s: --no shout or lash to goad the horses to their telling


s: speed.  They were simply directed and controlled


s: by the graceful motions of a long and slender whip


s: which waved slowly to and fro above their heads.


s: The great crowd cheered the master as he came.  He


s: arose deliberately, took off his hat, and bowed.  The


s: applause was deafening.  Still standing, he whizzed


s: past us and was gone.  But something in the manner


s: of the handsome fellow struck me with a strange


s: sense of familiarity.  Was it the utter disregard of


s: fear that I saw on his face?  Was it the keenness


s: of the eye and the perfect self-possession of the


s: man?  Or was it--was it the peculiar way in which


s: the right arm had dropped to his side after his


s: salute to us while curving past us, and did I fancy,


s: for that reason, that the palm of his hand turned


s: "Clear the track, there!" came a far voice across


s: the ring.--"Don't cross there, in God's name!  Drive


s: The warning evidently came too late.  There was


s: an instant's breathless silence, then a far-away, pent-


s: sounding clash, then utter havoc in the crowd:  The


s: ropes about the ring were broken over, and a tumultuous


s: tide of people poured across the ring, myself


s: "Jest the buggy smashed, that's all!" cried a voice.


s: The man referred to was the Professor.  I caught


s: a glimpse of him as he rose from the grassy bank


s: where he had been flung.  He was very pale, but


s: calm.  An uncouth man brought him his silk hat


s: "Wish you'd just take this handkerchief and


s: brush it off," said the Professor; "I guess I've broke


s: mysterious voice of little Mary Alice Smith herself


s: that so often queried and responded as above--


s: every word accented with a sweet and eery intonation,


s: and a very gaiety of solemn earnestness that


s: baffled the cunning skill of all childish imitators.  A


s: slender wisp of a girl she was, not more than ten


s: years in appearance, though her age had been


s: given to us as fourteen.  The spindle ankles that


s: she so airily flourished from the sparse concealment


s: of a worn and shadowy calico skirt seemed scarce


s: a fraction more in girth than the slim blue-veined


s: wrists she tossed among the loose and ragged tresses


s: of her yellow hair, as she danced around the room.


s: She was, from the first, an object of curious and


s: most refreshing interest to our family--to us children


s: in particular--an interest, though years and


s: years have interposed to shroud it in the dull dust


s: of forgetfulness, that still remains vivid and bright


s: and beautiful.  Whether an orphan child only, or


s: with a father that could thus lightly send her adrift,


s: I do not know now, nor do I care to ask, but I do


s: recall distinctly that on a raw bleak day in early


s: winter she was brought to us, from a wild country settlement, by


s: shouldered man, with deep eyes and sallow cheeks


s: and weedy-looking beard, as we curiously watched


s: him from the front window stolidly swinging this


s: little, blue-lipped, red-nosed waif over the muddy


s: wagon-wheel to father's arms, like so much country


s: produce.  And even as the man resumed his seat


s: upon the thick board laid across the wagon, and


s: sat chewing a straw, with spasmodic noddings of


s: the head, as some brief further conference detained


s: him, I remember mother quickly lifting my sister


s: up from where we stood, folding and holding the


s: little form in unconscious counterpart of father and


s: the little girl without.  And how we gathered round


s: her when father brought her in, and mother fixed


s: a cozy chair for her close to the blazing fire, and


s: untied the little summer hat, with its hectic


s: trimmings, together with the dismal green veil that had


s: been bound beneath it round the little tingling ears.


s: The hollow, pale blue eyes of the child followed


s: every motion with an alertness that suggested a


s: "Dave gimme that!" she said, her eyes proudly


s: following the hat as mother laid it on the pillow of


s: the bed.  "Mustn't git it mussed up, sir! er you'll


s: have Dave in yer wool!" she continued warningly,


s: as our childish interest drew us to a nearer view of


s: Half awed, we shrank back to our first wonderment,


s: one of us, however, with the bravery to ask:


s: "Who's Dave?" reiterated the little voice half


s: scornfully.--"W'y, Dave's a great big boy!  Dave


s: works on Barnes's place.  And he kin purt' nigh


s: make a full hand, too.  Dave's purt' nigh tall as


s: your pap!  He's purt' nigh growed up--Dave is!


s: jauntily teetering her head from left to right, and


s: for the first time introducing that peculiar deliberation


s: of accent and undulating utterance that we


s: afterward found to be her quaintest and most


s: then she broke abruptly into the merriest laughter,


s: and clapped her little palms together till they fairly


s: "And who's Mary Alice Smith?" clamored a


s: The elfish figure straightened haughtily in the


s: chair.  Folding the slender arms tightly across her


s: breast, and tilting her wan face back with an


s: imperious air, she exclaimed sententiously, "W'y,


s: Mary Alice Smith is me--that's who Mary Alice


s: It was not long, however, before her usual bright


s: and infectious humor was restored, and we were


s: soon piloting the little stranger here and there about


s: the house, and laughing at the thousand funny little


s: things she said and did.  The winding stairway in


s: the hall quite dazed her with delight.  Up and down


s: she went a hundred times, it seemed.  And she


s: would talk and whisper to herself, and oftentimes


s: would stop and nestle down and rest her pleased


s: face close against the steps and pat one softly with


s: her slender hand, peering curiously down at us


s: with half-averted eyes.  And she counted them and


s: named them, every one, as she went up and down.


s: "I'm mighty glad I'm come to live in this-here


s: "Oh, 'cause," she said, starting up the stairs again


s: by an entirely novel and original method of her


s: own--" 'cause Uncle Tomps ner Aunt 'Lizabeth


s: don't live here; and when they ever come here to


s: git their dinners, like they will ef you don't watch


s: out, w'y, then I kin slip out here on these-here


s: stairs and play like I was climbin' up to the Good


s: Then we hushed our laughter, and asked her


s: where her home was, and what it was like, and


s: why she didn't like her Uncle Tomps and Aunt


s: 'Lizabeth, and if she wouldn't want to visit them


s: "Oh, yes," she artlessly answered in reply to the


s: concluding query; "I'll want to go back there lots


s: o' times; but not to see them! I'll--only--go--back


s: --there--to--see"--and here she was holding up


s: the little flared-out fingers of her left hand, and


s: with the index finger of the right touching their


s: pink tips in ordered notation with the accent of


s: --the--boy--fer--me!"  And then she clapped her


s: hands again and laughed in that half-hysterical, half-


s: musical way of hers till we all joined in and made


s: the echoes of the old hall ring again.  "And then,"


s: she went on, suddenly throwing out an imperative


s: gesture of silence--"and then, after I've been in this--


s: here house a long, long time, and you all gits so's


s: you like me awful--awful--awful well, then some


s: day you'll go in that room there--and that room


s: there--and in the kitchen--and out on the porch--


s: and down the cellar--and out in the smoke-house--


s: and the wood-house--and the loft--and all around


s: --oh, ever' place--and in here--and up the stairs--


s: and all them rooms up there--and you'll look behind


s: all the doors--and in all the cubboards--and under


s: all the beds--and then you'll look sorry-like, and


s: holler out, kind o' skeert, and you'll say:  'Where--


s: is--Mary--Alice--Smith?'  And then you'll wait


s: and listen and hold yer breath; and then somepin' 'll


s: holler back, away fur off, and say:  'Oh--she--has


s: gone--home!'  And then ever'thing'll be all still


s: ag'in, and you'll be afraid to holler any more--and


s: you dursn't play--and you can't laugh, and yer


s: throat'll thist hurt and hurt, like you been a-eatin'


s: too much calamus-root er somepin'!"  And as the


s: little gipsy concluded her weird prophecy, with a


s: final flourish of her big pale eyes, we glanced


s: furtively at one another's awestruck faces, with a


s: superstitious dread of a vague indefinite disaster


s: most certainly awaiting us around some shadowy


s: corner of the future.  Through all this speech she


s: had been slowly and silently groping up the winding


s: steps, her voice growing fainter and fainter,


s: and the littly pixy form fading, and wholly vanishing


s: at last around the spiral banister of the upper


s: landing.  Then down to us from that alien recess


s: came the voice alone, touched with a tone as of


s: wild entreaty and despair:  "Where--is--Mary--


s: Alice--Smith?"  And then a long breathless pause,


s: in which our wide-eyed group below huddled still


s: closer, pale and mute.  Then--far off and faint


s: and quavering with a tenderness of pathos that


s: dews the eyes of memory even now--came, like a


s: belated echo, the voice all desolate:  "Oh--she--has


s: What a queer girl she was, and what a fascinating


s: influence she unconsciously exerted over us!


s: We never tired of her presence; but she, deprived


s: of ours by the many household tasks that she herself


s: assumed, so rigidly maintained and deftly executed,


s: seemed always just as happy when alone as


s: when in our boisterous, fun-loving company.  Such


s: resources had Mary Alice Smith--such a wonderful


s: inventive fancy!  She could talk to herself--a


s: favorite amusement, I might almost say a popular


s: amusement, of hers, since these monologues at times


s: would involve numberless characters, chipping in


s: from manifold quarters of a wholesale discussion,


s: and querying and exaggerating, agreeing and


s: controverting, till the dishes she was washing would


s: clash and clang excitedly in the general badinage.


s: Loaded with a pyramid of glistening cups and


s: saucers, she would improvise a gallant line of march


s: from the kitchen table to the pantry, heading an


s: imaginary procession, and whistling a fife-tune that


s: would stir your blood.  Then she would trippingly


s: return, rippling her rosy fingers up and down the


s: keys of an imaginary portable piano, or stammering


s: flat-soled across the floor, chuffing and tooting like


s: a locomotive.  And she would gravely propound to


s: herself the most intricate riddles--ponder thoughtfully


s: and in silence over them--hazard the most


s: ridiculous answers, and laugh derisively at her


s: own affected ignorance.  She would guess again


s: and again, and assume the most gleeful surprise


s: upon at last giving the proper answer, and then


s: she would laugh jubilantly, and mockingly scout


s: herself with having given out "a fool-riddle" that


s: "Talk about riddles," she said abruptly to us,


s: one evening after supper, as we lingered watching


s: her clearing away the table--"talk about riddles,


s: Again we felt that indefinable thrill never


s: separate from the strange utterance, suggestive always


s: of some dark mystery, and fascinating and holding


s: "You can't guess nothin'!" she said half pityingly.


