s: Of in-door comforts still she hath a mine,--


s: The sea-coal fires the 'earliest of the year;'


s: Without doors, too, she may compete in mellow,


s: As what is lost in green is gain'd in yellow.


s: Rife with more horns than hounds--she hath the chase,


s: Saint from his beads to join the jocund race;


s: Even Nimrod's self might leave the plains of Dura,


s: If she hath no wild boars, she hath a tame


s: Preserve of bores, who ought to be made game.


s: The noble guests, assembled at the Abbey,


s: And Mrs. Rabbi, the rich banker's squaw;


s: Who look'd a white lamb, yet was a black sheep:


s: With other Countesses of Blank--but rank;


s: At once the 'lie' and the 'elite' of crowds;


s: All purged and pious from their native clouds;


s: No matter how or why, the passport shrouds


s: The 'passee' and the past; for good society


s: Is no less famed for tolerance than piety,--


s: That is, up to a certain point; which point


s: Forms the most difficult in punctuation.


s: Thee, witch!' or each Medea has her Jason;


s: Or (to the point with Horace and with Pulci)


s: 'Omne tulit punctum, quae miscuit utile dulci.'


s: I can't exactly trace their rule of right,


s: Which hath a little leaning to a lottery.


s: I 've seen a virtuous woman put down quite


s: Her way back to the world by dint of plottery,


s: And shine the very Siria of the spheres,


s: Escaping with a few slight, scarless sneers.


s: I have seen more than I 'll say:--but we will see


s: Of highest caste--the Brahmins of the ton.


s: I have named a few, not foremost in degree,


s: But ta'en at hazard as the rhyme may run.


s: By way of sprinkling, scatter'd amongst these,


s: There was Parolles, too, the legal bully,


s: And senate: when invited elsewhere, truly,


s: He shows more appetite for words than war.


s: There was the young bard Rackrhyme, who had newly


s: Come out and glimmer'd as a six weeks' star.


s: There was Lord Pyrrho, too, the great freethinker;


s: And Sir John Pottledeep, the mighty drinker.


s: There was the Duke of Dash, who was a--duke,


s: 'Ay, every inch a' duke; there were twelve peers


s: Like Charlemagne's--and all such peers in look


s: And intellect, that neither eyes nor ears


s: There were the six Miss Rawbolds--pretty dears!


s: All song and sentiment; whose hearts were set


s: There were four Honourable Misters, whose


s: Honour was more before their names than after;


s: There was the preux Chevalier de la Ruse,


s: Whom France and Fortune lately deign'd to waft here,


s: Whose chiefly harmless talent was to amuse;


s: But the clubs found it rather serious laughter,


s: Because--such was his magic power to please--


s: The dice seem'd charm'd, too, with his repartees.


s: Sir Henry Silvercup, the great race-winner.


s: Who did not hate so much the sin as sinner;


s: Good at all things, but better at a bet.


s: There was jack jargon, the gigantic guardsman;


s: And General Fireface, famous in the field,


s: A great tactician, and no less a swordsman,


s: Who ate, last war, more Yankees than he kill'd.


s: There was the waggish Welsh Judge, Jefferies Hardsman,


s: In his grave office so completely skill'd,


s: That when a culprit came far condemnation,


s: He had his judge's joke for consolation.


s: Good company 's a chess-board--there are kings,


s: Queens, bishops, knights, rooks, pawns; the world 's a game;


s: Save that the puppets pull at their own strings,


s: Methinks gay Punch hath something of the same.


s: My Muse, the butterfly hath but her wings,


s: Not stings, and flits through ether without aim,


s: Alighting rarely:--were she but a hornet,


s: Perhaps there might be vices which would mourn it.


s: Smooth speech, his first and maidenly transgression


s: With his debut, which made a strong impression,


s: And rank'd with what is every day display'd--


s: 'The best first speech that ever yet was made.'


s: Proud of his 'Hear hims!' proud, too, of his vote


s: Proud of his learning (just enough to quote),


s: With wit to hatch a pun or tell a story,


s: Graced with some merit, and with more effrontery,


s: 'His country's pride,' he came down to the country.


s: There also were two wits by acclamation,


s: Longbow from Ireland, Strongbow from the Tweed,


s: But Strongbow's wit was of more polish'd breed:


s: But sometimes stumbling over a potato,--


s: While Strongbow's best things might have come from Cato.


s: Strongbow was like a new-tuned harpsichord;


s: With which the winds of heaven can claim accord,


s: And make a music, whether flat or sharp.


s: Of Strongbow's talk you would not change a word:


s: At Longbow's phrases you might sometimes carp:


s: Both wits--one born so, and the other bred--


s: This by his heart, his rival by his head.


s: When Congreve's fool could vie with Moliere's bete:


s: That manners hardly differ more than dress.


s: Our ridicules are kept in the back-ground--


s: Professions, too, are no more to be found


s: Professional; and there is nought to cull


s: Of folly's fruit; for though your fools abound,


s: They're barren, and not worth the pains to pull.


s: Form'd of two mighty tribes, the Bores and Bored.


s: But from being farmers, we turn gleaners, gleaning


s: The scanty but right-well thresh'd ears of truth;


s: And, gentle reader! when you gather meaning,


s: Farther I 'd quote, but Scripture intervening


s: Forbids. Its great impression in my youth


s: Was made by Mrs. Adams, where she cries,


s: 'That Scriptures out of church are blasphemies.'


s: But what we can we glean in this vile age


s: Of chaff, although our gleanings be not grist.


s: Who, in his common-place book, had a page


s: Prepared each morn for evenings. 'List, oh, list!'-


s: 'Alas, poor ghost!'--What unexpected woes


s: Await those who have studied their bon-mots!


s: Firstly, they must allure the conversation


s: By many windings to their clever clinch;


s: And secondly, must let slip no occasion,


s: Nor bate (abate) their hearers of an inch,


s: But take an ell--and make a great sensation,


s: When some smart talker puts them to the test,


s: But seize the last word, which no doubt 's the best.


s: The party we have touch'd on were the guests:


s: Their table was a board to tempt even ghosts


s: To pass the Styx for more substantial feasts.


s: I will not dwell upon ragouts or roasts,


s: That happiness for man--the hungry sinner!-


s: Since Eve ate apples, much depends on dinner.


s: Witness the lands which 'flow'd with milk and honey,'


s: To this we have added since, the love of money,


s: The only sort of pleasure which requites.


s: Youth fades, and leaves our days no longer sunny;


s: But oh, ambrosial cash! Ah! who would lose thee?


s: When we no more can use, or even abuse thee!


s: Or hunt: the young, because they liked the sport--


s: The first thing boys like after play and fruit;


s: The middle-aged to make the day more short;


s: Though nameless in our language:--we retort


s: The fact for words, and let the French translate


s: That awful yawn which sleep can not abate.


s: And tumbled books, or criticised the pictures,


s: Or saunter'd through the gardens piteously,


s: And made upon the hot-house several strictures,


s: Or rode a nag which trotted not too high,


s: Or on the morning papers read their lectures,


s: Or on the watch their longing eyes would fix,


s: But none were 'gene:' the great hour of union


s: Was rung by dinner's knell; till then all were


s: Masters of their own time--or in communion,


s: The hours, which how to pass is but to few known.


s: Each rose up at his own, and had to spare


s: What time he chose for dress, and broke his fast


s: When, where, and how he chose for that repast.


s: The ladies--some rouged, some a little pale--


s: Met the morn as they might. If fine, they rode,


s: Or walk'd; if foul, they read, or told a tale,


s: Sung, or rehearsed the last dance from abroad;


s: Discuss'd the fashion which might next prevail,


s: Or cramm'd twelve sheets into one little letter,


s: To make each correspondent a new debtor.


s: For some had absent lovers, all had friends.


s: The earth has nothing like a she epistle,


s: And hardly heaven--because it never ends.


s: Which, like a creed, ne'er says all it intends,


s: But full of cunning as Ulysses' whistle,


s: When he allured poor Dolon:--you had better


s: Take care what you reply to such a letter.


s: Then there were billiards; cards, too, but no dice;--


s: Save in the clubs no man of honour plays;--


s: Boats when 't was water, skating when 't was ice,


s: And the hard frost destroy'd the scenting days:


s: The quaint, old, cruel coxcomb, in his gullet


s: Should have a hook, and a small trout to pull it.


s: With evening came the banquet and the wine;


s: (My heart or head aches with the memory yet).


s: The four Miss Rawbolds in a glee would shine;


s: But the two youngest loved more to be set


s: Down to the harp--because to music's charms


s: They added graceful necks, white hands and arms.


s: Sometimes a dance (though rarely on field days,


s: For then the gentlemen were rather tired)


s: Display'd some sylph-like figures in its maze;


s: Then there was small-talk ready when required;


s: Flirtation--but decorous; the mere praise


s: Of charms that should or should not be admired.


s: The hunters fought their fox-hunt o'er again,


s: Discuss'd the world, and settled all the spheres;


s: The wits watch'd every loophole for their art,


s: Small is the rest of those who would be smart,


s: A moment's good thing may have cost them years


s: Before they find an hour to introduce it;


s: And then, even then, some bore may make them lose it.


s: In this our party; polish'd, smooth, and cold,


s: As Phidian forms cut out of marble Attic.


s: There now are no Squire Westerns as of old;


s: We have no accomplish'd blackguards, like Tom Jones,


s: But gentlemen in stays, as stiff as stones.


s: That is, ere midnight--which is London's noon:


s: But in the country ladies seek their bower


s: Peace to the slumbers of each folded flower--


s: May the rose call back its true colour soon!


s: Good hours of fair cheeks are the fairest tinters,


s: And lower the price of rouge--at least some winters.


s: Of thought we could but snatch a certainty,


s: Perhaps mankind might find the path they miss--


s: But then 't would spoil much good philosophy.


s: For when his pious consort gave him stones


s: In lieu of sons, of these he made no bones.


s: But System doth reverse the Titan's breakfast,


s: And eats her parents, albeit the digestion


s: Is difficult. Pray tell me, can you make fast,


s: After due search, your faith to any question?


s: Look back o'er ages, ere unto the stake fast


s: You bind yourself, and call some mode the best one.


s: Nothing more true than not to trust your senses;


s: Admit, reject, contemn; and what know you,


s: Except perhaps that you were born to die?


s: When nothing shall be either old or new.


s: Death, so call'd, is a thing which makes men weep,


s: And yet a third of life is pass'd in sleep.


s: A sleep without dreams, after a rough day


s: How clay shrinks back from more quiescent clay!


s: Of paying debts, which creditors regret)


s: Lets out impatiently his rushing breath,


s: Less from disgust of life than dread of death.


