risk of breaking his neck,


s: Of all life's plagues I recommend to no man


s: I've got one who my orders does not hear,


s: Mishears them rather, and keeps blundering near.


s: Thirsty and hot, I asked her for a _drink_;


s: She bustled out, and brought me back some _ink_.


s: Blundering once more, she brought a pot of _jam_.


s: I wished in season for a cut of _salmon_;


s: And what she brought me was a huge fat _gammon_.


s: I can't my voice raise higher and still higher,


s: 'T would better be if she were deaf outright;


s: But anyhow she quits my house this night.


s: As to what to eat and what to leave alone;


s: And in time they always claim us for their own.


s: And it's often a mistake to breathe the air.


s: Some little bug is going to find you some day,


s: Some little bug will creep behind you some day,


s: Some little bug is going to find you some day.


s: While the green corn has a system of its own;


s: And a doctor will be coming to your home.


s: While an oyster sometimes has a lot to say,


s: For they know that we'll be with them right away.


s: Apple dumplings kill you quicker than a train.


s: Ah, to eat at all is such a foolish game.


s: Makes poor mortals fill their systems with such stuff?


s: And your doctor can be found quite soon enough.


s: While the grave digger makes a note upon his cuff.


s: As your relatives start scrappin 'bout your stuff.


s: Or they'll start us climbing up the milky way.


s: So before a meal some people always pray.


s: So there's only death to greet us either way;


s: And the papers then will have nice things to say.


s: Some little bug is going to find you some day,


s: Some little bug will creep behind you some day


s: Some little bug is going to find you some day.


s: On the downtown side of an uptown street


s: Is the home of a girl that I'd like to meet,


s: On the downtown side of an uptown street.


s: On the uptown side of the crowded old "L,"


s: I see her so often I know her quite well,


s: On the uptown side of the crowded old "L."


s: This girl is employed that I'd like to meet,


s: Uptown or downtown, in "L," car or street.


s: Sad mortals! thus the gods still plague you!


s: He dibbles by day, and he sniggles by night.


s: He trolls for fish, and he trolls his lay--


s: He sniggles by night, and he dibbles by day.


s: He dibbles, and sniggles, and fills his can!


s: With a sharpened hook, and a sharper eye,


s: He sniggles and dibbles for what comes by,


s: Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,


s: The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;


s: The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,


s: To which the said spectacles ought to belong.


s: So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause


s: With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning;


s: While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,


s: So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.


s: In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,


s: And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find,


s: That the Nose has had spectacles always to wear,


s: Which amounts to possession time out of mind.


s: Then holding the spectacles up to the court--


s: Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle


s: As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,


s: Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.


s: Again, would your lordship a moment suppose


s: ('Tis a case that has happened, and may be again)


s: That the visage or countenance had not a nose,


s: Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then!


s: On the whole it appears, and my argument shows


s: With a reasoning the court will never condemn,


s: That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,


s: And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.


s: Then shifting his side (as a lawyer knows how),


s: But what were his arguments few people know,


s: For the court did not think they were equally wise.


s: So his lordship decreed with a grave solemn tone,


s: Decisive and clear, without one _if_ or _but_--


s: That, whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,


s: By daylight or candlelight--Eyes should be shut!


s: Sweet kerchief, check'd with heavenly blue,


s: Nay--look not thus, with brow reproving:


s: The world would be in strange confusion!


s: We've swearing kiss'd, and kissing sworn.


s: Long as you're false and he believes you,


s: Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;


s: They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;--


s: It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.


s: They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;


s: They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;


s: They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope


s: And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.


s: In sulphureted hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;


s: And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band.


s: There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;


s: They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;


s: And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup--


s: The Food Scientist tells us: "A deficiency of iron, phosphorus,


s: potassium, calcium and the other mineral salts, colloids and


s: vitamines of vegetable origin leads to numerous forms of physical


s: I want to be filled with Calcium, grilled,


s: To line my inside with Potassium, fried,


s: Though Mineral Salts may have some faults,


s: It is told, in Buddhi-theosophic schools,


s: By observing which, when mundane labor irks


s: The particular procedure leaves research


s: But, apparently, this matter-moulded form


s: And to such as mourn an Indian Solar Clime


s: Philosophy shows us 'twixt monkey and man


s: And chiefly in losing the caudal appendage.


s: Our ancestors' holding was wholly _in tail_,


s: And the loss of this feature we claim as a merit;


s: But though often at tale-bearing people we rail,


s: 'Tis rather a loss than a gain we inherit.


s: To a man who was half--or a quarter--seas over;


s: And as for a sailor, by that he could cling,


s: And use for his hands and his feet both discover.


s: In the Arts it would quickly have found out a place;


s: The painter would use it to steady his pencil;


s: In music, how handy to pound at the bass!


s: And then one could write by its coilings prehensile.