s: "W'y, them's easy as fallin' off a chunk!  First-un's


s: a man named Fox, and he kilt his wife and chopped


s: her head off, and they was a man named Wright


s: lived in that neighberhood--and he was a-goin'


s: home--and it was Saturd'y night--and he was


s: a-comin' through the big woods--and they was a


s: storm--and Wright he clumb a tree to git out of


s: the rain, and while he was up there here come


s: along a man with a dead woman--and a pickax,


s: the same tree where Mr. Wright was--so ever'


s: time it 'ud lightnin', w'y, Wright he could look down


s: and see him a-diggin' a grave there to bury the


s: woman in.  So Wright, he kep' still tel he got her


s: buried all right, you know, and went back home;


s: and then he clumb down and lit out fer town, and


s: waked up the constabul--and he got a supeeny and


s: went out to Fox's place, and had him jerked up


s: 'fore the gran' jury.  Then, when Fox was in


s: court and wanted to know where their proof was


s: that he kilt his wife, w'y, Wright he jumps up and


s: says that riddle to the judge and all the neighbers


s: that was there.  And so when they got it all studied


s: out--w'y, they tuk old Fox out and hung him under


s: the same tree where he buried Mrs. Fox under.  And


s: that's all o' that'n; and the other'n--I promised--


s: as she gave this rather ambiguous explanation of


s: the first riddle, with the mysterious comment on the


s: latter in conclusion, she shook her elfin tresses back


s: over her shoulders with a cunning toss of her head


s: and a glimmering twinkle of her pale bright eyes


s: that somewhat reminded us of the fairy godmother


s: And Mary Alice Smith was right, too, in her early


s: prognostications regarding the visits of her Uncle


s: Tomps and Aunt 'Lizabeth.  Many times through


s: the winter they "jest dropped in," as Aunt 'Lizabeth


s: always expressed it, "to see how we was a-gittin' on


s: with Mary Alice."  And once, "in court week,"


s: during a prolonged trial in which Uncle Tomps and


s: Aunt 'Lizabeth rather prominently figured, they


s: "jest dropped in" on us and settled down and dwelt


s: with us for the longest five days and nights we


s: children had ever in our lives experienced.  Nor


s: was our long term of restraint from childish sports


s: relieved wholly by their absence, since Aunt 'Lizabeth


s: had taken Mary Alice back with them, saying


s: that "a good long visit to her dear old home--pore


s: And then it was that we went about the house in


s: moody silence, the question, "Where--is--Mary--


s: Alice--Smith?" forever yearning at our lips for


s: utterance, and the still belated echo in the old hall


s: overhead forever answering, "Oh--she--has--gone


s: It was early spring when she returned.  And


s: we were looking for her coming, and knew a week


s: beforehand the very day she would arrive--for had


s: not Aunt 'Lizabeth sent special word by Uncle


s: Tomps, who "had come to town to do his millin', and


s: git the latest war news, not to fail to jest drop in


s: and tell us that they was layin' off to send Mary


s: Our little town, like every other village and


s: metropolis throughout the country at that time, was,


s: to the children at least, a scene of continuous


s: holiday and carnival.  The nation's heart was


s: palpitating with the feverish pulse of war, and already


s: the still half-frozen clods of the common highway


s: were beaten into frosty dust by the tread of marshaled


s: men; and the shrill shriek of the fife, and


s: the hoarse boom and jar and rattling patter of the


s: drums stirred every breast with something of that


s: But on the day--when Mary Alice Smith was


s: to return--what was all the gallant tumult of the


s: town to us?  I remember how we ran far up


s: the street to welcome her--for afar off we had


s: recognized her elfish face and eager eyes peering


s: expectantly from behind the broad shoulders of a


s: handsome fellow mounted on a great high-stepping


s: horse that neighed and pranced excitedly as we ran


s: "Whoo-ee!" she cried in perfect ecstasy, as we


s: paused in breathless admiration.  "Clear--the--


s: O what a day that was!  And how vain indeed


s: would be the attempt to detail here a tithe of its


s: glory, or our happiness in having back with us our


s: dear little girl, and her hysterical delight in seeing


s: us so warmly welcome to the full love of our childish


s: hearts the great, strong, round-faced, simple-


s: natured "David--Mason--Jeffries"!  Long and


s: long ago we had learned to love him as we loved


s: the peasant hero of some fairy tale of Christian


s: Andersen's; but now that he was with us in most


s: wholesome and robust verity, our very souls seemed


s: scampering from our bodies to run to him and be


s: caught up and tossed and swung and dandled in


s: All that long delicious morning we were with


s: him.  In his tender charge we were permitted to go


s: down among the tumult and the music of the


s: streets, his round good-humored face and big blue


s: eyes lit with a luster like our own.  And happy


s: little Mary Alice Smith--how proud she was of


s: him!  And how closely and how tenderly, through


s: all that golden morning, did the strong brown hand


s: clasp hers!  A hundred times at least, as we promenaded


s: thus, she swung her head back jauntily to


s: whisper to us in that old mysterious way of hers


s: --guess!"  But when he had returned us home, and


s: after dinner had started down the street alone, with


s: little Mary Alice clapping her hands after him


s: above the gate and laughing in a strange new voice,


s: and with the backs of her little fluttering hands


s: vainly striving to blot out the big tear-drops that


s: gathered in her eyes, we vaguely guessed the secret


s: she and David kept.  That night at supper-time we


s: Among the list of "killed" at Rich Mountain,


s: Virginia, occurred the name of "Jeffries, David M."


s: We kept it from her as long as we could.  At last


s: "It don't seem like no year ago to me!"  Over


s: and over she had said these words.  The face was


s: very pale and thin, and the eyes so bright--so


s: bright!  The kindly hand that smoothed away the


s: little sufferer's hair trembled and dropped tenderly


s: again upon the folded ones beneath the snowy


s: The trembling hand lifted once more and searched


s: She drew the thin hands up, and, smiling, pressed


s: the pictured face against her lips.  "David--Mason


s: moaning on and on, and "Where is Mary Alice?" it


s: And the still belated echo, through the high depths


s: of the old hall overhead, answers quaveringly back,


s: "Oh, where is Mary Alice Smith?"  She taught


s: us how to call her thus--and now she will not


s: answer us!  Have we no voice to reach her with?


s: How sweet and pure and glad they were in those old


s: days, as we recall the accents ringing through the


s: hall--the same we vainly cry to her.  Her fancies


s: were so quaint--her ways so full of prankish


s: mysteries!  We laughed then; now, upon our knees,


s: we wring our lifted hands and gaze, through streaming


s: tears, high up the stairs she used to climb in


s: childish glee, to call and answer eerily.  And now,


s: How deft the little finger-tips in every task!  The


s: hands, how smooth and delicate to lull and soothe!


s: And the strange music of her lips!  The very


s: crudeness of their speech made chaster yet the


s: childish thought her guileless utterance had caught


s: from spirit-depths beyond our reach.  And so her


s: homely name grew fair and sweet and beautiful


s: to hear, blent with the echoes pealing clear and


s: vibrant up the winding stair:  "Where--where is Mary


s: Alice Smith?"  She taught us how to call her thus


s: --but oh, she will not answer us!  We have no


s: at a dinner of the Indianapolis Literary Club.]


s: "You are old, Father William," the young man said,


s: And yet you incessantly stand on your head--


s: Do you think, at your age, it is right?"


s: come either stale, juiceless, or unpalatable.  The


s: older he grows, the mellower and riper he becomes.


s: His eyes may fail him, his step falter, and his big-


s: mouthed shoes--"a world too wide for his shrunk


s: shank"--may cluck and shuffle as he walks; his


s: rheumatics may make great knuckles of his knees;


s: the rusty hinges of his vertebrae may refuse


s: cunningly to articulate, but all the same the "backbone"


s: of the old man has been time-seasoned, tried, and


s: tested, and no deerskin vest was ever buttoned


s: round a tougher!  Look at the eccentric kinks and


s: curvings of it--its abrupt depression at the base,


s: and its rounded bulging at the shoulders; but don't


s: laugh with the smart young man who airily observes


s: how full-chested the old man would be if his head


s: were only turned around, and don't kill the young


s: man, either, until you take him out some place and


s: tell him that the old man got himself warped up in


s: that shape along about the time when everybody


s: had to hump himself.  Try to bring before the


s: young man's defective mental vision a dissolving


s: view of a "good old-fashioned barn-raisin' "--and


s: the old man doing all the "raisin' " himself, and


s: "grubbin'," and "burnin' " logs and "underbrush,"


s: and "dreenin' " at the same time, and trying to coax


s: something besides calamus to grow in the spongy


s: little tract of swamp-land that he could stand in the


s: middle of and "wobble" and shake the whole farm.


s: Or, if you can't recall the many salient features of


s: the minor disadvantages under which the old man


s: used to labor, your pliant limbs may soon overtake


s: him, and he will smilingly tell you of trials and


s: privations of the early days, until your anxiety about


s: the young man just naturally stagnates, and dries


s: In this little side-show of existence the old man


s: is always worth the full price of admission.  He


s: is not only the greatest living curiosity on exhibition,


s: but the object of the most genial solicitude and


s: interest to the serious observer.  It is even good to


s: look upon his vast fund of afflictions, finding


s: prominent above them all that wholesome patience that


s: surpasseth understanding; to dwell compassionately


s: upon his prodigality of aches and ailments, and yet,


s: by his pride in their wholesale possession, and his


s: thorough resignation to the inevitable, continually to


s: be rebuked, and in part made envious of the old


s: man's right-of-title situation.  Nature, after all, is


s: kinder than unkind to him, and always has a


s: compensation and a soothing balm for every blow that


s: age may deal him.  And in the fading embers of


s: the old man's eyes there are, at times, swift flashes


s: and rekindlings of the smiles of youth, and the old


s: artlessness about the wrinkled face that dwelt there


s: when his cheeks were like the pippins, and his


s: And thus it is the children are intuitively drawn


s: toward him, and young, pure-faced mothers are


s: forever hovering about him, with just such humorings


s: and kindly ministrations as they bestow on


s: the little emperor of the household realm, strapped


s: in his high chair at the dinner-table, crying "Amen"


s: in the midst of "grace," and ignoring the "substantials"


s: of the groaning board, and at once insisting


s: upon a square deal of the more "temporal blessings"


s: of jelly, cake, and pie.  And the old man has justly


s: earned every distinction he enjoys.  Therefore let


s: him make your hearthstone all the brighter with the


s: ruddy coal he drags up from it with his pipe, as he


s: comfortably settles himself where, with reminiscent


s: eyes, he may watch the curling smoke of his tobacco


s: as it indolently floats, and drifts and drifts,


s: and dips at last, and vanishes up the grateful flue.


s: At such times, when a five-year-old, what a haven


s: every boy has found between the old grandfather's


s: knees!  Look back in fancy at the faces blending


s: there--the old man's and the boy's--and, with the


s: nimbus of the smoke-wreaths round the brows, the


s: gilding of the firelight on cheek and chin, and the


s: rapt and far-off gazings of the eyes of both, why,


s: but for the silver tinsel of the beard of one and the


s: dusky elf-locks of the other, the faces seem almost


s: With such a view of age, one feels like whipping


s: up the lazy years and getting old at once.  In heart


s: and soul the old man is not old--and never will be.


s: He is paradoxically old, and that is all.  So it is that


s: he grows younger with increasing years, until old


s: age at worst is always at a level par with youth.


s: Who ever saw a man so old as not secretly and most


s: heartily to wish the veteran years upon years of


s: greater age?  And at what great age did ever any


s: old man pass away and leave behind no sudden


s: shock, and no selfish hearts still to yearn after him


s: and grieve on unconsoled?  Why, even in the slow


s: declining years of old Methuselah--the banner old


s: man of the universe,--so old that history grew


s: absolutely tired waiting for him to go off some place and


s: die--even Methuselah's taking off must have seemed


s: abrupt to his immediate friends, and a blow to the


s: general public that doubtless plunged it into the


s: profoundest gloom.  For nine hundred and sixty-nine


s: years this durable old man had "smelt the rose above


s: the mold," and doubtless had a thousand times


s: been told by congratulating friends that he didn't


s: look a day older than nine hundred and sixty-eight;


s: and necessarily the habit of living, with him, was


s: In his later years what an oracle he must


s: have been, and with what reverence his friends


s: must have looked upon the "little, glassy-headed,


s: hairless man," and hung upon his every utterance!