s: 'T is round him, near him, here, there, every where;


s: And there 's a courage which grows out of fear,


s: Perhaps of all most desperate, which will dare


s: The worst to know it:--when the mountains rear


s: Their peaks beneath your human foot, and there


s: You look down o'er the precipice, and drear


s: The gulf of rock yawns,--you can't gaze a minute


s: Without an awful wish to plunge within it.


s: 'T is true, you don't--but, pale and struck with terror,


s: Retire: but look into your past impression!


s: And you will find, though shuddering at the mirror


s: Of your own thoughts, in all their self-confession,


s: To plunge with all your fears--but where? You know not,


s: And that's the reason why you do--or do not.


s: But what 's this to the purpose? you will say.


s: Gent. reader, nothing; a mere speculation,


s: For which my sole excuse is--'t is my way;


s: Sometimes with and sometimes without occasion


s: I write what 's uppermost, without delay:


s: This narrative is not meant for narration,


s: To build up common things with common places.


s: You know, or don't know, that great Bacon saith,


s: 'Fling up a straw, 't will show the way the wind blows;'


s: And such a straw, borne on by human breath,


s: A paper kite which flies 'twixt life and death,


s: A shadow which the onward soul behind throws:


s: And mine 's a bubble, not blown up for praise,


s: But just to play with, as an infant plays.


s: And quite enough for me to keep in mind;--


s: Of passions, too, I have proved enough to blame,


s: To the great pleasure of our friends, mankind,


s: Who like to mix some slight alloy with fame;


s: Until I fairly knock'd it up with rhyme.


s: I have brought this world about my ears, and eke


s: The other; that 's to say, the clergy, who


s: Upon my head have bid their thunders break


s: And yet I can't help scribbling once a week,


s: Tiring old readers, nor discovering new.


s: In youth I wrote because my mind was full,


s: But 'why then publish?'--There are no rewards


s: Of fame or profit when the world grows weary.


s: I ask in turn,--Why do you play at cards?


s: Why drink? Why read?--To make some hour less dreary.


s: On what I 've seen or ponder'd, sad or cheery;


s: And what I write I cast upon the stream,


s: To swim or sink--I have had at least my dream.


s: So long I 've battled either more or less,


s: That no defeat can drive me from the Nine.


s: In play, there are two pleasures for your choosing--


s: The one is winning, and the other losing.


s: Besides, my Muse by no means deals in fiction:


s: Of course with some reserve and slight restriction,


s: But mostly sings of human things and acts--


s: And that 's one cause she meets with contradiction;


s: For too much truth, at first sight, ne'er attracts;


s: And were her object only what 's call'd glory,


s: With more ease too she 'd tell a different story.


s: Love, war, a tempest--surely there 's variety;


s: A bird's-eye view, too, of that wild, Society;


s: A slight glance thrown on men of every station.


s: If you have nought else, here 's at least satiety


s: And though these lines should only line portmanteaus,


s: Trade will be all the better for these Cantos.


s: The portion of this world which I at present


s: Have taken up to fill the following sermon,


s: Is one of which there 's no description recent.


s: Although it seems both prominent and pleasant,


s: There is a sameness in its gems and ermine,


s: A dull and family likeness through all ages,


s: With much to excite, there 's little to exalt;


s: Nothing that speaks to all men and all times;


s: A kind of common-place, even in their crimes;


s: Factitious passions, wit without much salt,


s: A want of that true nature which sublimes


s: Whate'er it shows with truth; a smooth monotony


s: Of character, in those at least who have got any.


s: Sometimes, indeed, like soldiers off parade,


s: They break their ranks and gladly leave the drill;


s: But then the roll-call draws them back afraid,


s: And they must be or seem what they were: still


s: But when of the first sight you have had your fill,


s: When we have made our love, and gamed our gaming,


s: Drest, voted, shone, and, may be, something more;


s: With dandies dined; heard senators declaiming;


s: Seen beauties brought to market by the score,


s: Sad rakes to sadder husbands chastely taming;


s: There 's little left but to be bored or bore.


s: Witness those 'ci-devant jeunes hommes' who stem


s: The stream, nor leave the world which leaveth them.


s: 'T is said--indeed a general complaint--


s: The monde, exactly as they ought to paint:


s: Some say, that authors only snatch, by bribing


s: The porter, some slight scandals strange and quaint,


s: To furnish matter for their moral gibing;


s: And that their books have but one style in common--


s: My lady's prattle, filter'd through her woman.


s: But this can't well be true, just now; for writers


s: Are grown of the beau monde a part potential:


s: I 've seen them balance even the scale with fighters,


s: Especially when young, for that 's essential.


s: Why do their sketches fail them as inditers


s: Of what they deem themselves most consequential,


s: 'T is that, in fact, there 's little to describe.


s: 'Haud ignara loquor;' these are Nugae, 'quarum


s: Pars parva fui,' but still art and part.


s: Now I could much more easily sketch a harem,


s: A battle, wreck, or history of the heart,


s: Than these things; and besides, I wish to spare 'em,


s: For reasons which I choose to keep apart.


s: Which means that vulgar people must not share it.


s: And therefore what I throw off is ideal--


s: Lower'd, leaven'd, like a history of freemasons;


s: Which bears the same relation to the real,


s: As Captain Parry's voyage may do to Jason's.


s: The grand arcanum 's not for men to see all;


s: And there is much which could not be appreciated


s: Alas! worlds fall--and woman, since she fell'd


s: The world (as, since that history less polite


s: Than true, hath been a creed so strictly held)


s: Has not yet given up the practice quite.


s: Poor thing of usages! coerced, compell'd,


s: Victim when wrong, and martyr oft when right,


s: Condemn'd to child-bed, as men for their sins


s: Have shaving too entail'd upon their chins,--


s: May average on the whole with parturition.


s: The real sufferings of their she condition?


s: Has much of selfishness, and more suspicion.


s: Their love, their virtue, beauty, education,


s: But form good housekeepers, to breed a nation.


s: All this were very well, and can't be better;


s: But even this is difficult, Heaven knows,


s: So many troubles from her birth beset her,


s: Such small distinction between friends and foes,


s: The gilding wears so soon from off her fetter,


s: (Take her at thirty, that is) to have been


s: 'Petticoat influence' is a great reproach,


s: Which even those who obey would fain be thought


s: To fly from, as from hungry pikes a roach;


s: But since beneath it upon earth we are brought,


s: By various joltings of life's hackney coach,


s: No matter whether russet, silk, or dimity.


s: In my young days, that chaste and goodly veil,


s: Which holds a treasure, like a miser's hoard,


s: And more attracts by all it doth conceal--


s: A cure for grief--for what can ever rankle


s: When even the sea looks dim with all its spray,


s: And sulkily the river's ripple 's flowing,


s: And the sky shows that very ancient gray,


s: 'T is pleasant, if then any thing is pleasant,


s: To catch a glimpse even of a pretty peasant.


s: In that fair clime which don't depend on climate,


s: Quite independent of the Zodiac's signs,


s: Though certainly more difficult to rhyme at,


s: Because the sun, and stars, and aught that shines,


s: Mountains, and all we can be most sublime at,


s: Are there oft dull and dreary as a dun--


s: Whether a sky's or tradesman's is all one.


s: And out of door hath showers, and mists, and sleet,


s: All difficulties, whether great or small,


s: Embarrass'd somewhat both with fire and water.


s: Juan--in this respect, at least, like saints--


s: Was all things unto people of all sorts,


s: And lived contentedly, without complaints,


s: In camps, in ships, in cottages, or courts--


s: Born with that happy soul which seldom faints,


s: And mingling modestly in toils or sports.


s: He likewise could be most things to all women,


s: Without the coxcombry of certain she men.


s: Of tumbling first, and having in exchange


s: Some pleasant jesting at the awkward stranger:


s: The wilds, as doth an Arab turn'd avenger,


s: So that his horse, or charger, hunter, hack,


s: And now in this new field, with some applause,


s: He clear'd hedge, ditch, and double post, and rail,


s: And never craned, and made but few 'faux pas,'


s: And only fretted when the scent 'gan fail.


s: He broke, 't is true, some statutes of the laws


s: Of hunting--for the sagest youth is frail;


s: Rode o'er the hounds, it may be, now and then,


s: And once o'er several country gentlemen.


s: He acquitted both himself and horse: the squires


s: The boors cried 'Dang it? who 'd have thought it?'--Sires,


s: Swore praises, and recall'd their former fires;


s: Such were his trophies--not of spear and shield,


s: But leaps, and bursts, and sometimes foxes' brushes;


s: Yet I must own,--although in this I yield


s: To patriot sympathy a Briton's blushes,--


s: He thought at heart like courtly Chesterfield,


s: Who, after a long chase o'er hills, dales, bushes,


s: And what not, though he rode beyond all price,


s: Ask'd next day, 'If men ever hunted twice?'


s: Who wake in winter ere the cock can summon


s: December's drowsy day to his dull race,--


s: When her soft, liquid words run on apace,


s: Who likes a listener, whether saint or sinner,--


s: He did not fall asleep just after dinner;


s: But, light and airy, stood on the alert,


s: By humouring always what they might assert,


s: And listening to the topics most in vogue;


s: Now grave, now gay, but never dull or pert;


s: And smiling but in secret--cunning rogue!


s: He ne'er presumed to make an error clearer;--


s: In short, there never was a better hearer.


s: And then he danced;--all foreigners excel


s: Of pantomime;--he danced, I say, right well,


s: With emphasis, and also with good sense--


s: Of his drill'd nymphs, but like a gentleman.


s: Chaste were his steps, each kept within due bound,


s: And elegance was sprinkled o'er his figure;


s: Like swift Camilla, he scarce skimm'd the ground,


s: And rather held in than put forth his vigour;


s: And then he had an ear for music's sound,


s: Which might defy a crotchet critic's rigour.


s: Such classic pas--sans flaws--set off our hero,


s: Is worth a tour to Rome, although no more a


s: Remnant were there of the old world's sole throne.


s: The 'tout ensemble' of his movements wore a


s: And ne'er to be described; for to the dolour


s: Of bards and prosers, words are void of colour.


s: A little spoilt, but by no means so quite;


s: Such was his tact, he could alike delight


s: The chaste, and those who are not so much inspired.


s: The Duchess of Fitz-Fulke, who loved 'tracasserie,'


s: Began to treat him with some small 'agacerie.'


s: She was a fine and somewhat full-blown blonde,


s: For several winters in the grand, grand monde.


s: I 'd rather not say what might be related


s: Of her exploits, for this were ticklish ground;


s: Besides there might be falsehood in what 's stated:


s: Her late performance had been a dead set


s: A little black upon this new flirtation;


s: But such small licences must lovers brook,


s: Mere freedoms of the female corporation.


s: To calculators when they count on woman.