s: The Army had gained had the fashion endured--


s: 'Twould carry a sword, or be good in saluting;


s: If the foe should turn tail, they'd be quickly secured;


s: Or, used as a lasso, 'twould help in recruiting.


s: To the Force 'twould add force--they could "run 'em in" so


s: That one to three culprits would find himself equal;


s: He could collar the two, have the other in tow--


s: A very good form of the Tale and its Sequel.


s: In life many uses 'twould serve we should see--


s: A man with no bed could hang cosily snoozing;


s: 'Twould hold an umbrella, hand cups round at tea,


s: Or a candle support while our novel perusing.


s: In fact, when one thinks of our loss from of old,


s: It makes us regret that we can't go in for it, or


s: Wish, like the Dane, we a _tail_ could unfold,


s: Instead of remaining each one a _stump_ orator.


s: The pounded yellow of two hard-boiled eggs;


s: Two boiled potatoes, passed through kitchen-sieve,


s: Smoothness and softness to the salad give;


s: Distrust the condiment that bites so soon;


s: But deem it not, thou man of herbs, a fault,


s: And, lastly, o'er the flavored compound toss


s: Oh, green and glorious! Oh, herbaceous treat!


s: 'Twould tempt the dying anchorite to eat;


s: Back to the world he'd turn his fleeting soul,


s: And plunge his fingers in the salad bowl!


s: Fate can not harm me, I have dined to-day!


s: The man who invented the women's waists that button down behind,


s: Were put to sea in a leaky boat and with never a bite to eat


s: The hours passed by on leaden wings and they saw another man


s: In the window of a bungalow, and he held a tin meat can


s: The poet is, or ought to be, a hater of the city,


s: And so, when happiness is mine, and Maud becomes my wife,


s: We'll look on town inhabitants with sympathetic pity,


s: For we shall lead a peaceful and serene Arcadian life.


s: Then shall I sing in eloquent and most effective phrases,


s: The grandeur of geraniums and the beauty of the rose;


s: Immortalise in deathless strains the buttercups and daisies--


s: For even I can hardly be mistaken as to those.


s: The music of the nightingale will ring from leafy hollow,


s: And fill us with a rapture indescribable in words;


s: And we shall also listen to the robin and the swallow


s: (I wonder if a swallow sings?) and ... well, the other birds.


s: Too long I dwelt in ignorance of all the countless treasures


s: Which dwellers in the country have in such abundant store;


s: To give a single instance of the multitude of pleasures--


s: The music of the nighting--oh, I mentioned that before.


s: And shall I prune potato-trees and artichokes, I wonder,


s: And cultivate the silo-plant, which springs (I hope it springs?)


s: In graceful foliage overhead?--Excuse me if I blunder,


s: It's really inconvenient not to know the name of things!


s: No matter; in the future, when I celebrate the beauty


s: Of country life in glowing terms, and "build the lofty rhyme"


s: Aware that every Englishman is bound to do his duty,


s: I'll learn to give the stupid things their proper names in time!


s: Meanwhile, you needn't wonder at the view I've indicated,


s: The country life appears to me indubitably blest,


s: For, even if its other charms are somewhat overstated,


s: As long as Maud is there, you see,--what matters all the rest?


s: Three score and ten by common calculation


s: The years of man amount to; but we'll say


s: He turns four-score, yet, in my estimation,


s: In all those years he has not lived a day.


s: Out of the eighty you must first remember


s: The hours of night you pass asleep in bed;


s: And, counting from December to December,


s: Just half your life you'll find you have been dead.


s: To forty years at once by this reduction


s: We come; and sure, the first five from your birth,


s: While cutting teeth and living upon suction,


s: You're not alive to what this life is worth.


s: From thirty-five next take for education


s: Fifteen at least at college and at school;


s: When, notwithstanding all your application,


s: The chances are you may turn out a fool.


s: Still twenty we have left us to dispose of,


s: But during them your fortune you've to make;


s: And granting, with the luck of some one knows of,


s: 'Tis made in ten--that's ten from life to take.


s: Out of the ten yet left you must allow for


s: The time for shaving, tooth and other aches,


s: Say four--and that leaves, six, too short, I vow, for


s: Regretting past and making fresh mistakes.


s: Meanwhile each hour dispels some fond illusion;


s: Until at length, sans eyes, sans teeth, you may


s: Have scarcely sense to come to this conclusion--


s: You've reached four-score, but haven't lived a day!


s: They said, "You've kissed the Papal Toe,


s: He cried, "Not these! Not these! For how


s: He preached, then, with wonderful force,


s: With a pint he washed down his discourse,


s: "For," says he, "I detest your dry preaching."