s: could he foretell the long and husky droughts


s: of summer--the gracious rains, at last,--the


s: milk-sick breeding autumn and the blighting


s: winter, simply by the way his bones felt after a


s: century's casual attack of inflammatory rheumatism!


s: And, having annually frosted his feet for some


s: odd centuries--boy and man--we can fancy with


s: what quiet delight he was wont to practise his


s: prognosticating facilities on "the boys," forecasting the


s: coming of the then fledgling cyclone and the gosling


s: blizzard, and doubtless even telling the day of the


s: month by the way his heels itched.  And with what


s: wonderment and awe must old chronic maladies


s: have regarded him--tackling him singly or in solid


s: phalanx, only to drop back pantingly, at last, and


s: slink away dumfounded and abashed!  And with


s: what brazen pride the final conquering disease must


s: have exulted over its shameless victory!  But this is


s: pathos here, and not a place for ruthless speculation:


s: a place for asterisks--not words.  Peace!


s: peace!  The man is dead!  "The fever called living


s: is over at last."  The patient slumbers.  He takes


s: his rest.  He sleeps.  Come away!  He is the oldest


s: Whether the hardy, stall-fed old man of the


s: country, or the opulent and well-groomed old man of


s: the metropolis, he is one in our esteem and the still


s: warmer affections of the children.  The old man


s: from the country--you are always glad to see him


s: and hear him talk.  There is a breeziness of the


s: woods and hills and a spice of the bottom-lands and


s: thickets in everything he says, and dashes of shadow


s: and sunshine over the waving wheat are in all the


s: varying expressions of his swarthy face.  The grip


s: of his hand is a thing to bet on, and the undue


s: loudness of his voice in greeting you is even lulling


s: and melodious, since unconsciously it argues for the


s: frankness of a nature that has nothing to conceal.


s: Very probably you are forced to smile, meeting the


s: old man in town, where he never seems at ease,


s: and invariably apologizes in some way for his presence,


s: saying, perhaps, by way of explanation:  "Yessir,


s: here I am, in spite o' myself.  Come in day


s: afore yisterd'y.  Boys was thrashin' on the place,


s: and the beltin' kept a-troublin' and delayin' of 'em


s: --and I was potterin' round in the way anyhow,


s: tel finally they sent me off to town to git some


s: whang-luther and ribbets, and while I was in,


s: I thought--I thought I'd jest run over and see the


s: Jedge about that Henry County matter; and as I


s: was knockin' round the court-house, first thing I


s: knowed I'll be switched to death ef they didn't pop


s: me on the jury!  And here I am, eatin' my head off


s: up here at the tavern.  Reckon, tho', the county'll


s: stand good for my expenses.  Ef hit cain't, I kin!"


s: And, with the heartiest sort of a laugh, the old man


s: jogs along, leaving you to smile till bedtime over


s: the happiness he has unconsciously contributed.


s: Another instance of the old man's humor under


s: trying circumstances was developed but a few days


s: ago.  This old man was a German citizen of an


s: inundated town in the Ohio valley.  There was much


s: of the pathetic in his experience, but the bravery


s: with which he bore his misfortunes was admirable.


s: A year ago his little home was first invaded by the


s: flood, and himself and wife, and his son's family,


s: were driven from it to the hills for safety--but the


s: old man's telling of the story can not be improved


s: upon.  It ran like this:  "Last year, ven I svwim out


s: fon dot leedle home off mine, mit my vife, unt my


s: son, his vife unt leedle girls, I dink dot's der last


s: time goot-by to dose proberty!  But afder der vater


s: is gone down, unt dry oop unt eberding, dere vas


s: yet der house dere.  Unt my friends dey sait, 'Dot's


s: all you got yet.--Vell, feex oop der house--dot's


s: someding! feex oop der house, unt you vood still


s: hatt yet a home!'  Vell, all summer I go to work,


s: unt spent me eberding unt feex der proberty.  Den


s: I got yet a morgage on der house!  Dees time here


s: der vater come again--till I vish it vas last year


s: vonce!  Unt now all I safe is my vife, unt my son


s: his vife, unt my leedle grandchilderns!  Else


s: everding is gone!  All--everyding!--Der house gone--unt--unt--der


s: old Teutonic face "melted all over in sunshiny


s: smiles," and, turning, he bent and lifted a sleepy


s: little girl from a pile of dirty bundles in the depot


s: waiting-room and went pacing up and down the


s: muddy floor, saying things in German to the child.


s: I thought the whole thing rather beautiful.  That's


s: the kind of an old man who, saying good-by to


s: his son, would lean and kiss the young man's hand,


s: as in the Dutch regions of Pennsylvania, two or


s: Mark Lemon must have known intimately and


s: loved the genteel old man of the city when the once


s: famous domestic drama of "Grandfather Whitehead"


s: was conceived.  In the play the old man--a


s: once prosperous merchant--finds a happy home in


s: the household of his son-in-law.  And here it is


s: that the gentle author has drawn at once the poem,


s: the picture, and the living proof of the old


s: Wordsworthian axiom, "The child is father to the man."


s: The old man, in his simple way, and in his great


s: love for his wilful little grandchild, is being


s: continually distracted from the grave sermons and


s: moral lessons he would read the boy.  As, for


s: instance, aggrievedly attacking the little fellow's


s: neglect of his books and his inordinate tendency


s: toward idleness and play--the culprit, in the meantime,


s: down on the floor clumsily winding his top--


s: the old man runs on something in this wise:


s: "Play! play! play!  Always play and no work, no


s: study, no lessons.  And here you are, the only child


s: of the most indulgent parents in the world--parents


s: that, proud as they are of you, would be ten times


s: prouder only to see you at your book, storing


s: your mind with useful knowledge, instead of, day


s: in, day out, frittering away your time over your


s: toys and your tops and marbles.  And even when


s: your old grandfather tries to advise you and wants


s: to help you, and is always ready and eager to assist


s: you, and all--why, what's it all amount to?  Coax


s: and beg and tease and plead with you, and yet--and


s: yet"--  (Mechanically kneeling as he speaks)--


s: "Now that's not the way to wind your top!  How


s: many more times will I have to show you!"  And


s: an instant later the old man's admonitions are


s: entirely forgotten, and his artless nature--dull now to


s: everything but the childish glee in which he shares--


s: is all the sweeter and more lovable for its simplicity.


s: And so it is, Old Man, that you are always


s: touching the very tenderest places in our hearts--


s: unconsciously appealing to our warmest sympathies,


s: and taking to yourself our purest love.  We look


s: upon your drooping figure, and we mark your tottering


s: step and trembling hand, yet a reliant something


s: in your face forbids compassion, and a something


s: in your eye will not permit us to look sorrowfully


s: on you.  And, however we may smile at your


s: quaint ways and old-school oddities of manner and


s: of speech, our merriment is ever tempered with the


s: Nosing around in an old box--packed away,


s: and lost to memory for years--an hour ago


s: I found a musty package of gilt paper, or rather,


s: a roll it was, with the green-tarnished gold of the


s: old sheet for the outer wrapper.  I picked it up


s: mechanically to toss it into some obscure corner,


s: when, carelessly lifting it by one end, a child's tin


s: whistle dropped therefrom and fell tinkling on the


s: attic floor.  It lies before me on my writing table


s: now--and so, too, does the roll entire, though now


s: a roll no longer,--for my eager fingers have unrolled


s: the gilded covering, and all its precious contents


s: Here is a scroll of ink-written music.  I don't


s: read music, but I know the dash and swing of the


s: pen that rained it on the page.  Here is a letter,


s: with the selfsame impulse and abandon in every


s: syllable; and its melody--however sweet the other


s: --is far more sweet to me.  And here are other


s: letters like it--three--five--and seven, at least.  Bob


s: wrote them from the front, and Billy kept them


s: for me when I went to join him.  Dear boy!  Dear


s: Here are some cards of bristol-board.  Ah! when


s: Bob came to these there were no blotches then.


s: What faces--what expressions!  The droll, ridiculous,


s: good-for-nothing genius, with his "sad mouth,"


s: as he called it, "upside down," laughing always--


s: at everything, at big rallies, and mass-meetings and


s: conventions, county fairs, and floral halls, booths,


s: watermelon-wagons, dancing-tents, the swing, the


s: Daguerrean-car, the "lung-barometer," and the air-


s: gun man.  Oh! what a gifted, good-for-nothing boy


s: Bob was in those old days!  And here's a picture


s: of a girlish face--a very faded photograph--even


s: fresh from "the gallery," five and twenty years ago,


s: it was a faded thing.  But the living face--how


s: bright and clear that was!--for "Doc," Bob's awful


s: name for her, was a pretty girl, and brilliant, clever,


s: lovable every way.  No wonder Bob fancied her!


s: And you could see some hint of her jaunty loveliness


s: in every fairy face he drew, and you could


s: find her happy ways and dainty tastes unconsciously


s: assumed in all he did--the books he read--the


s: poems he admired, and those he wrote; and, ringing


s: clear and pure and jubilant, the vibrant beauty


s: of her voice could clearly be defined and traced


s: through all his music.  Now, there's the happy pair


s: of them--Bob and Doc.  Make of them just whatever


s: your good fancy may dictate, but keep in mind


s: You are not at the beginning of a novel, only at


s: the threshold of one of a hundred experiences that


s: lie buried in the past, and this particular one most


s: happily resurrected by these odds and ends found


s: You see, dating away back, the contents of this


s: package, mainly, were hastily gathered together


s: after a week's visit out at the old Mills farm; the


s: gilt paper, and the whistle, and the pictures, they


s: were Billy's; the music pages, Bob's, or Doc's; the


s: letters and some other manuscripts were mine.


s: The Mills girls were great friends of Doc's, and


s: often came to visit her in town; and so Doc often


s: visited the Mills's.  This is the way that Bob first


s: got out there, and won them all, and "shaped the


s: thing" for me, as he would put it; and lastly, we


s: had lugged in Billy,--such a handy boy, you know,


s: to hold the horses on picnic excursions, and to


s: watch the carriage and the luncheon, and all that.--


s: "Yes, and," Bob would say, "such a serviceable


s: boy in getting all the fishing tackle in proper order,


s: and digging bait, and promenading in our wake up


s: and down the creek all day, with the minnow-


s: bucket hanging on his arm, don't you know!"


s: But jolly as the days were, I think jollier were


s: the long evenings at the farm.  After the supper in


s: the grove, where, when the weather permitted,


s: always stood the table ankle-deep in the cool green


s: plush of the sward; and after the lounge upon the


s: grass, and the cigars, and the new fish stories, and


s: the general invoice of the old ones, it was delectable


s: to get back to the girls again, and in the old


s: "best room" hear once more the lilt of the old


s: songs and the staccatoed laughter of the piano


s: mingling with the alto and falsetto voices of the Mills


s: girls, and the gallant soprano of the dear girl Doc.