s: The circle smiled, then whisper'd, and then sneer'd;


s: The Misses bridled, and the matrons frown'd;


s: Some hoped things might not turn out as they fear'd;


s: Some would not deem such women could be found;


s: Some ne'er believed one half of what they heard;


s: Some look'd perplex'd, and others look'd profound;


s: But what is odd, none ever named the duke,


s: Who, one might think, was something in the affair;


s: True, he was absent, and, 't was rumour'd, took


s: But small concern about the when, or where,


s: Or what his consort did: if he could brook


s: Her gaieties, none had a right to stare:


s: Theirs was that best of unions, past all doubt,


s: Which never meets, and therefore can't fall out.


s: But, oh! that I should ever pen so sad a line!


s: Fired with an abstract love of virtue, she,


s: Began to think the duchess' conduct free;


s: Regretting much that she had chosen so bad a line,


s: Look'd grave and pale to see her friend's fragility,


s: For which most friends reserve their sensibility.


s: There 's nought in this bad world like sympathy:


s: And robes sweet friendship in a Brussels lace.


s: To hunt our errors up with a good grace?


s: Consoling us with--'Would you had thought twice!


s: O job! you had two friends: one 's quite enough,


s: They are but bad pilots when the weather 's rough,


s: Doctors less famous for their cures than fees.


s: Let no man grumble when his friends fall off,


s: As they will do like leaves at the first breeze:


s: When your affairs come round, one way or t' other,


s: Go to the coffee-house, and take another.


s: Some heart-aches had been spared me: yet I care not--


s: Of stubborn shell, which waves and weather wear not.


s: 'T is better on the whole to have felt and seen


s: That which humanity may bear, or bear not:


s: 'T will teach discernment to the sensitive,


s: Of all the horrid, hideous notes of woe,


s: Sadder than owl-songs or the midnight blast,


s: Is that portentous phrase, 'I told you so,'


s: Utter'd by friends, those prophets of the past,


s: Who, 'stead of saying what you now should do,


s: Own they foresaw that you would fall at last,


s: And solace your slight lapse 'gainst 'bonos mores,'


s: Was not confined to feeling for her friend,


s: Whose fame she rather doubted with posterity,


s: But mix'd with pity, pure as e'er was penn'd:


s: And (as her junior by six weeks) his youth.


s: These forty days' advantage of her years--


s: And hers were those which can face calculation,


s: And noble births, nor dread the enumeration--


s: Though she was far from that leap year, whose leap,


s: In female dates, strikes Time all of a heap.


s: This may be fix'd at somewhere before thirty--


s: Advance beyond, while they could pass for new.


s: O Time! why dost not pause? Thy scythe, so dirty


s: With rust, should surely cease to hack and hew.


s: Reset it; shave more smoothly, also slower,


s: Whose ripeness is but bitter at the best:


s: 'T was rather her experience made her sage,


s: For she had seen the world and stood its test,


s: My Muse despises reference, as you have guess'd


s: By this time;--but strike six from seven-and-twenty,


s: And you will find her sum of years in plenty.


s: At sixteen she came out; presented, vaunted,


s: At seventeen, too, the world was still enchanted


s: With the new Venus of their brilliant ocean:


s: At eighteen, though below her feet still panted


s: That Adam, call'd 'The happiest of men.'


s: Since then she had sparkled through three glowing winters,


s: That she had puzzled all the acutest hinters,


s: Without the apparel of being circumspect:


s: They could not even glean the slightest splinters


s: From off the marble, which had no defect.


s: She had also snatch'd a moment since her marriage


s: To bear a son and heir--and one miscarriage.


s: Fondly the wheeling fire-flies flew around her,


s: Those little glitterers of the London night;


s: But none of these possess'd a sting to wound her--


s: She was a pitch beyond a coxcomb's flight.


s: Perhaps she wish'd an aspirant profounder;


s: But whatsoe'er she wish'd, she acted right;


s: And whether coldness, pride, or virtue dignify


s: A woman, so she 's good, what does it signify?


s: I hate a motive, like a lingering bottle


s: Which with the landlord makes too long a stand,


s: Leaving all-claretless the unmoisten'd throttle,


s: Who whirl the dust as simooms whirl the sand;


s: A laureate's ode, or servile peer's 'content.'


s: 'T is sad to hack into the roots of things,


s: They are so much intertwisted with the earth;


s: So that the branch a goodly verdure flings,


s: To trace all actions to their secret springs


s: Would make indeed some melancholy mirth;


s: (For foreigners don't know that a faux pas


s: In England ranks quite on a different list


s: From those of other lands unblest with juries,


s: Whose verdict for such sin a certain cure is);--


s: Such measures as she thought might best impede


s: The farther progress of this sad mistake.


s: She thought with some simplicity indeed;


s: But innocence is bold even at the stake,


s: And simple in the world, and doth not need


s: Nor use those palisades by dames erected,


s: Whose virtue lies in never being detected.


s: It was not that she fear'd the very worst:


s: Into a scene, and swell the clients' clan


s: Of Doctors' Commons: but she dreaded first


s: And next a quarrel (as he seem'd to fret)


s: Her Grace, too, pass'd for being an intrigante,


s: And somewhat mechante in her amorous sphere;


s: One of those pretty, precious plagues, which haunt


s: That like to make a quarrel, when they can't


s: Find one, each day of the delightful year;


s: Bewitching, torturing, as they freeze or glow,


s: And--what is worst of all--won't let you go:


s: The sort of thing to turn a young man's head,


s: No wonder then a purer soul should dread


s: This sort of chaste liaison for a friend;


s: Than wear a heart a woman loves to rend.


s: 'T is best to pause, and think, ere you rush on,


s: If that a 'bonne fortune' be really 'bonne.'


s: And first, in the o'erflowing of her heart,


s: Which really knew or thought it knew no guile,


s: She call'd her husband now and then apart,


s: Lord Henry heard her plans of artless art


s: And answer'd, like a statesman or a prophet,


s: In such guise that she could make nothing of it.


s: Next, that 'he never judged from what appear'd,


s: Without strong reason, of those sort of things:'


s: Thirdly, that 'Juan had more brain than beard,


s: And was not to be held in leading strings;'


s: And fourthly, what need hardly be said twice,


s: 'That good but rarely came from good advice.'


s: And, therefore, doubtless to approve the truth


s: Of the last axiom, he advised his spouse


s: To leave the parties to themselves, forsooth--


s: That time would temper Juan's faults of youth;


s: That young men rarely made monastic vows;


s: But here a messenger brought in despatches:


s: And being of the council call'd 'the Privy,'


s: To tell how he reduced the nation's debt;


s: And if their full contents I do not give ye,


s: But I shall add them in a brief appendix,


s: To come between mine epic and its index.


s: But ere he went, he added a slight hint,


s: Such as are coin'd in conversation's mint,


s: And pass, for want of better, though not new:


s: Then broke his packet, to see what was in 't,


s: Retired; and, as went out, calmly kiss'd her,


s: Less like a young wife than an aged sister.


s: Proud of his birth, and proud of every thing;


s: Tall, stately, form'd to lead the courtly van


s: On birthdays, glorious with a star and string;


s: And such I mean to make him when I reign.


s: But there was something wanting on the whole--


s: I don't know what, and therefore cannot tell--


s: Which pretty women--the sweet souls!--call soul.


s: Still there was something wanting, as I 've said--


s: Which, for what I know, may of yore have led


s: The Greek Eve, Helen, from the Spartan's bed;


s: Though on the whole, no doubt, the Dardan boy


s: But thus it is some women will betray us.


s: There is an awkward thing which much perplexes,


s: By turns the difference of the several sexes;


s: Neither can show quite how they would be loved.


s: The sensual for a short time but connects us,


s: But both together form a kind of centaur,


s: Upon whose back 't is better not to venture.


s: A something all-sufficient for the heart


s: Is that for which the sex are always seeking:


s: But how to fill up that same vacant part?


s: There lies the rub--and this they are but weak in.


s: They run before the wind through high seas breaking;


s: And when they have made the shore through every shock,


s: 'T is odd, or odds, it may turn out a rock.


s: There is a flower call'd 'Love in Idleness,'


s: For which see Shakspeare's everblooming garden;--


s: I will not make his great description less,


s: And beg his British godship's humble pardon,


s: I touch a single leaf where he is warden;--


s: But though the flower is different, with the French


s: Hard labour's an indifferent go-between;


s: Your men of business are not apt to express


s: Much passion, since the merchant-ship, the Argo,


s: Saith Horace; the great little poet 's wrong;


s: Is much more to the purpose of his song;


s: Though even that were sometimes too ferocious,


s: But, in his teeth, whate'er their state or station,


s: Thrice happy they who have an occupation!


s: Adam exchanged his Paradise for ploughing,


s: The earliest knowledge from the tree so knowing,


s: As far as I know, that the church receives:


s: And since that time it need not cost much showing,


s: That many of the ills o'er which man grieves,


s: And still more women, spring from not employing


s: Some hours to make the remnant worth enjoying.


s: And hence high life is oft a dreary void,


s: A rack of pleasures, where we must invent


s: Bards may sing what they please about Content;


s: Contented, when translated, means but cloy'd;


s: Blue devils, and blue-stockings, and romances


s: Reduced to practice, and perform'd like dances.


s: Romances I ne'er read like those I have seen;


s: Would some believe that such a tale had been:


s: But such intent I never had, nor have it;


s: Some truths are better kept behind a screen,


s: Especially when they would look like lies;


s: 'An oyster may be cross'd in love,'--and why?


s: And heaves a lonely subterraqueous sigh,


s: With sloth hath found it difficult to dwell;


s: O Wilberforce! thou man of black renown,


s: Whose merit none enough can sing or say,


s: Thou hast struck one immense Colossus down,


s: But there 's another little thing, I own,


s: Which you should perpetrate some summer's day,


s: And set the other halt of earth to rights;


s: You have freed the blacks--now pray shut up the whites.


s: Teach them that 'sauce for goose is sauce for gander,'


s: And ask them how they like to be in thrall?


s: Who eats fire gratis (since the pay 's but small);


s: Shut up--no, not the King, but the Pavilion,


s: Or else 't will cost us all another million.


s: Shut up the world at large, let Bedlam out;


s: And you will be perhaps surprised to find


s: All things pursue exactly the same route,


s: As now with those of soi-disant sound mind.


s: This I could prove beyond a single doubt,


s: Were there a jot of sense among mankind;


s: But till that point d'appui is found, alas!


s: Like Archimedes, I leave earth as 't was.


s: Her heart was vacant, though a splendid mansion;


s: As she had seen nought claiming its expansion.


s: A wavering spirit may be easier wreck'd,


s: Because 't is frailer, doubtless, than a stanch one;


s: But when the latter works its own undoing,


s: Its inner crash is like an earthquake's ruin.


s: She loved her lord, or thought so; but that love


s: Cost her an effort, which is a sad toil,


s: Our feelings 'gainst the nature of the soil.