s: And we pitch our blind gods to the devil,


s: Says the saint--"This good day, do you hear,


s: And drank till they fell; yet, by jingo,


s: And I've nought in my larder but mutton;


s: Since St. Patrick has filled it with vermin


s: As you'd meet from Fairhead to Kilcrumper;


s: "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,


s: An' a quare lookin' needle it is, I'll be bound;


s: What a powerful muscle the queen must have had


s: That could grasp such a weapon an' wind it around!


s: Imagine her sittin' there stitchin' like mad


s: Wid a needle like that in her hand! I declare


s: It's as big as the Round Tower of Slane, an', bedad,


s: It would pass for a round tower, only it's square!


s: The taste of her, ordherin' a needle of granite!


s: An' look at the quare sort of figures upon it;


s: I wondher can these be the thracks of her thumb!


s: I once was astonished to hear of the faste


s: I declare, I would not be surprised in the laste


s: If ye told me the woman had swallowed a cow!


s: It's aisy to see why bould Cæsar should quail


s: In her presence, an' meekly submit to her rule;


s: Wid a weapon like that in her fist I'll go bail


s: She could frighten the sowl out of big Finn MacCool!


s: But, Lord, what poor pigmies the women are now,


s: Compared with the monsthers they must have been then!


s: Whin the darlin's in those days would kick up a row,


s: Holy smoke, but it must have been hot for the men!


s: Just think how a chap that goes courtin' would start


s: If his girl was to prod him wid that in the shins!


s: I have often seen needles, but bouldly assart


s: That the needle in front of me there takes the pins!


s: O, sweet Cleopathera! I'm sorry you're dead;


s: An' whin lavin' this wondherful needle behind


s: Had ye thought of bequathin' a spool of your thread


s: An' yer thimble an' scissors, it would have been kind.


s: But pace to your ashes, ye plague of great men,


s: Yer strength is departed, yer glory is past;


s: Ye'll never wield sceptre or needle again,


s: An' a poor little asp did yer bizzness at last!


s: With due condescension, I'd call your attention


s: To what I shall mention of Erin so green,


s: And without hesitation I will show how that nation


s: Became of creation the gem and the queen.


s: 'Twas early one morning, without any warning,


s: That Vanus was born in the beautiful say,


s: And by the same token, and sure 'twas provoking,


s: Her pinions were soaking and wouldn't give play.


s: Old Neptune, who knew her, began to pursue her,


s: And almost had caught her atop of the water--


s: Great Jupiter's daughter!--which never would do.


s: But Jove, the great janius, looked down and saw Vanus,


s: And Neptune so heinous pursuing her wild,


s: And he spoke out in thunder, he'd rend him asunder--


s: And sure 'twas no wonder--for tazing his child.


s: A star that was flying hard by him espying,


s: He caught with small trying, and down let it snap;


s: It fell quick as winking, on Neptune a-sinking,


s: And gave him, I'm thinking, a bit of a rap.


s: That star it was dry land, both low land and high land,


s: And formed a sweet island, the land of my birth;


s: Thus plain is the story, that sent down from glory,


s: Old Erin asthore as the gem of the earth!


s: Upon Erin nately jumped Vanus so stately,


s: But fainted, kase lately so hard she was pressed--


s: Which much did bewilder, but ere it had killed her


s: Her father distilled her a drop of the best.


s: That sup was victorious, it made her feel glorious--


s: A little uproarious, I fear it might prove--


s: So how can you blame us that Ireland's so famous


s: For drinking and beauty, for fighting and love?


s: God makes sech nights, all white an' still


s: There warn't no stoves (tell comfort died)


s: The ole queen's-arm that Gran'ther Young


s: Fust this one, an' then thet, by spells--


s: An' she'd blush scarlit, right in prayer,


s: Thet night, I tell ye, she looked _some_!


s: The blood clost roun' her heart felt glued


s: "This ain't no place," I says, "to stand--


s: Ten sweet summers, made my bosom thrill!


s: Will a swallow--or a swift, or some bird--


s: Never, never--although three times married--


s: No, mine own! though early forced to leave you,


s: Still my heart was there where first we met;


s: In those "Lodgings with an ample sea-view,"


s: There I saw her first, our landlord's oldest


s: Thou, O Sun,--who (so they say) beholdest


s: Everything,--hast gazed, I tell thee, ne'er.


s: 'Twixt her lips a yet more happy shrimp.


s: And I loved her, and our troth we plighted


s: To be young once more, and bite my thumb


s: At the world and all its cares with you, I'd


s: Hand in hand we tramp'd the golden seaweed,


s: Soon as o'er the gray cliff peep'd the dawn:


s: Side by side, when came the hour for tea, we'd


s: Crunch the mottled shrimp and hairy prawn:--


s: That sweet mite with whom I loved to play?


s: Is she girt with babes that whine and whimper,


s: Yes--she has at least a dozen wee things!


s: Scouring floors, and setting out the tea-things,