s: This is the scene I want you to look in upon,


s: as, in fancy, I do now--and here are the materials


s: for it all, husked from the gilded roll:


s: Bob, the master, leans at the piano now, and Doc


s: is at the keys, her glad face often thrown up side-


s: wise toward his own.  His face is boyish--for there


s: is yet but the ghost of a mustache upon his lip.


s: His eyes are dark and clear, of over-size when looking


s: at you, but now their lids are drooped above


s: his violin, whose melody has, for the time, almost


s: smoothed away the upward kinkings of the corners


s: of his mouth.  And wonderfully quiet now


s: is every one, and the chords of the piano, too, are


s: low and faltering; and so, at last, the tune itself


s: swoons into the universal hush, and--Bob is rasping,


s: in its stead, the ridiculous, but marvelously


s: perfect imitation of the "priming" of a pump, while


s: Billy's hands forget the "chiggers" on the bare


s: backs of his feet, as, with clapping palms, he dances


s: round the room in ungovernable spasms of delight.


s: And then we all laugh; and Billy, taking advantage


s: of the general tumult, pulls Bob's head down and


s: whispers, "Git 'em to stay up 'way late to-night!"


s: And Bob, perhaps remembering that we go back


s: home to-morrow, winks at the little fellow and whispers,


s: "You let me manage 'em!  Stay up till broad


s: daylight if we take a notion--eh?"  And Billy


s: dances off again in newer glee, while the inspired


s: musician is plunking a banjo imitation on his


s: enchanted instrument, which is unceremoniously


s: drowned out by a circus-tune from Doc that is


s: absolutely inspiring to every one but the barefooted


s: brother, who drops back listlessly to his old position


s: on the floor and sullenly renews operations on


s: "Thought you was goin' to have pop-corn to-night


s: all so fast!" he says, doggedly, in the midst of a


s: momentary lull that has fallen on a game of whist.


s: And then the oldest Mills girl, who thinks cards stupid


s: anyhow, says:  "That's so, Billy; and we're going


s: to have it, too; and right away, for this game's


s: just ending, and I shan't submit to being bored with


s: another.  I say 'pop-corn' with Billy!  And after


s: that," she continues, rising and addressing the party


s: in general, "we must have another literary and


s: artistic tournament, and that's been in contemplation


s: and preparation long enough; so you gentlemen can


s: be pulling your wits together for the exercises, while


s: "Have you done anything toward it!" queries


s: Bob, when the girls are gone, with the alert Billy in


s: "Just an outline," I reply.  "How with you?"


s: "Clean forgot it--that is, the preparation; but I've


s: got a little old second-hand idea, if you'll all help me


s: out with it, that'll amuse us some, and tickle Billy,


s: So that's agreed upon; and while Bob produces


s: his portfolio, drawing paper, pencils and so on, I


s: turn to my note-book in a dazed way and begin


s: counting my fingers in a depth of profound abstraction,


s: from which I am barely aroused by the reappearance


s: "Goody, goody, goody!  Bob's goin' to make


s: pictures!" cries Billy, in additional transport to that


s: "Now, you girls," says Bob, gently detaching the


s: affectionate Billy from one leg and moving a chair


s: to the table, with a backward glance of intelligence


s: toward the boy,--"you girls are to help us all you


s: can, and we can all work; but, as I'll have all the


s: illustrations to do, I want you to do as many of


s: the verses as you can--that'll be easy, you know,--


s: because the work entire is just to consist of a series


s: of fool-epigrams, such as, for instance,--listen,


s: And the rest of his instructions are delivered in


s: lower tones, that the boy may not hear; and then, all


s: matters seemingly arranged, he turns to the boy with


s: --"And now, Billy, no lookin' over shoulders, you


s: know, or swinging on my chair-back while I'm at


s: work.  When the pictures are all finished, then you


s: can take a squint at 'em, and not before.  Is that all


s: "Oh! who's a-goin' to look over your shoulder--


s: only DOC."  And as the radiant Doc hastily quits


s: that very post, and dives for the offending brother,


s: he scrambles under the piano and laughs derisively.


s: And then a silence falls upon the group--a


s: gracious quiet, only intruded upon by the very juicy


s: and exuberant munching of an apple from a remote


s: fastness of the room, and the occasional thumping


s: At last I close my note-book with a half slam.


s: "That means," says Bob, laying down his pencil,


s: and addressing the girls,--"that means he's


s: concluded his poem, and that he's not pleased with it


s: in any manner, and that he intends declining to read


s: it, for that self-acknowledged reason, and that he


s: expects us to believe every affected word of his


s: "Then give us the wretched production, in all its


s: And the girls all laugh so sympathetically, and


s: Bob joins them so gently, and yet with a tone, I


s: know, that can be changed so quickly to my further


s: discomfiture, that I arise at once and read, without


s: apology or excuse, this primitive and very callow


s: poem recovered here to-day from the gilded roll:


s: My fancies--doubtless, for ventilation--


s: Slipped out in the street of "Auld Lang Syne"--


s: Were thronging the shadowy side of the street


s: The same old dreams of our boyhood's days


s: That never come true, from the vague sensation


s: Of walking asleep in the world's strange ways.


s: And there was the selfsame clock that ticked


s: From the close of dusk to the burst of morn,


s: When life-warm hands plucked the golden corn


s: And the "chany dog" on the mantel-shelf,


s: Looked just as at first, when I hugged myself


s: And down to the swing in the locust-tree,


s: Where the grass was worn from the trampled ground,


s: And where "Eck" Skinner, "Old" Carr, and three


s: Doin' "sky-scrapers," or "whirlin' round":


s: And again Bob climbed for the bluebird's nest,


s: Of Guymon's barn, where still, unguessed,


s: The old ghosts romp through the best days dead!


s: And again I gazed from the old schoolroom


s: With a wistful look, of a long June day,


s: It seemed, toward me.--And again I thought


s: Kept in after school--for a girl was caught


s: And down through the woods to the swimming-hole--


s: Where the big, white, hollow, old sycamore grows,--


s: And we never cared when the water was cold,


s: The crude production is received, I am glad to


s: note, with some expressions of favor from the company


s: though Bob, of course, must heartlessly dissipate


s: my weak delight by saying, "Well, it's certainly


s: bad enough; though," he goes on with an air


s: of deepest critical sagacity and fairness, "considered,


s: as it should be, justly, as the production of a


s: jour.-poet, why, it might be worse--that is, a little


s: "Probably," I remember saying,--"probably I


s: might redeem myself by reading you this little


s: amateurish bit of verse, enclosed to me in a letter by


s: mistake, not very long ago."  I here fish an envelope


s: from my pocket, the address of which all recognize


s: as in Bob's almost printed writing.  He smiles


s: "The date," I suggestively answer, "of your last


s: letter to our dear Doc, at boarding-school, two days


s: exactly in advance of her coming home--this veritable


s: Both Bob and Doc rush at me--but too late.  The


s: letter and contents have wholly vanished.  The


s: youngest Miss Mills quiets us--urgently distracting


s: us, in fact, by calling our attention to the immediate


s: completion of our joint production; "For now," she


s: says, "with our new reinforcement, we can, with


s: becoming diligence, soon have it ready for both printer


s: and engraver, and then we'll wake up the boy (who


s: has been fortunately slumbering for the last quarter


s: of an hour), and present to him, as designed and


s: intended, this matchless creation of our united


s: intellects."  At the conclusion of this speech we all go


s: good-humoredly to work, and at the close of half an


s: hour the tedious, but most ridiculous, task is


s: As I arrange and place in proper form here on the


s: table the separate cards-twenty-seven in number--


s: I sigh to think that I am unable to transcribe for


s: you the best part of the nonsensical work--the


s: illustrations.  All I can give is the written copy of--


s: Which was trimmed with jet bugles and crape.


s: When snatched from the home of his pride,


s: Who said,--"Though it's raining like fog


s: SOME hens might hatch more eggs than SHE did,--


s: For five miles and three-quarters around.


s: Who would haunt the saloons every night;


s: Who would say,--"Do you know wot I thinks?--


s: Who would snooze all the day in his hole,


s: Who sneered, "I suppose, when they've CAUGHT all us,


s: With one horn, of a growth so LUXURIOUS,


s: Clean through you, he was so blamed furious!


s: I'm a-preyin', you're no man o' culture!"


s: And you just bet that he COULD "chuck"--


s: And tree roots, and call it all "GOOD chuck!"


s: At last Billy is sent off to bed.  It is the prudent


s: mandate of the old folks:  But so loathfully the poor


s: child goes, Bob's heart goes, too.--Yes, Bob himself,


s: to keep the little fellow company for a while, and,


s: up there under the old rafters, in the pleasant gloom,


s: lull him to famous dreams with fairy tales.  And it


s: is during this brief absence that the youngest Mills


s: girl gives us a surprise.  She will read a poem, she


s: says, written by a very dear friend of hers who,


s: fortunately for us, is not present to prevent her.  We


s: guard door and window as she reads.  Doc says she


s: will not listen; but she does listen, and cries, too--


s: out of pure vexation, she asserts.  The rest of us,


s: however, cry just because of the apparent honesty


s: As I clasp with eager, acquisitive spans


s: My glorious treasure of beautiful hands!


s: They can coax roses to bloom in the strands


s: Of your brown tresses; and ribbons will twine,


s: And fetter the heart under such a control


s: As only the strength of my love understands--


s: My passionate love for your beautiful hands.


s: Of those beautiful hands that I love so much,


s: I seem to thrill as I then was thrilled,


s: Kissing the glove that I found unfilled--


s: When I met your gaze, and the queenly bow


s: As you said to me, laughingly, "Keep it now!" . . .


s: Kissing this ghost of your beautiful hand.


s: Pressed and caressed it and gave it a kiss


s: And said "I could die for a hand like this!"


s: And prayers were vain in their wild demands


s: For one warm touch of your beautiful hands.


s: Where you are lingering, and give me, to-night


s: My heart were soothed, and my weary brain


s: For there is no solace the world commands


s: Like the caress of your beautiful hands.


s: Violently winking at the mist that blurs my sight,


s: I regretfully awaken to the here and now.  And is


s: it possible, I sorrowfully muse, that all this glory


s: can have fled away?--that more than twenty long,


s: long years are spread between me and that happy


s: night?  And is it possible that all the dear old faces


s: --Oh, quit it! quit it!  Gather the old scraps up and


s: wad 'em back into oblivion, where they belong!


s: Yes, but be calm--be calm!  Think of cheerful


s: things.  You are not all alone.  BILLY'S living yet.


s: I know--and six feet high--and sag-shouldered--


s: and owns a tin and stove-store, and can't hear


s: And the youngest Mills girl--she's alive, too.


s: S'pose I don't know that?  I married her!


s: BOB married her.  Been in California for more


s: than fifteen years--on some blasted cattle-ranch, or


s: something,--and he's worth a half a million!  And


s: am I less prosperous with this gilded roll?