s: She had nothing to complain of, or reprove,


s: Though much in temper; but they never clash'd:


s: They moved like stars united in their spheres,


s: Or like the Rhone by Leman's waters wash'd,


s: The river from the lake, all bluely dash'd


s: Through the serene and placid glassy deep,


s: Which fain would lull its river-child to sleep.


s: Herself that her intentions were the best,


s: Intense intentions are a dangerous matter:


s: Impressions were much stronger than she guess'd,


s: And gather'd as they run like growing water


s: Upon her mind; the more so, as her breast


s: But when it was, she had that lurking demon


s: Of double nature, and thus doubly named--


s: Firmness yclept in heroes, kings, and seamen,


s: That is, when they succeed; but greatly blamed


s: Whene'er their triumph pales, or star is tamed:--


s: And 't will perplex the casuist in morality


s: To fix the due bounds of this dangerous quality.


s: It had been firmness; now 't is pertinacity:


s: To draw the line between the false and true,


s: If such can e'er be drawn by man's capacity:


s: She knew not her own heart; then how should I?


s: I think not she was then in love with Juan:


s: If so, she would have had the strength to fly


s: (I will not say it was a false or true one)


s: In him, because she thought he was in danger,--


s: Her husband's friend, her own, young, and a stranger,


s: She was, or thought she was, his friend--and this


s: Without the farce of friendship, or romance


s: Ladies who have studied friendship but in France,


s: But of such friendship as man's may to man be


s: No doubt the secret influence of the sex


s: Will there, as also in the ties of blood,


s: If free from passion, which all friendship checks,


s: And your true feelings fully understood,


s: No friend like to a woman earth discovers,


s: So that you have not been nor will be lovers.


s: Love bears within its breast the very germ


s: Of change; and how should this be otherwise?


s: That violent things more quickly find a term


s: Is shown through nature's whole analogies;


s: And how should the most fierce of all be firm?


s: Would you have endless lightning in the skies?


s: How should 'the tender passion' e'er be tough?


s: (I merely quote what I have heard from many)


s: I 've also seen some wives (not to forget


s: The marriage state, the best or worst of any)


s: Yet made the misery of at least two lives.


s: I 've also seen some female friends ( 't is odd,


s: But true--as, if expedient, I could prove)


s: That faithful were through thick and thin, abroad,


s: At home, far more than ever yet was Love--


s: Who did not quit me when Oppression trod


s: Who fought, and fight, in absence, too, my battles,


s: Despite the snake Society's loud rattles.


s: Grew friends in this or any other sense,


s: To leave them hovering, as the effect is fine,


s: And keeps the atrocious reader in suspense;


s: To bait their tender, or their tenter, hooks.


s: Whether they rode, or walk'd, or studied Spanish


s: A pleasure before which all others vanish;


s: Whether their talk was of the kind call'd 'small,'


s: Or serious, are the topics I must banish


s: To the next Canto; where perhaps I shall


s: Say something to the purpose, and display


s: They 'll only make mistakes about the fair,


s: And I shall take a much more serious air


s: Than I have yet done, in this epic satire.


s: Will fall; but if they do, 't will be their ruin.


s: But great things spring from little:--Would you think,


s: That in our youth, as dangerous a passion


s: As e'er brought man and woman to the brink


s: Of ruin, rose from such a slight occasion,


s: As few would ever dream could form the link


s: You 'll never guess, I 'll bet you millions, milliards--


s: It all sprung from a harmless game at billiards.


s: 'T is strange,--but true; for truth is always strange;


s: Stranger than fiction; if it could be told,


s: How much would novels gain by the exchange!


s: How differently the world would men behold!


s: How oft would vice and virtue places change!


s: The new world would be nothing to the old,


s: Would show mankind their souls' antipodes.


s: What 'antres vast and deserts idle' then


s: What icebergs in the hearts of mighty men,


s: With self-love in the centre as their pole!


s: Of those who hold the kingdoms in control


s: Were things but only call'd by their right name,


s: Caesar himself would be ashamed of fame.


s: Ah!--What should follow slips from my reflection;


s: As though the lurking thought had follow'd free.


s: All present life is but an interjection,


s: Of which perhaps the latter is most true.


s: But, more or less, the whole 's a syncope


s: Wherewith we break our bubbles on the ocean,--


s: Which ministers unto the soul's delight,


s: In seeing matters which are out of sight.


s: But all are better than the sigh supprest,


s: Making the countenance a masque of rest,


s: Few men dare show their thoughts of worst or best;


s: A corner for herself; and therefore fiction


s: Is that which passes with least contradiction.


s: Ah! who can tell? Or rather, who can not


s: Remember, without telling, passion's errors?


s: Hath got blue devils for his morning mirrors:


s: What though on Lethe's stream he seem to float,


s: He cannot sink his tremors or his terrors;


s: The ruby glass that shakes within his hand


s: Leaves a sad sediment of Time's worst sand.


s: And as for love--O love!--We will proceed.


s: A pretty name as one would wish to read,


s: Must perch harmonious on my tuneful quill.


s: There 's music in the sighing of a reed;


s: There 's music in the gushing of a rill;


s: There 's music in all things, if men had ears:


s: Their earth is but an echo of the spheres.


s: And honour'd, ran a risk of growing less so;


s: In their resolves--alas! that I should say so!


s: They differ as wine differs from its label,


s: When once decanted;--I presume to guess so,


s: But will not swear: yet both upon occasion,


s: The unmingled essence of the grape; and yet


s: Bright as a new Napoleon from its mintage,


s: A page where Time should hesitate to print age,


s: And for which Nature might forego her debt--


s: Sole creditor whose process doth involve in 't


s: O Death! thou dunnest of all duns! thou daily


s: Knockest at doors, at first with modest tap,


s: Like a meek tradesman when, approaching palely,


s: Some splendid debtor he would take by sap:


s: But oft denied, as patience 'gins to fail, he


s: And (if let in) insists, in terms unhandsome,


s: Whate'er thou takest, spare a while poor Beauty!


s: She is so rare, and thou hast so much prey.


s: What though she now and then may slip from duty,


s: The more 's the reason why you ought to stay.


s: Gaunt Gourmand! with whole nations for your booty,


s: Suppress, then, some slight feminine diseases,


s: And take as many heroes as Heaven pleases.


s: Because she was not apt, like some of us,


s: To show it (points we need not now discuss)--


s: Would give up artlessly both heart and head


s: Some parts of Juan's history, which Rumour,


s: That live gazette, had scatter'd to disfigure,


s: She had heard; but women hear with more good humour


s: Besides, his conduct, since in England, grew more


s: Strict, and his mind assumed a manlier vigour;


s: The art of living in all climes with ease.


s: His manner was perhaps the more seductive,


s: Because he ne'er seem'd anxious to seduce;


s: Nothing affected, studied, or constructive


s: Of his attractions marr'd the fair perspective,


s: And seem to say, 'Resist us if you can'-


s: Which makes a dandy while it spoils a man.


s: They are wrong--that 's not the way to set about it;


s: As, if they told the truth, could well be shown.


s: But, right or wrong, Don Juan was without it;


s: Sincere he was--at least you could not doubt it,


s: In listening merely to his voice's tone.


s: The devil hath not in all his quiver's choice


s: An arrow for the heart like a sweet voice.


s: By nature soft, his whole address held off


s: Was such as rather seem'd to keep aloof,


s: To shield himself than put you on your guard:


s: Perhaps 't was hardly quite assured enough,


s: Like virtue; and the absence of pretension


s: Will go much farther than there 's need to mention.


s: Serene, accomplish'd, cheerful but not loud;


s: Yet ne'er betraying this in conversation;


s: Proud with the proud, yet courteously proud,


s: So as to make them feel he knew his station


s: And theirs:--without a struggle for priority,


s: He neither brook'd nor claim'd superiority.


s: That is, with men: with women he was what


s: They pleased to make or take him for; and their


s: They fill the canvas up--and 'verbum sat.'


s: If once their phantasies be brought to bear


s: They can transfigure brighter than a Raphael.


s: Was apt to add a colouring from her own:


s: And eke the wise, as has been often shown.


s: But saddest when his science is well known:


s: Their folly in forgetting there are fools.


s: Was it not so, great Locke? and greater Bacon?


s: Great Socrates? And thou, Diviner still,


s: And thy pure creed made sanction of all ill?


s: Redeeming worlds to be by bigots shaken,


s: How was thy toil rewarded? We might fill


s: But leave them to the conscience of the nations.


s: With no great care for what is nicknamed glory,


s: On what may suit or may not suit my story,


s: I don't know that there may be much ability


s: Which may round off an hour upon a time.


s: Of this I 'm sure at least, there 's no servility


s: Which rings what 's uppermost of new or hoary,


s: 'Omnia vult belle Matho dicere--dic aliquando


s: Et bene, dic neutrum, dic aliquando male.'


s: The first is rather more than mortal can do;


s: The third is still more difficult to stand to;


s: The fourth we hear, and see, and say too, daily.


s: But now I can't tell where it may not run.


s: No doubt, if I had wish' to pay my court


s: Were more;--but I was born for opposition.


s: But then 't is mostly on the weaker side;


s: Who now are basking in their full-blown pride


s: Were shaken down, and 'dogs had had their day,'


s: Though at the first I might perchance deride


s: Their tumble, I should turn the other way,


s: I think I should have made a decent spouse,


s: If I had never proved the soft condition;


s: I think I should have made monastic vows,


s: 'Gainst rhyme I never should have knock'd my brows,


s: Nor broken my own head, nor that of Priscian,


s: If some one had not told me to forego it.


s: But 'laissez aller'--knights and dames I sing,


s: Such as the times may furnish. 'T is a flight


s: Which seems at first to need no lofty wing,


s: (Keeping the due proportions still in sight)


s: With nature manners which are artificial,


s: And rend'ring general that which is especial.


s: The difference is, that in the days of old


s: Men made the manners; manners now make men--


s: Pinn'd like a flock, and fleeced too in their fold,


s: At least nine, and a ninth beside of ten.


s: Your writers, who must either draw again


s: Days better drawn before, or else assume


s: The present, with their common-place costume.


s: We 'll do our best to make the best on 't:--March!


s: March, my Muse! If you cannot fly, yet flutter;


s: And when you may not be sublime, be arch,


s: Or starch, as are the edicts statesmen utter.


s: We surely may find something worth research:


s: Or brigantine, or pink, of no great tonnage,


s: Felt on the whole an interest intense,--


s: Partly perhaps because a fresh sensation,


s: Which is for innocence a sad temptation,--


s: As women hate half measures, on the whole,


s: She 'gan to ponder how to save his soul.


s: Like all who give and eke receive it gratis,


s: For which small thanks are still the market price,


s: Even where the article at highest rate is:


s: She thought upon the subject twice or thrice,


s: For morals, marriage; and this question carried,


s: She seriously advised him to get married.