s: Not very many years ago the writer was for


s: some months stationed at South Bend, a thriving


s: little city of northern Indiana.  Its population is


s: mainly on the one side of the St. Joseph River, but


s: quite a respectable fraction thereof takes its


s: industrial way to the opposite shore, and there gains an


s: audience and a hearing in the rather imposing


s: growth and hurly-burly of its big manufactories,


s: and the consequent rapid appearance of multitudinous


s: neat cottages, tenement houses and business


s: blocks.  A stranger entering South Bend proper on


s: any ordinary day, will be at some loss to account for


s: its prosperous appearance--its flagged and bouldered


s: streets--its handsome mercantile blocks, banks, and


s: business houses generally.  Reasoning from cause to


s: effect, and seeing but a meager sprinkling of people


s: on the streets throughout the day, and these seeming,


s: for the most part, merely idlers, and in nowise


s: accessory to the evident thrift and opulence of their


s: surroundings, the observant stranger will be puzzled


s: at the situation.  But when evening comes, and the


s: outlying foundries, sewing-machine, wagon, plow,


s: and other "works," together with the paper-mills and all the


s: nameless industries--when the operations


s: of all these are suspended for the day, and the


s: workmen and workwomen loosed from labor--then,


s: as this vast army suddenly invades and overflows


s: bridge, roadway, street and lane, the startled stranger


s: will fully comprehend the why and wherefore


s: of the city's high prosperity.  And, once acquainted


s: with the people there, the fortunate sojourner will


s: find no ordinary culture and intelligence, and, as


s: certainly, he will meet with a social spirit and a


s: whole-souled heartiness that will make the place a


s: lasting memory.  The town, too, is the home of


s: many world-known people, and a host of local


s: celebrities, the chief of which latter class I found,


s: during my stay there, in the person of Tommy Stafford,


s: or "The Wild Irishman" as everybody called


s: "Talk of odd fellows and eccentric characters,"


s: said Major Blowney, my employer, one afternoon,


s: "you must see our 'Wild Irishman' here before you


s: say you've yet found the queerest, brightest, cleverest


s: chap in all your travels.  What d'ye say,


s: Stockford?"  And the Major paused in his work of


s: charging cartridges for his new breech-loading shotgun


s: and turned to await his partner's response.


s: Stockford, thus addressed, paused above the


s: shield-sign he was lettering, slowly smiling as he


s: dipped and trailed his pencil through the ivory black


s: upon a bit of broken glass and said, in his deliberate,


s: half absent-minded way,--"Is it Tommy you're telling


s: him about?" and then, with a gradual broadening


s: of the smile, he went on, "Well, I should say so.


s: Tommy!  What's come of the fellow, anyway?  I


s: haven't seen him since his last bout with the mayor,


s: on his trial for shakin' up that fast-horse man."


s: "The fast-horse man got just exactly what he


s: needed, too," said the genial Major, laughing, and


s: mopping his perspiring brow.  "The fellow was


s: barkin' up the wrong stump when he tackled


s: Tommy!  Got beat in the trade, at his own game,


s: you know, and wound up by an insult that no Irishman


s: would take; and Tommy just naturally wore


s: out the hall carpet of the old hotel with him!"


s: "And then collared and led him to the mayor's


s: "Oh, he did!" said the Major, with a dash of


s: pride in the confirmation; "that's Tommy all over!"


s: "Funny trial, wasn't it?" continued the ruminating


s: "Wasn't it though?" laughed the Major.  "The


s: porter's testimony:  You see, he was for Tommy,


s: of course, and on examination testified that the


s: horseman struck Tommy first.  And here Tommy


s: broke in with:  'He's a-meanin' well, yer Honor, but


s: he's lyin' to ye--he's lyin' to ye.  No livin' man iver


s: struck me first--nor last, nayther, for the matter o'


s: continued the Major, in a like imminent state of


s: "Yes, and he said if he struck him first,"


s: supplemented Stockford, "he'd like to know why the


s: horseman was 'wearin' all the black eyes, and the


s: blood, and the boomps on that head of um!'  And


s: it's that talk that got him off with so light a fine!"


s: "As it always does," said the Major, coming to


s: himself abruptly and looking at his watch.  "Stock,


s: you say you're not going along with our duck-shooting


s: party this time?  The old Kankakee is just lousy


s: "Can't go possibly," said Stockford, "not on


s: account of the work at all, but the folks ain't just


s: as well as I'd like to see them, and I'll stay here till


s: they're better.  Next time I'll try and be ready for


s: "Of course!  Got to have 'The Wild Irishman'


s: with us!  I'm going around to find him now."  Then


s: turning to me the Major continued, "Suppose you


s: get on your coat and hat and come along?  It's the


s: best chance you'll ever have to meet Tommy.  It's


s: late anyhow, and Stockford'll get along without you.


s: "Certainly," said Stockford; "go ahead.  And you


s: can take him ducking, too, if he wants to go."


s: "But he doesn't want to go--and won't go,"


s: replied the Major with a commiserative glance at me.


s: "Says he doesn't know a duck from a poll-parrot--


s: nor how to load a shotgun--and couldn't hit a house


s: if he were inside of it and the door shut.  Admits


s: that he nearly killed his uncle once, on the other side


s: of a tree, with a squirrel runnin' down it.  Don't


s: When I reached the street with the genial Major,


s: he gave me this advice:  "Now, when you meet Tommy, you mustn't


s: and you mustn't believe, because he talks loud, and


s: in italics every other word, that he wants to do all


s: the talking and won't be interfered with.  That's the


s: way he's apt to strike folks at first--but it's their


s: mistake, not his.  Talk back to him--controvert him


s: whenever he's aggressive in the utterance of his


s: opinions, and if you're only honest in the announcement


s: of your own ideas and beliefs, he'll like you all


s: the better for standing by them.  He's quick-tempered,


s: and perhaps a trifle sensitive, so share your


s: greater patience with him, and he'll pay you back by


s: fighting for you at the drop of the hat.  In short, he's


s: as nearly typical of his gallant country's brave,


s: impetuous, fun-loving race as one man can be."


s: "Not at all.  There's the trouble.  If he'd only


s: quarrel there'd be no harm done.  Quarreling's


s: cheap, and Tommy's extravagant.  A big blacksmith


s: here, the other day, kicked some boy out of his


s: shop, and Tommy, on his cart, happened to be passing


s: at the time; and he just jumped off without a


s: word, and went in and worked on that fellow for


s: about three minutes, with such disastrous results that


s: they couldn't tell his shop from a slaughter-house;


s: paid an assault and battery fine, and gave the boy a


s: dollar besides, and the whole thing was a positive


s: luxury to him.  But I guess we'd better drop the


s: subject, for here's his cart, and here's Tommy.  Hi!


s: there, you 'Fardown' Irish Mick!" called the Major,


s: in affected antipathy, "been out raiding the honest


s: We had halted at a corner grocery and produce


s: store, as I took it, and the smooth-faced, shaven-


s: headed man in woolen shirt, short vest, and suspenderless


s: trousers so boisterously addressed by the


s: Major, was just lifting from the back of his cart


s: "Arrah! ye blasted Kerryonian!" replied the


s: handsome fellow, depositing the coop on the curb


s: and straightening his tall, slender figure; "I were


s: jist thinkin' of yez and the ducks, and here ye come


s: quackin' into the prisence of r'yalty, wid yer canvas-


s: back suit upon ye and the schwim-skins bechuxt yer


s: toes!  How air yez, anyhow--and air we startin' for


s: "We're to start just as soon as we get the boys


s: together," said the Major, shaking hands.  "The


s: crowd's to be at Andrews' by four, and it's fully that


s: now; so come on at once.  We'll go 'round by Munson's


s: and have Hi send a boy to look after your


s: horse.  Come; I want to introduce my friend


s: here to you, and we'll all want to smoke and jabber


s: a little in appropriate seclusion.  Come on."  And


s: the impatient Major had linked arms with his hesitating


s: ally and myself, and was turning the corner


s: "It's an hour's work I have yet wid the squawkers,"


s: mildly protested Tommy, still hanging back


s: and stepping a trifle high; "but, as one Irishman


s: would say til another, 'Ye're wrong, but I'm wid


s: And five minutes later the three of us had joined


s: a very jolly party in a snug back room, with


s: With portraitures of huntsman, hawk, and hound,


s: and where, as well, drifted over the olfactory


s: intelligence a certain subtle, warm-breathed aroma, that


s: genially combated the chill and darkness of the day


s: without, and, resurrecting long-dead Christmases,


s: brimmed the grateful memory with all comfortable


s: A dozen hearty voices greeted the appearance of


s: Tommy and the Major, the latter adroitly pushing


s: the jovial Irishman to the front, with a mock-heroic


s: introduction to the general company, at the conclusion


s: of which Tommy, with his hat tucked under


s: his left elbow, stood bowing with a grace of pose


s: and presence Lord Chesterfield might have applauded.


s: "Gintlemen," said Tommy, settling back upon his


s: heels and admiringly contemplating the group;


s: "gintlemen, I congratu-late yez wid a pride that


s: shoves the thumbs o' me into the arrum-holes of me


s: weshkit!  At the inshtigation of the bowld O'Blowney--


s: axin' the gintleman's pardon--I am here wid


s: no silver tongue of illoquence to para-lyze yez, but


s: I am prisent, as has been ripresinted, to jine wid yez


s: in a stupendous waste of gunpowder, and duck-


s: shot, and 'high-wines,' and ham sandwiches, upon


s: the silvonian banks of the ragin' Kankakee, where


s: the 'di-dipper' tips ye good-by wid his tail, and the


s: wild loon skoots like a sky-rocket for his exiled


s: home in the alien dunes of the wild morass--or, as


s: Tommy Moore so illegantly describes the blashted


s: 'Away to the dizhmal shwamp he spheeds--


s: if iver he arrives back safe into civilization again--


s: and I've been in the poultry business long enough to


s: know the private opinion and personal integrity of


s: ivery fowl that flies the air or roosts on poles.  But,


s: changin' the subject of my few small remarks here,


s: and thankin' yez wid an overflowin' heart but a dhry


s: tongue, I have the honor to propose, gintlemen, long


s: life and health to ivery mother's son o' yez, and


s: success to the 'Duck-hunters of Kankakee.' "


s: "The duck-hunters of the Kankakee!" chorused


s: the elated party in such musical uproar that for a


s: full minute the voice of the enthusiastic Major


s: who was trying to say something--could not be


s: "I want to propose that theme--'The Duck-


s: hunters of the Kankakee', for one of Tommy's


s: improvisations.  I move we have a song now from


s: "Hurrah!  Hurrah!  A song from Tommy," cried


s: the crowd.  "Make us up a song, and put us all into


s: it!  A song from Tommy!  A song!  A song!"


s: There was a queer light in the eye of the


s: Irishman.  I observed him narrowly--expectantly.  Often


s: I had read of this phenomenal art of improvised


s: ballad-singing, but had always remained a little


s: skeptical in regard to the possibility of such a feat.


s: Even in the notable instances of this gift as


s: displayed by the very clever Theodore Hook, I had


s: always half suspected some prior preparation--some


s: adroit forecasting of the sequence that seemed the


s: instant inspiration of his witty verses.  Here was


s: evidently to be a test example, and I was all alert


s: The clamor had subsided, and Tommy had drawn


s: a chair near to and directly fronting the Major's.


s: His right hand was extended, closely grasping the


s: right hand of his friend which he scarce perceptibly,


s: though measuredly, lifted and let fall throughout the


s: length of all the curious performance.  The voice


s: was not unmusical, nor was the quaint old ballad-air


s: adopted by the singer unlovely in the least; simply


s: a monotony was evident that accorded with the


s: levity and chance-finish of the improvisation--and


s: that the song was improvised on the instant I am


s: certain--though in nowise remarkable, for other


s: reasons, in rhythmic worth or finish.  And while his


s: smiling auditors all drew nearer, and leant, with


s: parted lips to catch every syllable, the words of the


s: strange melody trailed unhesitatingly into the line;


s: Whin the sunshine had no chance at all--


s: " 'Twas in South Bend, that famous town,


s: Whilst I were a-strollin' round and round,


s: 'It's a hunt we'll take on the Kankakee!' "


s: Tommy!" cried an enthusiastic voice between


s: verses.  "Now give it to the Major!"  And the song


s: And a half-dozen jubilant palms patted the


s: Major's shoulders, and his ruddy, good-natured


s: face beamed with delight.  "Now give it to the rest


s: of 'em, Tommy!" chuckled the Major.  And the


s: And Barney Pince, at 'The Shamrock' bar--


s: There's Barney Pinch, wid his heart so true;


s: And the Andrews Brothers they'll go too."


s: Andrews; "you must give 'the Andrews Brothers' a


s: better advertisement than that!  Turn us on a full


s: "Make 'em pay for it if you do!" said the Major


s: in an undertone.  And Tommy promptly amended.--


s: "O, the Andrews Brothers, they'll be there,


s: They'll treat us here on fine champagne,


s: And whin we're there they'll treat us again."


s: The applause here was vociferous, and only


s: discontinued when a box of Havanas stood open on the


s: table.  During the momentary lull thus occasioned,


s: I caught the Major's twinkling eyes glancing evasively


s: toward me, as he leaned whispering some further


s: instructions to Tommy, who again took up his


s: desultory ballad, while I turned and fled for the


s: street, catching, however, as I went, and high above


s: the laughter of the crowd, the satire of this quatrain


s: For to curl his hair in the barber shop."


s: It was after six when I reached the hotel, but I


s: had my hair trimmed before I went in to supper.


s: The style of trimming adopted then I still rigidly


s: adhere to, and call it "the Tommy Stafford stubble-


s: Ten days passed before I again saw the Major.


s: Immediately upon his return--it was late afternoon


s: when I heard of it--I determined to take my


s: evening walk out the long street toward his pleasant


s: home and call on him there.  This I did, and


s: found him in a wholesome state of fatigue, slippers


s: and easy chair, enjoying his pipe on the piazza.  Of


s: course, he was overflowing with happy reminiscences


s: boats--ambushes--decoys, and tramp, and camp,


s: and so on, without end;--but I wanted to hear him


s: talk of "The Wild Irishman"--Tommy; and I think,


s: too, now, that the sagacious Major secretly read my


s: desires all the time.  To be utterly frank with the


s: reader I will admit that I not only think the Major


s: divined my interest in Tommy, but I know he did;


s: for at last, as though reading my very thoughts, he


s: abruptly said, after a long pause, in which he


s: knocked the ashes from his pipe and refilled and


s: lighted it:--"Well, all I know of 'The Wild Irishman'


s: I can tell you in a very few words--that is,


s: if you care at all to listen?"  And the crafty old


s: "About forty years ago," resumed the Major


s: placidly, "in the little, old, unheard-of town


s: Tommy Stafford was fortunate enough--despite


s: the contrary opinion on that point of his wretchedly


s: poor parents--to be born.  And here, again, as I


s: advised you the other day, you must be prepared for


s: constant surprises in the study of Tommy's character."


s: "Go on," I said; "I'm prepared for anything."


s: The Major smiled profoundly and continued:--


s: "Fifteen years ago, when he came to America--


s: and the Lord only knows how he got the passage--


s: money--he brought his widowed mother with him


s: here, and has supported, and is still supporting her.


s: Besides," went on the still secretly smiling Major,


s: "the fellow has actually found time, through all his


s: adversities, to pick up quite a smattering of education,


s: "Poor fellow!" I broke in sympathizingly, "what


s: a pity it is that he couldn't have had such advantages


s: earlier in life," and as I recalled the broad brogue


s: of the fellow, together with his careless dress,


s: recognizing beneath it all the native talent and


s: brilliancy of a mind of most uncommon worth, I could


s: not restrain a deep sigh of compassion and regret.


s: The Major was leaning forward in the gathering


s: dusk, and evidently studying my own face, the


s: expression of which, at that moment, was very grave


s: and solemn, I am sure.  He suddenly threw himself


s: backward in his chair, in an uncontrollable burst of


s: laughter.  "Oh, I just can't keep it up any longer,"


s: "Keep what up?" I queried, in a perfect maze of


s: bewilderment and surprise.  "Keep what up?" I


s: "Why, all this twaddle, farce, travesty and by-


s: play regarding Tommy!  You know I warned you,


s: over and over, and you mustn't blame me for the


s: deception.  I never thought you'd take it so in


s: earnest!" and here the jovial Major again went into


s: "But I don't understand a word of it all," I cried,


s: half frenzied with the gnarl and tangle of the whole


s: affair.  "What 'twaddle, farce and by-play,' is it,


s: anyhow?"  And in my vexation, I found myself on


s: my feet and striding nervously up and down the


s: paved walk that joined the street with the piazza,


s: pausing at last and confronting the Major almost


s: petulantly.  "Please explain," I said, controlling my


s: The Major arose.  "Your striding up and down


s: there reminds me that a little stroll on the street


s: might do us both good," he said.  "Will you wait


s: He rejoined me a moment later, and we passed


s: through the open gate; and saying, "Let's go down


s: this way," he took my arm and turned into a street,


s: where, cooling as the dusk was, the thick maples


s: lining the walk seemed to throw a special shade of


s: "What I meant was"--began the Major in a low


s: serious voice,--"What I meant was--simply this:


s: Our friend Tommy, though the truest Irishman in


s: the world, is a man quite the opposite every way of


s: the character he has appeared to you.  All that rich


s: brogue of his is assumed.  Though he was poor, as I


s: told you, when he came here, his native quickness,


s: and his marvelous resources, tact, judgment, business


s: qualities--all have helped him to the equivalent


s: of a liberal education.  His love of the humorous


s: and the ridiculous is unbounded; but he has serious


s: moments, as well, and at such times is as dignified


s: and refined in speech and manner as any man you'd


s: find in a thousand.  He is a good speaker, can stir


s: a political convention to highest excitement when he


s: gets fired up; and can write an article for the press


s: that goes spang to the spot.  He gets into a great


s: many personal encounters of a rather undignified


s: character; but they are almost invariably bred of his


s: innate interest in the 'under dog,' and the fire and


s: My companion had paused here, and was looking


s: through some printed slips in his pocketbook.  "I


s: wanted you to see some of the fellow's articles in


s: print, but I have nothing of importance here only


s: some of his 'doggerel,' as he calls it, and you've had


s: a sample of that.  But here's a bit of the upper spirit


s: of the man--and still another that you should hear


s: him recite.  You can keep them both if you care to.


s: The boys all fell in love with that last one,


s: particularly, hearing his rendition of it.  So we had a


s: lot printed, and I have two or three left.  Put these


s: two in your pocket and read them at your leisure."


s: But I read them there and then, as eagerly, too,


s: as I append them here and now.  The first is


s: "Whatever the weather may be," says he--


s: It's plaze, if ye will, an' I'll say me say,--


s: Wud the weather be changing because ye cried,


s: The best is to make your own summer," says he,


s: It's the songs ye sing, an' the smiles ye wear,


s: That's a-makin' the sun shine everywhere;


s: An' the world of gloom is a world of glee,


s: Wid the bird in the bush, an' the bud in the tree,


s: An' the fruit on the stim of the bough," says he,


s: Ye can bring the Spring, wid its green an' gold,


s: An' the grass in the grove where the snow lies cold;


s: An' ye'll warm yer back, wid a smiling face,


s: As ye sit at yer heart, like an owld fireplace,


s: An' toast the toes o' yer sowl," says he,


s: "Now," said the Major, peering eagerly above my


s: shoulder, "go on with the next.  To my mind, it is


s: even better than the first.  A type of character you'll


s: recognize.--The same 'broth of a boy,' only


s: It's Chairley Burke's in town, b'ys!  He's down til "Jamesy's


s: Wid a bran'-new shave upon 'um, an' the fhwhuskers aff his face;


s: He's quit the Section-Gang last night, and yez can chalk it down


s: There's goin' to be the divil's toime, sence Chairley Burke's in


s: It's treatin' iv'ry b'y he is, an' poundin' on the bar


s: Till iv'ry man he's drinkin' wid must shmoke a foine cigar;


s: An' Missus Murphy's little Kate, that's coomin' there for beer,


s: Can't pay wan cint the bucketful, the whilst that Chairley's


s: He's joompin' oor the tops o' sthools, the both forninst an'


s: He'll lave yez pick the blessed flure, an' walk the straightest


s: He's liftin' barrels wid his teeth, and singin "Garry Owen,"


s: Till all the house be strikin' hands, sence Chairley Burke's in


s: The Road-Yaird hands coomes dhroppin' in, an' niver goin' back;


s: An' there's two freights upon the switch--the wan on aither


s: An' Mr. Gearry, from The Shops, he's mad enough to swear,


s: An' durstn't spake a word but grin, the whilst that Chairley's


s: Och! Chairley! Chairley! Chairley Burke! ye divil, wid yer ways


s: O' dhrivin' all the throubles aff, these dhark an' ghloomy days!


s: Ohone! that it's meself, wid all the graifs I have to dhrown,


s: Must lave me pick to resht a bit, sence Chairley Burke's in


s: "Before we turn back, now," said the smiling


s: Major, as I stood lingering over the indefinable


s: humor of the last refrain, "before we turn back I


s: want to show you something eminently characteristic.


s: As he spoke I looked up, first to observe that we


s: had paused before a handsome square brick residence,


s: centering a beautiful smooth lawn, its emerald


s: only littered with the light gold of the earliest


s: autumn leaves.  On either side of the trim walk


s: that led up from the gate to the carved stone


s: ballusters of the broad piazza, with its empty easy


s: chairs, were graceful vases, frothing over with


s: late blossoms, and wreathed with laurel-looking


s: vines; and, luxuriantly lacing the border of the


s: pave that turned the farther corner of the house,


s: blue, white and crimson, pink and violet, went


s: fading away in perspective as my gaze followed the


s: "Here, come a little farther.  Now do you see


s: Yes, I could make out a figure in the deepening


s: dusk--the figure of a man on the back stoop--a


s: tired-looking man, in his shirt-sleeves, who sat upon


s: a low chair--no, not a chair--an empty box.  He


s: was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees,


s: and the hands dropped limp.  He was smoking,


s: too, I could barely see his pipe, and but for the


s: odor of very strong tobacco, would not have known


s: he had a pipe.  Why does the master of the house


s: permit his servants so to desecrate this beautiful


s: "Well, shall we go now?" said the Major.


s: I turned silently and we retraced our steps.  I


s: think neither of us spoke for the distance of a


s: "Guess you didn't know the man there on the


s: "I hardly thought you would, and besides the


s: poor fellow's tired, and it was best not to disturb


s: "Oh," said I inquiringly, "he's employed there in


s: "I certainly do.  He owns it, and made every


s: cent of the money that paid for it!" said the Major


s: proudly.  "That's why I wanted you particularly


s: to note that 'eminent characteristic' I spoke of.