s: Juan replied, with all becoming deference,


s: But that, at present, with immediate reference


s: To his own circumstances, there might lie


s: Some difficulties, as in his own preference,


s: That still he 'd wed with such or such a lady,


s: If that they were not married all already.


s: And daughters, brothers, sisters, kith or kin,


s: Arranging them like books on the same shelf,


s: There 's nothing women love to dabble in


s: More (like a stock-holder in growing pelf)


s: Than match-making in general: 't is no sin


s: Certes, but a preventative, and therefore


s: That is, no doubt, the only reason wherefore.


s: Was there chaste dame who had not in her head


s: Observed as strictly both at board and bed


s: Some heir to a large property, some friend


s: Or grave Lord George, with whom perhaps might end


s: The prospect and their morals: and besides,


s: They have at hand a blooming glut of brides.


s: From these they will be careful to select,


s: For this an heiress, and for that a beauty;


s: For one a songstress who hath no defect,


s: For t' other one who promises much duty;


s: Whose sole accomplishments were quite a booty;


s: A third, because there can be no objections.


s: When Rapp the Harmonist embargo'd marriage


s: In his harmonious settlement (which flourishes


s: Strangely enough as yet without miscarriage,


s: Because it breeds no more mouths than it nourishes,


s: Without those sad expenses which disparage


s: What Nature naturally most encourages)--


s: Why call'd he 'Harmony' a state sans wedlock?


s: Now here I 've got the preacher at a dead lock.


s: Because he either meant to sneer at harmony


s: Or marriage, by divorcing them thus oddly.


s: But whether reverend Rapp learn'd this in Germany


s: Or no, 't is said his sect is rich and godly,


s: Pious and pure, beyond what I can term any


s: Of ours, although they propagate more broadly.


s: My objection 's to his title, not his ritual,


s: But Rapp is the reverse of zealous matrons,


s: Who favour, malgre Malthus, generation--


s: Professors of that genial art, and patrons


s: Which after all at such a desperate rate runs,


s: That half its produce tends to emigration,


s: That sad result of passions and potatoes--


s: Two weeds which pose our economic Catos.


s: I wish she had: his book 's the eleventh commandment,


s: Which says, 'Thou shalt not marry,' unless well:


s: This he (as far as I can understand) meant.


s: 'T is not my purpose on his views to dwell


s: Nor canvass what so 'eminent a hand' meant;


s: But certes it conducts to lives ascetic,


s: Or separate maintenance, in case 't was doom'd--


s: That bridegrooms, after they are fairly groom'd,


s: Of marriage (which might form a painter's fame,


s: Like Holbein's 'Dance of Death'--but 't is the same);--


s: In her own mind, and that 's enough for woman:


s: But then, with whom? There was the sage Miss Reading,


s: And the two fair co-heiresses Giltbedding.


s: She deem'd his merits something more than common:


s: And might go on, if well wound up, like watches.


s: There was Miss Millpond, smooth as summer's sea,


s: Till skimm'd--and then there was some milk and water,


s: With a slight shade of blue too, it might be,


s: Beneath the surface; but what did it matter?


s: Love 's riotous, but marriage should have quiet,


s: And being consumptive, live on a milk diet.


s: And then there was the Miss Audacia Shoestring,


s: Whose heart was fix'd upon a star or blue string;


s: But whether English dukes grew rare of late,


s: Or that she had not harp'd upon the true string,


s: By which such sirens can attract our great,


s: She took up with some foreign younger brother,


s: A Russ or Turk--the one 's as good as t' other.


s: And then there was--but why should I go on,


s: Unless the ladies should go off?--there was


s: Of the best class, and better than her class,--


s: O'er life, too sweet an image for such glass,


s: A lovely being, scarcely form'd or moulded,


s: A rose with all its sweetest leaves yet folded;


s: Rich, noble, but an orphan; left an only


s: Child to the care of guardians good and kind;


s: But still her aspect had an air so lonely!


s: Blood is not water; and where shall we find


s: Feelings of youth like those which overthrown lie


s: By death, when we are left, alas! behind,


s: Is wanting, and our best ties in the tomb?


s: In eyes which sadly shone, as seraphs' shine.


s: All youth--but with an aspect beyond time;


s: Radiant and grave--as pitying man's decline;


s: Mournful--but mournful of another's crime,


s: She look'd as if she sat by Eden's door.


s: And grieved for those who could return no more.


s: She was a Catholic, too, sincere, austere,


s: And deem'd that fallen worship far more dear


s: Perhaps because 't was fallen: her sires were proud


s: Of deeds and days when they had fill'd the ear


s: To novel power; and as she was the last,


s: She held their old faith and old feelings fast.


s: She gazed upon a world she scarcely knew,


s: As seeking not to know it; silent, lone,


s: As grows a flower, thus quietly she grew,


s: And kept her heart serene within its zone.


s: There was awe in the homage which she drew;


s: Apart from the surrounding world, and strong


s: In its own strength--most strange in one so young!


s: Although her birth and wealth had given her vogue


s: Beyond the charmers we have already cited;


s: Against her being mention'd as well fitted,


s: By many virtues, to be worth the trouble


s: Of single gentlemen who would be double.


s: And this omission, like that of the bust


s: This he express'd half smiling and half serious;


s: And with an air, to say the least, imperious,


s: She marvell'd 'what he saw in such a baby


s: As that prim, silent, cold Aurora Raby?'


s: And therefore fittest, as of his persuasion;


s: Since he was sure his mother would fall sick,


s: If-' But here Adeline, who seem'd to pique


s: Of others with her own opinions, stated--


s: As usual--the same reason which she late did.


s: If good, is none the worse for repetition;


s: If bad, the best way 's certainly to tease on,


s: And amplify: you lose much by concision,


s: Or--what is just the same--it wearies out.


s: So the end 's gain'd, what signifies the route?


s: For prejudice it was--against a creature


s: With all the added charm of form and feature,


s: But nature 's nature, and has more caprices


s: Than I have time, or will, to take to pieces.


s: With which Aurora on those baubles look'd,


s: Which charm most people in their earlier day:


s: For there are few things by mankind less brook'd,


s: Than finding thus their genius stand rebuked,


s: Her place was far beyond it, and her mind.


s: It was not scorn--which could not light on one


s: Whose greatest fault was leaving few to find.


s: To say what it was not than what it was.


s: Of such discussion. She was there a guest;


s: A beauteous ripple of the brilliant stream


s: Of rank and youth, though purer than the rest,


s: Which flow'd on for a moment in the beam


s: Time sheds a moment o'er each sparkling crest.


s: Had she known this, she would have calmly smiled--


s: She had so much, or little, of the child.


s: Much as she would have seen a glow-worm shine,


s: Then turn'd unto the stars for loftier rays.


s: Juan was something she could not divine,


s: Yet she was nothing dazzled by the meteor,


s: Because she did not pin her faith on feature.


s: His fame too,--for he had that kind of fame


s: Which sometimes plays the deuce with womankind,


s: Half virtues and whole vices being combined;


s: Faults which attract because they are not tame;


s: Follies trick'd out so brightly that they blind:--


s: These seals upon her wax made no impression,


s: Such was her coldness or her self-possession.


s: High, yet resembling not his lost Haidee;


s: Yet each was radiant in her proper sphere:


s: The island girl, bred up by the lone sea,


s: More warm, as lovely, and not less sincere,


s: Nor would be thus:--the difference in them


s: Was such as lies between a flower and gem.


s: Having wound up with this sublime comparison,


s: Methinks we may proceed upon our narrative,


s: And, as my friend Scott says, 'I sound my warison;'


s: Scott, the superlative of my comparative--


s: Scott, who can paint your Christian knight or Saracen,


s: Serf, lord, man, with such skill as none would share it, if


s: There had not been one Shakspeare and Voltaire,


s: Of one or both of whom he seems the heir.


s: I write the world, nor care if the world read,


s: At least for this I cannot spare its vanity.


s: My Muse hath bred, and still perhaps may breed


s: More foes by this same scroll: when I began it, I


s: Thought that it might turn out so--now I know it,


s: The conference or congress (for it ended


s: Some acids with the sweets--for she was heady;


s: But, ere the matter could be marr'd or mended,


s: The silvery bell rang, not for 'dinner ready,


s: But for that hour, call'd half-hour, given to dress,


s: Though ladies' robes seem scant enough for less.


s: Great things were now to be achieved at table,


s: With massy plate for armour, knives and forks


s: For weapons; but what Muse since Homer 's able


s: (His feasts are not the worst part of his works)


s: Of modern dinners? where more mystery lurks,


s: There was a goodly 'soupe a la bonne femme,'


s: Though God knows whence it came from; there was, too,


s: How shall I get this gourmand stanza through?-


s: 'Soupe a la Beauveau,' whose relief was dory,


s: Relieved itself by pork, for greater glory.


s: But I must crowd all into one grand mess


s: Or mass; for should I stretch into detail,


s: My Muse would run much more into excess,


s: Than when some squeamish people deem her frail.


s: But though a 'bonne vivante,' I must confess


s: Her stomach 's not her peccant part; this tale


s: However doth require some slight refection,


s: Just to relieve her spirits from dejection.


s: Fowls 'a la Conde,' slices eke of salmon,


s: With 'sauces Genevoises,' and haunch of venison;


s: Wines too, which might again have slain young Ammon--


s: A man like whom I hope we shan't see many soon;


s: They also set a glazed Westphalian ham on,


s: Whereon Apicius would bestow his benison;


s: And then there was champagne with foaming whirls,


s: Then there was God knows what 'a l'Allemande,'


s: 'A l'Espagnole,' 'timballe,' and 'salpicon'-


s: With things I can't withstand or understand,


s: Though swallow'd with much zest upon the whole;


s: While great Lucullus' Robe triumphal muffles


s: (There 's fame) young partridge fillets, deck'd with truffles.


s: What are the fillets on the victor's brow


s: To these? They are rags or dust. Where is the arch


s: Which nodded to the nation's spoils below?


s: Where the triumphal chariots' haughty march?


s: Gone to where victories must like dinners go.


s: Farther I shall not follow the research:


s: But oh! ye modern heroes with your cartridges,


s: When will your names lend lustre e'en to partridges?


s: Those truffles too are no bad accessaries,


s: Of which perhaps the cookery rather varies,


s: Which encyclopedize both flesh and fish;


s: But even sans 'confitures,' it no less true is,


s: The mind is lost in mighty contemplation


s: Who would suppose, from Adam's simple ration,


s: That cookery could have call'd forth such resources,


s: From out the commonest demands of nature?


s: The glasses jingled, and the palates tingled;


s: In the feast, pecking less than I can tell;


s: Also the younger men too: for a springald


s: Can't, like ripe age, in gormandize excel,


s: But thinks less of good eating than the whisper


s: (When seated next him) of some pretty lisper.