s: Tommy could just as well be sitting, with a fine


s: cigar, on the front piazza in an easy chair, as, with


s: his dhudeen, on the back porch, on an empty box,


s: where every night you'll find him.  It's the


s: unconscious dropping back into the old ways of his


s: father, and his father's father, and his father's


s: father's father.  In brief, he sits there the poor


s: lorn symbol of the long oppression of his race."


s: JOHN B. McKINNEY, Attorney and Counselor


s: at Law, as his sign read, was, for many reasons,


s: a fortunate man.  For many other reasons he was


s: not.  He was chiefly fortunate in being, as certain


s: opponents often strove witheringly to designate


s: him, "the son of his father," since that sound old


s: gentleman was the wealthiest farmer in that section;


s: with but one son and heir to supplant him, in


s: time, in the role of "county god," and haply


s: perpetuate the prouder title of "the biggest taxpayer on


s: the assessment list."  And this fact, too, fortunate


s: as it would seem, was doubtless the indirect occasion


s: of a liberal percentage of all John's misfortunes.


s: From his earliest school-days in the little


s: college, the influence of his father's wealth invited


s: his procrastination, humored its results, encouraged


s: the laxity of his ambition, "and even now," as John


s: used, in bitter irony, to put it, "it is aiding and


s: abetting me in the ostensible practise of my chosen


s: profession, a listless, aimless undetermined man of


s: forty, and a confirmed bachelor at that!"  At the


s: utterance of his self-depreciating statement, John generally


s: jerked his legs down from the top of his


s: desk; and rising and kicking his chair back to the


s: wall he would stump around his littered office till


s: the manila carpet steamed with dust.  Then he


s: would wildly break away, seeking refuge either in


s: the open street, or in his room at the old-time


s: tavern, The Eagle House, "where," he would say, "I


s: have lodged and boarded, I do solemnly asseverate,


s: for a long, unbroken, middle-aged eternity of ten


s: years, and can yet assert, in the words of the more


s: fortunately-dying Webster, that 'I still live'!"


s: Extravagantly satirical as he was at times, John


s: had always an indefinable drollery about him that


s: made him agreeable company to his friends, at


s: least; and such an admiring friend he had constantly


s: at hand in the person of Bert Haines.  Both


s: were Bohemians in natural tendency, and, though


s: John was far in Bert's advance in point of age, he


s: found the young man "just the kind of a fellow to


s: have around;" while Bert, in turn, held his senior


s: in profound esteem--looked up to him, in fact, and


s: even in his eccentricities strove to pattern himself


s: after him.  And so it was, when summer days were


s: dull and tedious, these two could muse and doze the


s: hours away together; and when the nights were long,


s: and dark, and deep, and beautiful, they could drift


s: out in the noonlight of the stars, and with "the soft


s: complaining flute" and "warbling lute," "lay the


s: pipes," as John would say, for their enduring


s: popularity with the girls!  And it was immediately


s: subsequent to one of these romantic excursions, when


s: the belated pair, at two o'clock in the morning, had


s: skulked up a side stairway of the old hotel, and


s: gained John's room, with nothing more serious happening


s: than Bert falling over a trunk and smashing


s: his guitar,--just after such a night of romance and


s: adventure it was that, in the seclusion of John's


s: room, Bert had something of especial import to


s: "Mack," he said, as that worthy anathematized


s: a spiteful match, and then sucked his finger.


s: "Blast the all-fired old torch!" said John, wrestling


s: with the lamp-flue, and turning on a welcome flame


s: at last.  "Well, you said 'Mack'!  Why don't you


s: go on?  And don't bawl at the top of your lungs,


s: either.  You've already succeeded in waking every


s: boarder in the house with that guitar, and you want


s: to make amends now by letting them go to sleep


s: "But my dear fellow," said Bert with forced


s: calmness, "you're the fellow that's making all the


s: "Why, you howling dervish!" interrupted John,


s: with a feigned air of pleased surprise and


s: admiration.  "But let's drop controversy.  Throw the


s: fragments of your guitar in the wood-box there, and


s: "What I was going to say was this," said Bert,


s: with a half-desperate enunciation; "I'm getting


s: tired of this way of living--clean, dead-tired, and


s: "Oh, yes!" exclaimed John, with a towering


s: disdain, "you needn't go any further!  I know just


s: what malady is throttling you.  It's reform--reform!


s: You're going to 'turn over a new leaf,' and


s: all that, and sign the pledge, and quit cigars, and


s: go to work, and pay your debts, and gravitate back


s: into Sunday-school, where you can make love to


s: the preacher's daughter under the guise of religion,


s: and desecrate the sanctity of the innermost pale of


s: the church by confessions at Class of your 'thorough


s: "No, but I'm going to do nothing of the sort,"


s: interrupted Bert resentfully.  "What I mean--if


s: you'll let me finish--is, I'm getting too old to be


s: eternally undignifying myself with this 'singing of


s: midnight strains under Bonnybell's window-panes,'


s: and too old to be keeping myself in constant


s: humiliation and expense by the borrowing and stringing


s: up of old guitars, together with the breakage of the


s: same, and the general wear-and-tear on a constitution


s: that is slowly being sapped to its foundations


s: by exposure in the night-air and the dew."


s: "And while you receive no further compensation


s: in return," said John, "than, perhaps, the coy turning


s: up of a lamp at an upper casement where the


s: jasmine climbs; or an exasperating patter of


s: invisible palms; or a huge dank wedge of fruit-cake


s: shoved at you by the old man, through a crack in


s: "Yes, and I'm going to have my just reward, is


s: what I mean," said Bert, "and exchange the lover's


s: life for the benedict's.  Going to hunt out a good


s: sensible girl and marry her."  And as the young


s: man concluded this desperate avowal he jerked the


s: bow of his cravat into a hard knot, kicked his hat


s: under the bed, and threw himself on the sofa like


s: John stared at him with absolute compassion.


s: "Poor devil," he said half musingly, "I know just


s: Old churchyards stuffed with buried crimes,


s: "Oh, here!" exclaimed the wretched Bert, jumping


s: to his feet; "let up on that dismal recitative.  It


s: "Then you 'let up' on that suicidal talk of


s: marrying," replied John, "and all that harangue of


s: incoherency about your growing old.  Why, my dear


s: fellow, you're at least a dozen years my junior,


s: and look at me!" and John glanced at himself in the


s: glass with a feeble pride, noting the gray sparseness


s: of his side-hair, and its plaintive dearth on


s: top.  "Of course I've got to admit," he continued,


s: "that my hair is gradually evaporating; but for all


s: that, I'm 'still in the ring,' don't you know; as


s: young in society, for the matter of that, as yourself!


s: And this is just the reason why I don't want


s: you to blight every prospect in your life by marrying


s: at your age--especially a woman--I mean the


s: kind of woman you'd be sure to fancy at your age."


s: "Didn't I say 'a good sensible girl' was the kind


s: "Oh!" exclaimed John, "you've selected her,


s: then?--and without one word to me!" he ended,


s: "Well, hang it all!" said Bert impatiently; "I


s: knew how YOU were, and just how you'd talk me


s: out of it; and I made up my mind that for once, at


s: least, I'd follow the dictations of a heart that--


s: however capricious in youthful frivolities--should


s: beat, in manhood, loyal to itself and loyal to its


s: "Go it!  Fire away!  Farewell, vain world!"


s: exclaimed the excited John.--"Trade your soul off for


s: a pair of ear-bobs and a button-hook--a hank of


s: jute hair and a box of lily-white!  I've buried not


s: less than ten old chums this way, and here's another


s: "But you've got no REASON about you," began


s: "And so do _I_ 'want to,' " broke in John finally,


s: --"I want to get some sleep.--So 'register' and


s: come to bed.--And lie up on edge, too, when you


s: DO come--'cause this old catafalque-of-a-bed is just


s: about as narrow as your views of single blessedness!


s: Peace!  Not another word!  Pile in!  Pile


s: in!  I'm three-parts sick, anyhow, and I want


s: It was a bright morning when the slothful John


s: was aroused by a long vociferous pounding on the


s: door.  He started up in bed to find himself alone--


s: the victim of his wrathful irony having evidently


s: risen and fled away while his pitiless tormentor


s: slept--"Doubtless to accomplish at once that


s: nefarious intent as set forth by his unblushing


s: confession of last night," mused the miserable John.


s: And he ground his fingers in the corners of his


s: swollen eyes, and leered grimly in the glass at the


s: feverish orbs, blood-shot, blurred and aching.


s: The pounding on the door continued.  John


s: looked at his watch; it was only eight o'clock.


s: "Hi, there!" he called viciously.  "What do you


s: mean, anyhow?" he went on, elevating his voice


s: again; "shaking a man out of bed when he's just


s: "I mean that you're going to get up; that's what!"


s: replied a firm female voice.  "It's eight o'clock, and I


s: want to put your room in order; and I'm not going


s: to wait all day about it, either!  Get up and go


s: down to your breakfast, and let me have the room!"


s: And the clamor at the door was industriously renewed.


s: "Say!" called John querulously, hurrying on his


s: "There's no 'say' about it!" responded the


s: determined voice:  "I've heard about you and your


s: ways around this house, and I'm not going to put


s: up with it!  You'll not lie in bed till high noon


s: when I've got to keep your room in proper order!"


s: "Oh, ho!" bawled John intelligently: "reckon


s: you're the new invasion here?  Doubtless you're


s: that girl that's been hanging up the new window-


s: blinds that won't roll, and disguising the pillows


s: with clean slips, and hennin' round among my


s: books and papers on the table here, and aging me


s: generally till I don't know my own handwriting by


s: the time I find it!  Oh, yes, you're going to


s: revolutionize things here; you're going to introduce


s: promptness, and system, and order.  See you've


s: even filled the wash-pitcher and tucked two starched


s: towels through the handle.  Haven't got any tin


s: towels, have you?  I rather like this new soap, too!


s: So solid and durable, you know; warranted not to


s: raise a lather.  Might as well wash one's hands with


s: And as John's voice grumbled away into the


s: sullen silence again, the determined voice without


s: responded:  "Oh, you can growl away to your


s: heart's content, Mr. McKinney, but I want you


s: to understand distinctly that I'm not going to humor


s: you in any of your old bachelor, sluggardly,


s: slovenly ways, and whims and notions.  And I


s: want you to understand, too, that I'm not hired


s: help in this house, nor a chambermaid, nor anything


s: of the kind.  I'm the landlady here; and I'll give you


s: just ten minutes more to get down to your breakfast,


s: or you'll not get any--that's all!"  And as


s: the reversed cuff John was in the act of buttoning


s: slid from his wrist and rolled under the dresser, he


s: heard a stiff rustling of starched muslin flouncing


s: past the door, and the quick italicized patter of


s: "Look here," said John to the bright-faced boy


s: in the hotel office, a half hour later.  "It seems the


s: house here's been changing hands again."


s: "Yes, sir," said the boy, closing the cigar case,


s: and handing him a lighted match.  "Well, the new


s: landlord, whoever he is," continued John, patronizingly,


s: "is a good one.  Leastwise, he knows what's


s: The boy laughed timidly,--"It ain't a 'landlord,'


s: though--it's a landlady; it's my mother."