s: Alas! I must leave undescribed the gibier,


s: All which I use to make my rhymes run glibber


s: Than could roast beef in our rough John Bull way:


s: I must not introduce even a spare rib here,


s: 'Bubble and squeak' would spoil my liquid lay:


s: But I have dined, and must forego, Alas!


s: The chaste description even of a 'becasse;'


s: And fruits, and ice, and all that art refines


s: From nature for the service of the gout--


s: Taste or the gout,--pronounce it as inclines


s: Your stomach! Ere you dine, the French will do;


s: But after, there are sometimes certain signs


s: Which prove plain English truer of the two.


s: Hast ever had the gout? I have not had it--


s: But I may have, and you too, reader, dread it.


s: I must, although a favourite 'plat' of mine


s: In Spain, and Lucca, Athens, every where:


s: On them and bread 't was oft my luck to dine,


s: Of whom half my philosophy the progeny is.


s: Amidst this tumult of fish, flesh, and 'fowl,


s: The guests were placed according to their roll,


s: But various as the various meats display'd:


s: No damsel, but a dish, as hath been said;


s: But so far like a lady, that 't was drest


s: Superbly, and contain'd a world of zest.


s: By some odd chance too, he was placed between


s: For man therein, with eyes and heart, to dine.


s: Was not such as to encourage him to shine;


s: For Adeline, addressing few words to him,


s: With two transcendent eyes seem'd to look through him.


s: I sometimes almost think that eyes have ears:


s: This much is sure, that, out of earshot, things


s: Of which I can't tell whence their knowledge springs.


s: Like that same mystic music of the spheres,


s: Which no one bears, so loudly though it rings,


s: 'T is wonderful how oft the sex have heard


s: Long dialogues--which pass'd without a word!


s: Which piques a preux chevalier--as it ought:


s: Of all offences that 's the worst offence,


s: Which seems to hint you are not worth a thought.


s: Now Juan, though no coxcomb in pretence,


s: Was not exactly pleased to be so caught;


s: To his gay nothings, nothing was replied,


s: Or something which was nothing, as urbanity


s: The devil was in the girl! Could it be pride?


s: Heaven knows? But Adeline's malicious eyes


s: Sparkled with her successful prophecies,


s: And look'd as much as if to say, 'I said it;'


s: Because it sometimes, as I have seen or read it,


s: Both in the case of lover and of friend,


s: Will pique a gentleman, for his own credit,


s: To bring what was a jest to a serious end:


s: And hate those who won't let them come to pass.


s: Juan was drawn thus into some attentions,


s: Slight but select, and just enough to express,


s: To females of perspicuous comprehensions,


s: That he would rather make them more than less.


s: Aurora at the last (so history mentions,


s: Though probably much less a fact than guess)


s: So far relax'd her thoughts from their sweet prison,


s: As once or twice to smile, if not to listen.


s: From answering she began to question; this


s: With her was rare: and Adeline, who as yet


s: Thought her predictions went not much amiss,


s: Began to dread she'd thaw to a coquette--


s: To keep extremes from meeting, when once set


s: In motion; but she here too much refined--


s: Which show'd such deference to what females say,


s: His tact, too, temper'd him from grave to gay,


s: And taught him when to be reserved or free:


s: Of flatterers, though she deem'd he had more sense


s: Than whispering foplings, or than witlings loud--


s: Commenced (from such slight things will great commence)


s: To feel that flattery which attracts the proud


s: And then he had good looks;--that point was carried


s: Nem. con. amongst the women, which I grieve


s: To say leads oft to crim. con. with the married--


s: A case which to the juries we may leave,


s: Since with digressions we too long have tarried.


s: Now though we know of old that looks deceive,


s: And always have done, somehow these good looks


s: Make more impression than the best of books.


s: Aurora, who look'd more on books than faces,


s: But Virtue's self, with all her tightest laces,


s: Has not the natural stays of strict old age;


s: Own'd to a penchant, though discreet, for beauty.


s: And girls of sixteen are thus far Socratic,


s: And really, if the sage sublime and Attic


s: At seventy years had phantasies like these,


s: Has shown, I know not why they should displease


s: Observe; for that with me 's a 'sine qua.'


s: Also observe, that, like the great Lord Coke


s: (See Littleton), whene'er I have express'd


s: Opinions two, which at first sight may look


s: Or none at all--which seems a sorry jest:


s: But if a writer should be quite consistent,


s: How could he possibly show things existent?


s: Help contradicting them, and every body,


s: Even my veracious self?--But that 's a lie:


s: I never did so, never will--how should I?


s: He who doubts all things nothing can deny:


s: Truth's fountains may be clear--her streams are muddy,


s: And cut through such canals of contradiction,


s: That she must often navigate o'er fiction.


s: Are false, but may he render'd also true,


s: By those who sow them in a land that 's arable.


s: 'T is said it makes reality more bearable:


s: Religion? Yes; but which of all her sects?


s: Some millions must be wrong, that 's pretty dear;


s: Perhaps it may turn out that all were right.


s: God help us! Since we have need on our career


s: 'T is time that some new prophet should appear,


s: Opinions wear out in some thousand years,


s: Without a small refreshment from the spheres.


s: But here again, why will I thus entangle


s: I always knock my head against some angle


s: About the present, past, or future state.


s: Yet I wish well to Trojan and to Tyrian,


s: Bull something of the lower world's condition.


s: It makes my blood boil like the springs of Hecla,


s: To see men let these scoundrel sovereigns break law.


s: Because my business is to dress society,


s: And stuff with sage that very verdant goose.


s: And now, that we may furnish with some matter all


s: Tastes, we are going to try the supernatural.


s: Shall 'fool me to the top up of my bent:'-


s: Yes, I' ll begin a thorough reformation.


s: Was dangerous;--I think she is as harmless


s: As some who labour more and yet may charm less.


s: And don't regret the time you may have lost,


s: For you have got that pleasure still to come:


s: And do not think I mean to sneer at most


s: That source of the sublime and the mysterious:--


s: For certain reasons my belief is serious.


s: Serious? You laugh;--you may: that will I not;


s: My smiles must be sincere or not at all.


s: Exists--and where? That shall I not recall,


s: Because I 'd rather it should be forgot,


s: 'Shadows the soul of Richard' may appal.


s: In short, upon that subject I 've some qualms very


s: Like those of the philosopher of Malmsbury.


s: The night (I sing by night--sometimes an owl,


s: And the loud shriek of sage Minerva's fowl


s: Old portraits from old walls upon me scowl--


s: I wish to heaven they would not look so grim;


s: I think too that I have sate up too late:


s: And therefore, though 't is by no means my way


s: To rhyme at noon--when I have other things


s: I feel some chilly midnight shudderings,


s: Treating a topic which, alas! but brings


s: Shadows;--but you must be in my condition


s: Before you learn to call this superstition.


s: The antique Persians taught three useful things,


s: To draw the bow, to ride, and speak the truth.


s: This was the mode of Cyrus, best of kings--


s: Bows have they, generally with two strings;


s: Horses they ride without remorse or ruth;


s: At speaking truth perhaps they are less clever,


s: But draw the long bow better now than ever.


s: The cause of this effect, or this defect,--


s: 'For this effect defective comes by cause,'-


s: Whate'er may be her follies or her flaws


s: In some things, mine 's beyond all contradiction


s: The most sincere that ever dealt in fiction.


s: And as she treats all things, and ne'er retreats


s: Which you might elsewhere hope to find in vain.


s: 'T is true there be some bitters with the sweets,


s: Yet mix'd so slightly, that you can't complain,


s: But wonder they so few are, since my tale is


s: But of all truths which she has told, the most


s: True is that which she is about to tell.


s: Have you explored the limits of the coast,


s: Where all the dwellers of the earth must dwell?


s: The sceptics who would not believe Columbus.


s: Some people would impose now with authority,


s: Turpin's or Monmouth Geoffry's Chronicle;


s: But Saint Augustine has the great priority,


s: Who bids all men believe the impossible,


s: Because 't is so. Who nibble, scribble, quibble, he


s: And therefore, mortals, cavil not at all;


s: 'T is always best to take things upon trust.


s: Those holier mysteries which the wise and just


s: Receive as gospel, and which grow more rooted,


s: As all truths must, the more they are disputed:


s: That in the course of some six thousand years,


s: All nations have believed that from the dead


s: And what is strangest upon this strange head,


s: 'Gainst such belief, there 's something stronger still


s: The dinner and the soiree too were done,


s: The supper too discuss'd, the dames admired,


s: The banqueteers had dropp'd off one by one--


s: The song was silent, and the dance expired:


s: The last thin petticoats were vanish'd, gone


s: Like fleecy Clouds into the sky retired,


s: And nothing brighter gleam'd through the saloon


s: Than dying tapers--and the peeping moon.


s: Is like the last glass of champagne, without


s: The foam which made its virgin bumper gay;


s: Has sparkled and let half its spirit out;


s: Or like an opiate, which brings troubled rest,


s: Or none; or like--like nothing that I know


s: Except itself;--such is the human breast;


s: No real likeness,--like the old Tyrian vest


s: Dyed purple, none at present can tell how,


s: So perish every tyrant's robe piece-meal!


s: But next to dressing for a rout or ball,


s: Undressing is a woe; our robe de chambre


s: Thoughts quite as yellow, but less clear than amber.


s: Titus exclaim'd, 'I 've lost a day!' Of all


s: The nights and days most people can remember


s: (I have had of both, some not to be disdain'd),


s: I wish they 'd state how many they have gain'd.


s: Felt restless, and perplex'd, and compromised:


s: He thought Aurora Raby's eyes more bright


s: A great resource to all, and ne'er denied


s: Till wanted; therefore Juan only sigh'd.


s: He sigh'd;--the next resource is the full moon,


s: It happen'd luckily, the chaste orb shone


s: To hail her with the apostrophe--'O thou!'


s: Which further to explain would be a truism.


s: Feel some abstraction when they gaze on her:


s: Great thoughts we catch from thence (besides a cold


s: Sometimes, unless my feelings rather err);


s: Deep secrets to her rolling light are told;


s: The ocean's tides and mortals' brains she sways,


s: And also hearts, if there be truth in lays.


s: Juan felt somewhat pensive, and disposed


s: For contemplation rather than his pillow:


s: The Gothic chamber, where he was enclosed,


s: Let in the rippling sound of the lake's billow,


s: With all the mystery by midnight caused;


s: Below his window waved (of course) a willow;


s: That flash'd and after darken'd in the shade.


s: (I state this, for I am cautious to a pitch


s: Of nicety, where a fact is to be gain'd),--


s: A lamp burn'd high, while he leant from a niche,


s: In chisell'd stone and painted glass, and all


s: That time has left our fathers of their hall.


s: Then, as the night was clear though cold, he threw


s: His chamber door wide open--and went forth


s: Long, furnish'd with old pictures of great worth,


s: Of knights and dames heroic and chaste too,


s: As doubtless should be people of high birth.


s: But by dim lights the portraits of the dead


s: Have something ghastly, desolate, and dread.


s: The forms of the grim knight and pictured saint


s: Look living in the moon; and as you turn


s: Backward and forward to the echoes faint


s: Of your own footsteps--voices from the urn


s: Appear to wake, and shadows wild and quaint


s: Start from the frames which fence their aspects stern,


s: A vigil there, where all but death should sleep.


s: And the pale smile of beauties in the grave,


s: The charms of other days, in starlight gleams,


s: Glimmer on high; their buried locks still wave


s: Along the canvas; their eyes glance like dreams


s: On ours, or spars within some dusky cave,


s: But death is imaged in their shadowy beams.


s: A picture is the past; even ere its frame


s: Be gilt, who sate hath ceased to be the same.


s: Or step ran sadly through that antique house;


s: When suddenly he heard, or thought so, nigh,


s: Whose little nibbling rustle will embarrass


s: Most people as it plays along the arras.


s: It was no mouse, but lo! a monk, array'd


s: In cowl and beads and dusky garb, appear'd,


s: Now in the moonlight, and now lapsed in shade,


s: With steps that trod as heavy, yet unheard;


s: He moved as shadowy as the sisters weird,


s: Glanced, without pausing, on him a bright eye.


s: But thought, like most men, there was nothing in 't


s: Beyond the rumour which such spots unfold,


s: Coin'd from surviving superstition's mint,


s: Which passes ghosts in currency like gold,


s: But rarely seen, like gold compared with paper.


s: And did he see this? or was it a vapour?


s: Once, twice, thrice pass'd, repass'd--the thing of air,


s: Or earth beneath, or heaven, or t' other place;


s: Yet could not speak or move; but, on its base


s: As stands a statue, stood: he felt his hair


s: Twine like a knot of snakes around his face;


s: He tax'd his tongue for words, which were not granted,


s: To ask the reverend person what he wanted.


s: The third time, after a still longer pause,


s: The shadow pass'd away--but where? the hall


s: Was long, and thus far there was no great cause


s: Doors there were many, through which, by the laws


s: Of physics, bodies whether short or tall


s: Might come or go; but Juan could not state


s: Through which the spectre seem'd to evaporate.


s: He stood--how long he knew not, but it seem'd


s: An age--expectant, powerless, with his eyes


s: Strain'd on the spot where first the figure gleam'd;


s: And would have pass'd the whole off as a dream,


s: But could not wake; he was, he did surmise,


s: Back to his chamber, shorn of half his strength.


s: All there was as he left it: still his taper


s: Burnt, and not blue, as modest tapers use,


s: Receiving sprites with sympathetic vapour;


s: He rubb'd his eyes, and they did not refuse


s: Their office; he took up an old newspaper;


s: This savour'd of this world; but his hand shook--


s: There, couch'd all snugly on his pillow's nook,


s: With what he had seen his phantasy he fed;


s: And though it was no opiate, slumber crept


s: He woke betimes; and, as may be supposed,


s: And whether it ought not to be disclosed,


s: At risk of being quizz'd for superstition.


s: The more he thought, the more his mind was posed:


s: In the mean time, his valet, whose precision


s: Was great, because his master brook'd no less,


s: Knock'd to inform him it was time to dress.


s: He dress'd; and like young people he was wont


s: To take some trouble with his toilet, but


s: This morning rather spent less time upon 't;


s: His curls fell negligently o'er his front,


s: His clothes were not curb'd to their usual cut,


s: His very neckcloth's Gordian knot was tied


s: Almost an hair's breadth too much on one side.


s: And when he walk'd down into the saloon,


s: Which he perhaps had not discover'd soon,


s: Which made him have recourse unto his spoon;


s: So much distrait he was, that all could see


s: The first--but what she could not well divine.


s: She look'd, and saw him pale, and turn'd as pale


s: Herself; then hastily look'd down, and mutter'd


s: Something, but what 's not stated in my tale.


s: Lord Henry said his muffin was ill butter'd;


s: The Duchess of Fitz-Fulke play'd with her veil,


s: And look'd at Juan hard, but nothing utter'd.


s: Survey'd him with a kind of calm surprise.


s: But seeing him all cold and silent still,


s: Fair Adeline enquired, 'If he were ill?'


s: He started, and said, 'Yes--no--rather--yes.'


s: His readiness to feel his pulse and tell


s: The cause, but Juan said, 'He was quite well.'


s: 'Quite well; yes,--no.'--These answers were mysterious,


s: And yet his looks appear'd to sanction both,


s: Something like illness of a sudden growth


s: Weigh'd on his spirit, though by no means serious:


s: But for the rest, as he himself seem'd loth


s: To state the case, it might be ta'en for granted


s: It was not the physician that he wanted.


s: Lord Henry, who had now discuss'd his chocolate,


s: Said, Juan had not got his usual look elate,


s: At which he marvell'd, since it had not rain'd;


s: Then ask'd her Grace what news were of the duke of late?


s: Her Grace replied, his Grace was rather pain'd


s: With some slight, light, hereditary twinges


s: Of gout, which rusts aristocratic hinges.


s: Then Henry turn'd to Juan, and address'd


s: 'You look,' quoth he, 'as if you had had your rest


s: Broke in upon by the Black Friar of late.'


s: 'What friar?' said Juan; and he did his best


s: Or careless; but the effort was not valid


s: To hinder him from growing still more pallid.


s: 'Oh! have you never heard of the Black Friar?


s: The spirit of these walls?'--'In truth not I.'


s: 'Why Fame--but Fame you know 's sometimes a liar--


s: Whether with time the spectre has grown shyer,


s: For such sights, though the tale is half believed,


s: The friar of late has not been oft perceived.


s: (Who watch'd the changes of Don Juan's brow,


s: And from its context thought she could divine


s: Connexions stronger then he chose to avow


s: With this same legend)--'if you but design


s: To jest, you 'll choose some other theme just now,


s: Because the present tale has oft been told,


s: And is not much improved by growing old.'


s: 'Jest!' quoth Milor; 'why, Adeline, you know


s: That we ourselves--'t was in the honey-moon--


s: But, come, I 'll set your story to a tune.'


s: Graceful as Dian, when she draws her bow,


s: She seized her harp, whose strings were kindled soon


s: As touch'd, and plaintively began to play


s: 'But add the words,' cried Henry, 'which you made;


s: Turning round to the rest, he smiling said.


s: Of course the others could not but express


s: By one three talents, for there were no less--


s: The voice, the words, the harper's skill, at once


s: The charming of these charmers, who seem bound,


s: I can't tell why, to this dissimulation,--


s: Fair Adeline, with eyes fix'd on the ground


s: Added her sweet voice to the lyric sound,


s: Not the less precious, that we seldom hear it.


s: For he mutters his prayer in the midnight air,


s: And expell'd the friars, one friar still


s: Though he came in his might, with King Henry's right,


s: For he 's seen in the porch, and he 's seen in the church,


s: And whether for good, or whether for ill,


s: By the marriage-bed of their lords, 't is said,


s: And 't is held as faith, to their bed of death


s: When an heir is born, he 's heard to mourn,


s: His form you may trace, but not his face,


s: But his eyes may be seen from the folds between,


s: Nor wine nor wassail could raise a vassal


s: The lady's voice ceased, and the thrilling wires


s: Died from the touch that kindled them to sound;


s: And the pause follow'd, which when song expires


s: Pervades a moment those who listen round;


s: And then of course the circle much admires,


s: Nor less applauds, as in politeness bound,


s: The tones, the feeling, and the execution,


s: Would now and then as 't were without display,


s: Yet with display in fact, at times relent


s: To such performances with haughty smile,


s: To show she could, if it were worth her while.


s: Trampling on Plato's pride with greater pride,


s: Deeming the sage would be much mortified,


s: For a spoil'd carpet--but the 'Attic Bee'


s: Their sort of half profession; for it grows


s: To something like this when too oft display'd;


s: Who have heard Miss That or This, or Lady T'other,


s: Show off--to please their company or mother.


s: O! the long evenings of duets and trios!


s: The 'Mamma Mia's!' and the 'Amor Mio's!'


s: The 'Tanti palpiti's' on such occasions:


s: The 'Lasciami's,' and quavering 'Addio's!'


s: Amongst our own most musical of nations;


s: To soothe our ears, lest Italy should fail.


s: Heart-ballads of Green Erin or Gray Highlands,


s: That bring Lochaber back to eyes that roam


s: O'er far Atlantic continents or islands,


s: All mountaineers with dreams that they are nigh lands,


s: No more to be beheld but in such visions--


s: Was Adeline well versed, as compositions.


s: She also had a twilight tinge of 'Blue,'


s: Could write rhymes, and compose more than she wrote,


s: So much the present dye, she was remote;


s: Was weak enough to deem Pope a great poet,


s: And what was worse, was not ashamed to show it.


s: Aurora--since we are touching upon taste,


s: By whose degrees all characters are class'd--


s: The worlds beyond this world's perplexing waste


s: Thoughts, boundless, deep, but silent too as Space.


s: Not so her gracious, graceful, graceless Grace,


s: The full-grown Hebe of Fitz-Fulke, whose mind,


s: A little turn for mischief you might trace


s: Also thereon,--but that 's not much; we find


s: Few females without some such gentle leaven,


s: For fear we should suppose us quite in heaven.


s: Though once she was seen reading the 'Bath Guide,'


s: And 'Hayley's Triumphs,' which she deem'd pathetic,


s: Because she said her temper had been tried


s: So much, the bard had really been prophetic


s: Of what she had gone through with--since a bride.


s: But of all verse, what most ensured her praise


s: Were sonnets to herself, or 'bouts rimes.'


s: 'T were difficult to say what was the object


s: To bear on what appear'd to her the subject


s: Perhaps she merely had the simple project


s: To laugh him out of his supposed dismay;


s: Perhaps she might wish to confirm him in it,


s: Though why I cannot say--at least this minute.


s: Was to restore him to his self-propriety,


s: Who wish to take the tone of their society:


s: Whether the mode be persiflage or piety,


s: But wear the newest mantle of hypocrisy,


s: On pain of much displeasing the gynocracy.


s: His spirits, and without more explanation


s: To jest upon such themes in many a sally.


s: Her Grace, too, also seized the same occasion,


s: But wish'd for a still more detail'd narration


s: Of this same mystic friar's curious doings,


s: About the present family's deaths and wooings.