s: "Ah," said John, dallying with the change the


s: boy had pushed toward him.  "Your mother, eh?


s: "And what's this for?" abruptly asked John,


s: "That's your change," said the boy:  "You got


s: three for a quarter, and gave me a half."


s: "Well, YOU just keep it," said John, sliding back


s: the change.  "It's for good luck, you know, my boy.


s: Same as drinking your long life and prosperity.


s: And, oh yes, by the way, you may tell your mother


s: I'll have a friend to dinner with me to-day."


s: "Yes, sir, and thank you, sir," said the beaming


s: "Handsome boy!" mused John, as he walked


s: down street.  "Takes that from his father, though,


s: Upon his office desk John found a hastily written


s: note.  It was addressed in the well-known hand of


s: his old chum.  He eyed the missive apprehensively,


s: and there was a positive pathos in his voice as he


s: said aloud, "It's our divorce.  I feel it!"  The note,


s: headed, "At the Office, Four in Morning," ran like


s: "Dear Mack--I left you slumbering so soundly


s: that, by noon, when you waken, I hope, in your


s: refreshed state, you will look more tolerantly on my


s: intentions as partially confided to you this night.  I


s: will not see you here again to say good-by.  I


s: wanted to, but was afraid to 'rouse the sleeping


s: lion.'  I will not close my eyes to-night--fact is, I


s: haven't time.  Our serenade at Josie's was a


s: prearranged signal by which she is to be ready and at


s: the station for the five morning train.  You may


s: remember the lighting of three consecutive matches


s: at her window before the igniting of her lamp.


s: That meant, 'Thrice dearest one, I'll meet thee at


s: the depot at four-thirty sharp.'  So, my dear Mack,


s: this is to inform you that, even as you read, Josie


s: and I have eloped.  It is all the old man's fault, yet


s: I forgive him.  Hope he'll return the favor.  Josie


s: predicts he will, inside of a week--or two weeks


s: anyhow.  Good-by, Mack, old boy; and let a fellow


s: down as easy as you can.  Affectionately,


s: "Heavens!" exclaimed John, stifling the note in


s: his hand and stalking tragically around the room.


s: "Can it be possible that I have nursed a frozen


s: viper?  An ingrate?  A wolf in sheep's clothing?


s: "Was you calling me, sir?" asked a voice at the


s: "No!" thundered John; "Quit my sight! get out


s: of my way!  No, no, Thompson, I don't mean


s: that," he called after him.  "Here's a half-dollar


s: for you, and I want you to lock up the office, and


s: tell anybody that wants to see me that I've been


s: set upon, and sacked and assassinated in cold blood;


s: and I've fled to my father's in the country, and am


s: lying there in the convulsions of dissolution, babbling


s: of green fields and running brooks, and thirsting


s: for the life of every woman that comes in gunshot!"


s: than a man in the strength and pride of his prime,


s: he crept down into the street again, and thence back


s: Dejectedly and painfully climbing to his room, he


s: encountered, on the landing above, a little woman


s: in a jaunty dusting-cap and a trim habit of crisp


s: muslin.  He tried to evade her, but in vain.  She


s: looked him squarely in the face--occasioning him


s: the dubious impression of either needing shaving


s: very badly, or having egg-stains on his chin.


s: "You're the gentleman in Number II, I believe?


s: "Mr. McKinney is your name, I think," she


s: queried, with a pretty elevation of the eyebrows.


s: "Yes, ma'am," said John rather abjectly.  "You


s: see, ma'am--But I beg pardon," he went on


s: stammeringly, and with a very awkward bow--"I beg


s: "You are addressing the new landlady," she


s: interpolated pleasantly.  "Mrs. Miller is my name.  I


s: think we should be friends, Mr. McKinney, since I


s: hear that you are one of the oldest patrons of the


s: "Thank you--thank you!" said John, completely


s: embarrassed.  "Yes, indeed!--ha, ha.  Oh, yes--


s: yes--really, we must be quite old friends, I assure


s: "Mrs. Miller," smilingly prompted the little


s: "Yes, ah, yes,--Mrs. Miller.  Lovely morning,


s: Mrs. Miller," said John, edging past her and backing


s: But as Mrs. Miller was laughing outright, for


s: some mysterious reason, and gave no affirmation


s: in response to his proposition as to the quality of


s: the weather, John, utterly abashed and nonplused,


s: darted into his room and closed the door, "Deucedly


s: extraordinary woman!" he thought; "wonder


s: He remained locked in his room till the dinner-


s: hour; and, when he promptly emerged for that occasion,


s: there was a very noticeable improvement in


s: his personal appearance, in point of dress, at least,


s: though there still lingered about his smoothly-


s: shaven features a certain haggard, care-worn,


s: Next his own at the table he found a chair tilted


s: forward, as though in reservation for some honored


s: guest.  What did it mean?  Oh, he remembered


s: now.  Told the boy to tell his mother he would have


s: a friend to dine with him.  Bert--and, blast the fellow!--


s: was, doubtless, dining then with a far preferable


s: companion--his wife--in a palace-car on the


s: P., C. & St. L., a hundred miles away.  The thought


s: was maddening.  Of course, now, the landlady


s: would have material for a new assault.  And how


s: could he avert it?  A despairing film blurred his


s: sight for the moment--then the eyes flashed daringly.


s: "I will meet it like a man!" he said, mentally--


s: "yea, like a State's Attorney,--I will invite


s: He called a servant, giving some message in an


s: "Yes, sir," said the agreeable servant, "I'll go


s: Five minutes elapsed, and then a voice at his


s: "Did you send for me, Mr. McKinney?  What


s: "Mrs. Miller," said the lady, with a smile that he


s: "Now, please spare me even the mildest of


s: rebukes.  I deserve your censure, but I can't stand it


s: --I can't positively!" and there was a pleading


s: look in John's lifted eyes that changed the little


s: woman's smile to an expression of real solicitude.


s: "I have sent for you," continued John, "to ask of


s: you three great favors.  Please be seated while I


s: enumerate them.  First--I want you to forgive and


s: forget that ill-natured, uncalled-for grumbling of


s: mine this morning when you awakened me."


s: "Why, certainly," said the landlady, again smiling,


s: "I thank you," said John with dignity.  "And,


s: second," he continued--"I want your assurance that


s: my extreme confusion and awkwardness on the occasion


s: of our meeting later were rightly interpreted."


s: "Certainly--certainly," said the landlady with the


s: "I am grateful--utterly," said John, with newer


s: dignity.  "And then," he went on,--"after informing


s: you that it is impossible for the best friend I


s: have in the world to be with me at this hour, as


s: intended, I want you to do me the very great honor


s: "Why, certainly," said the charming little


s: landlady--"and a thousand thanks besides!  But tell me


s: something of your friend," she continued, as they


s: were being served.  "What is he like--and what is


s: "Well," said John warily,--"he's like all young


s: fellows of his age.  He's quite young, you know--


s: not over thirty, I should say--a mere boy, in fact,


s: "--Unmarried, of course," said the chatty little


s: "Oh, yes!" said John, in a matter-of-course tone


s: --but he caught himself abruptly--then stared intently


s: at his napkin--glanced evasively at the side-


s: face of his questioner, and said,--"Oh, yes!  Yes,


s: indeed!  He's unmarried.--Old bachelor like myself,


s: "So he's not like the young man here that


s: distinguished himself last night?" said the little woman


s: The fork in John's hand, half-lifted to his lips,


s: faltered and fell back toward his plate.


s: "Why, what's that?" said John in a strange


s: voice; "I hadn't heard anything about it--I mean


s: I haven't heard anything about any young man.


s: "Haven't heard anything about the elopement?"


s: exclaimed the little woman in astonishment.--


s: "Why it's been the talk of the town all morning.


s: Elopement in high life--son of a grain-dealer, name


s: of Hines, or Himes, or something, and a preacher's


s: daughter--Josie somebody--didn't catch her last


s: name.  Wonder if you don't know the parties--


s: "Oh, no--not at all!" said John:  "Don't mention


s: it.  Ha--ha!  Just eating too rapidly, that's all.


s: Go on with--you were saying that Bert and Josie


s: "What 'Bert'?" asked the little woman quickly.


s: "Why, did I say Bert?" said John, with a guilty


s: look.  "I meant Haines, of course, you know--


s: Haines and Josie.--And did they really elope?"


s: "That's the report," answered the little woman,


s: as though deliberating some important evidence;


s: "and they say, too, that the plot of the runaway


s: was quite ingenious.  It seems the young lovers


s: were assisted in their flight by some old fellow--


s: friend of the young man's--Why, Mr. McKinney,


s: "No--no!" he gasped painfully:  "Go on--go


s: on!  Tell me more about the--the--the old fellow


s: --the old reprobate!  And is he still at large?"


s: "Yes," said the little woman, anxiously regarding


s: the strange demeanor of her companion.  "They


s: say, though, that the law can do nothing with him,


s: and that this fact only intensifies the agony of the


s: broken-hearted parents--for it seems they have, till


s: now, regarded him both as a gentleman and family


s: "I really am ill," moaned John, waveringly rising


s: to his feet; "but I beg you not to be alarmed.  Tell


s: your little boy to come to my room, where I will


s: retire at once, if you'll excuse me, and send for


s: my physician.  It is simply a nervous attack.  I am


s: often troubled so; and only perfect quiet and


s: seclusion restores me.  You have done me a great


s: sympathetic little woman)--"Mrs. Miller,--and I thank


s: you more than I have words to express."  He bowed


s: limply, turned through a side door opening on a


s: During the three weeks' illness through which he


s: passed, John had every attention--much more, indeed,


s: than he had consciousness to appreciate.  For


s: the most part his mind wandered, and he talked of


s: curious things, and laughed hysterically, and serenaded


s: mermaids that dwelt in grassy seas of dew,


s: and were bald-headed like himself.  He played


s: upon a fourteen-jointed flute of solid gold, with


s: diamond holes, and keys carved out of thawless ice.


s: His old father came at first to take him home; but


s: Two weeks of John's illness had worn away,


s: when a very serious-looking young man, in a traveling


s: duster, and a high hat, came up the stairs to


s: see him.  A handsome young lady was clinging to


s: his arm.  It was Bert and Josie.  She had guessed


s: the very date of their forgiveness.  John awoke


s: even clearer in mind than usual that afternoon.  He


s: recognized his old chum at a glance, and Josie--


s: now Bert's wife.  Yes, he comprehended that.  He


s: was holding a hand of each when another figure


s: entered.  His thin white fingers loosened their clasp,


s: and he held a hand toward the newcomer.  "Here,"


s: he said, "is my best friend in the world--Bert, you


s: and Josie will love her, I know; for this is Mrs.--


s: Mrs."--"Mrs. Miller," said the radiant little woman.


s: --"Yes,--Mrs. Miller," said John, very proudly.


s: The little town, as I recall it, was of just enough


s: dignity and dearth of the same to be an ordinary


s: Hoosier State," as it was used to being howlingly


s: referred to by the forensic stump orator from the


s: old stand in the court-house yard--a political


s: campaign being the wildest delight that Zekesbury


s: Through years the fitful happenings of the town