s: Of these few could say more than has been said;


s: They pass'd as such things do, for superstition


s: With some, while others, who had more in dread


s: The theme, half credited the strange tradition;


s: And much was talk'd on all sides on that head:


s: But Juan, when cross-question'd on the vision,


s: Which some supposed (though he had not avow'd it)


s: Had stirr'd him, answer'd in a way to cloud it.


s: And then, the mid-day having worn to one,


s: Some to their several pastimes, or to none,


s: Some wondering 't was so early, some so late.


s: Between some greyhounds on my lord's estate,


s: Match'd for the spring, whom several went to see.


s: There was a picture-dealer who had brought


s: So precious that it was not to be bought,


s: Though princes the possessor were besieging all.


s: The king himself had cheapen'd it, but thought


s: The civil list he deigns to accept (obliging all


s: His subjects by his gracious acceptation)


s: Too scanty, in these times of low taxation.


s: The friend of artists, if not arts,--the owner,


s: With motives the most classical and pure,


s: So that he would have been the very donor,


s: Rather than seller, had his wants been fewer,


s: So much he deem'd his patronage an honour,


s: Had brought the capo d'opera, not for sale,


s: But for his judgment--never known to fail.


s: There was a modern Goth, I mean a Gothic


s: Bricklayer of Babel, call'd an architect,


s: Brought to survey these grey walls, which though so thick,


s: Might have from time acquired some slight defect;


s: Who after rummaging the Abbey through thick


s: And thin, produced a plan whereby to erect


s: New buildings of correctest conformation,


s: And throw down old--which he call'd restoration.


s: The cost would be a trifle--an 'old song,'


s: Set to some thousands ('t is the usual burden


s: Of that same tune, when people hum it long)--


s: The price would speedily repay its worth in


s: By which Lord Henry's good taste would go forth in


s: Its glory, through all ages shining sunny,


s: For Gothic daring shown in English money.


s: There were two lawyers busy on a mortgage


s: Lord Henry wish'd to raise for a new purchase;


s: And one on tithes, which sure are Discord's torches,


s: Kindling Religion till she throws down her gage,


s: 'Untying' squires 'to fight against the churches;'


s: There was a prize ox, a prize pig, and ploughman,


s: There were two poachers caught in a steel trap,


s: Ready for gaol, their place of convalescence;


s: And scarlet cloak (I hate the sight to see, since--


s: Since--since--in youth, I had the sad mishap--


s: But luckily I have paid few parish fees since):


s: That scarlet cloak, alas! unclosed with rigour,


s: Presents the problem of a double figure.


s: One can't tell how it e'er got in or out;


s: Therefore the present piece of natural history


s: I leave to those who are fond of solving doubt;


s: And merely state, though not for the consistory,


s: Lord Henry was a justice, and that Scout


s: The constable, beneath a warrant's banner,


s: Had bagg'd this poacher upon Nature's manor.


s: Now justices of peace must judge all pieces


s: Of mischief of all kinds, and keep the game


s: Of those who have not a license for the same;


s: And of all things, excepting tithes and leases,


s: Perhaps these are most difficult to tame:


s: Preserving partridges and pretty wenches


s: Are puzzles to the most precautious benches.


s: Pale as if painted so; her cheek being red


s: 'T is white, at least when they just rise from bed.


s: Perhaps she was ashamed of seeming frail,


s: Poor soul! for she was country born and bred,


s: Than to wax white--for blushes are for quality.


s: Her black, bright, downcast, yet espiegle eye,


s: Had gather'd a large tear into its corner,


s: Which the poor thing at times essay'd to dry,


s: Nor insolent enough to scorn the scorner,


s: But stood in trembling, patient tribulation,


s: Of course these groups were scatter'd here and there,


s: The prize pig, ploughman, poachers; the men sent


s: From town, viz., architect and dealer, were


s: Writing despatches) in their several stations,


s: Exulting in their brilliant lucubrations.


s: But this poor girl was left in the great hall,


s: While Scout, the parish guardian of the frail,


s: Discuss'd (he hated beer yclept the 'small')


s: Its kind attentions to their proper pale,


s: Perplexing for most virgins--a child's father.


s: For the Lord Henry, link'd with dogs and horses.


s: There was much bustle too, and preparation


s: Below stairs on the score of second courses;


s: Because, as suits their rank and situation,


s: Those who in counties have great land resources


s: Have 'Public days,' when all men may carouse,


s: Though not exactly what 's call'd 'open house.'


s: (Thus we translate a general invitation),


s: All country gentlemen, esquired or knighted,


s: May drop in without cards, and take their station


s: At the full board, and sit alike delighted


s: With fashionable wines and conversation;


s: And, as the isthmus of the grand connection,


s: Talk o'er themselves the past and next election.


s: Burrowing for boroughs like a rat or rabbit;


s: But county contests cost him rather dearer,


s: Because the neighbouring Scotch Earl of Giftgabbit


s: Had English influence in the self-same sphere here;


s: Was member for the 'other interest' (meaning


s: The same self-interest, with a different leaning).


s: Courteous and cautious therefore in his county,


s: He was all things to all men, and dispensed


s: And promises to all--which last commenced


s: To gather to a somewhat large amount, he


s: Not calculating how much they condensed;


s: But what with keeping some, and breaking others,


s: His word had the same value as another's.


s: A friend to freedom and freeholders--yet


s: No less a friend to government--he held,


s: 'Twixt place and patriotism--albeit compell'd,


s: Such was his sovereign's pleasure (though unfit,


s: To hold some sinecures he wish'd abolish'd,


s: But that with them all law would be demolish'd.


s: He was 'free to confess' (whence comes this phrase?


s: Is 't English? No--'t is only parliamentary)


s: Had made more progress than for the last century.


s: He would not tread a factious path to praise,


s: Though for the public weal disposed to venture high;


s: As for his place, he could but say this of it,


s: That the fatigue was greater than the profit.


s: Heaven, and his friends, knew that a private life


s: Had ever been his sole and whole ambition;


s: But could he quit his king in times of strife,


s: Which threaten'd the whole country with perdition?


s: When demagogues would with a butcher's knife


s: Cut through and through (oh! damnable incision!)


s: The Gordian or the Geordi-an knot, whose strings


s: Have tied together commons, lords, and kings.


s: And champion him to the utmost'--he would keep it,


s: Profit he care not for, let others reap it;


s: But should the day come when place ceased to exist,


s: The country would have far more cause to weep it:


s: For how could it go on? Explain who can!


s: Than those who were not paid for independence,


s: Have in their several arts or parts ascendance


s: Who do not give professional attendance.


s: Thus on the mob all statesmen are as eager


s: To prove their pride, as footmen to a beggar.


s: All this (save the last stanza) Henry said,


s: And thought. I say no more--I 've said too much;


s: For all of us have either heard or read--


s: Off--or upon the hustings--some slight such


s: Hints from the independent heart or head


s: No more on this--the dinner-bell hath rung,


s: And grace is said; the grace I should have sung--


s: But I 'm too late, and therefore must make play.


s: 'T was a great banquet, such as Albion old


s: Was wont to boast--as if a glutton's tray


s: But 't was a public feast and public day,--


s: Quite full, right dull, guests hot, and dishes cold,


s: Great plenty, much formality, small cheer,


s: My lords and ladies proudly condescending;


s: Their plates--without it might be too much bending


s: From their high places by the sideboard's stand--


s: Yet, like their masters, fearful of offending.


s: Might cost both man and master too--their places.


s: There were some hunters bold, and coursers keen,


s: Whose hounds ne'er err'd, nor greyhounds deign'd to lurch;


s: Some deadly shots too, Septembrizers, seen


s: Earliest to rise, and last to quit the search


s: Of the poor partridge through his stubble screen.


s: There were some massy members of the church,


s: Takers of tithes, and makers of good matches,


s: And several who sung fewer psalms than catches.


s: There were some country wags too--and, alas!


s: Some exiles from the town, who had been driven


s: To gaze, instead of pavement, upon grass,


s: And rise at nine in lieu of long eleven.


s: I sate next that o'erwhelming son of heaven,


s: The loudest wit I e'er was deafen'd with.


s: A brilliant diner out, though but a curate;


s: And not a joke he cut but earn'd its praise,


s: (O Providence! how wondrous are thy ways!


s: Who would suppose thy gifts sometimes obdurate?),


s: Gave him, to lay the devil who looks o'er Lincoln,


s: A fat fen vicarage, and nought to think on.


s: His jokes were sermons, and his sermons jokes;


s: But both were thrown away amongst the fens;


s: For wit hath no great friend in aguish folks.


s: No longer ready ears and short-hand pens


s: The poor priest was reduced to common sense,


s: Or to coarse efforts very loud and long,


s: To hammer a horse laugh from the thick throng.


s: There is a difference, says the song, 'between


s: The latter worse used of the two we 've seen--


s: But we 'll say nothing of affairs of state);


s: A difference ''twixt a bishop and a dean,'


s: A difference between crockery ware and plate,


s: As between English beef and Spartan broth--


s: And yet great heroes have been bred by both.


s: Upon the whole is greater than the difference


s: Beheld between the country and the town,


s: Of which the latter merits every preference


s: From those who have few resources of their own,


s: And only think, or act, or feel, with reference


s: To some small plan of interest or ambition--


s: But 'en avant!' The light loves languish o'er


s: Long banquets and too many guests, although


s: A slight repast makes people love much more,


s: Even from our grammar upwards, friends of yore


s: To these the invention of champagne and truffles:


s: Temperance delights her, but long fasting ruffles.


s: And Juan took his place, he knew not where,


s: Confused, in the confusion, and distrait,


s: And sitting as if nail'd upon his chair:


s: Though knives and forks clank'd round as in a fray,


s: He seem'd unconscious of all passing there,


s: Till some one, with a groan, exprest a wish


s: On which, at the third asking of the bans,


s: He started; and perceiving smiles around


s: Broadening to grins, he colour'd more than once,


s: A wise man more than laughter from a dunce--


s: And with such hurry, that ere he could curb it


s: He had paid his neighbour's prayer with half a turbot.


s: This was no bad mistake, as it occurr'd,


s: But others, who were left with scarce a third,


s: Were angry--as they well might, to be sure.


s: And this, and his not knowing how much oats


s: Had fallen last market, cost his host three votes.


s: They little knew, or might have sympathised,


s: That he the night before had seen a ghost,


s: A prologue which but slightly harmonised


s: That one scarce knew at what to marvel most


s: Of two things--how (the question rather odd is)


s: Such bodies could have souls, or souls such bodies.


s: But what confused him more than smile or stare


s: From all the 'squires and 'squiresses around,


s: Who wonder'd at the abstraction of his air,


s: Even in the country circle's narrow bound


s: (For little things upon my lord's estate


s: Were good small talk for others still less great)--


s: Was, that he caught Aurora's eye on his,


s: And something like a smile upon her cheek.


s: In those who rarely smile, their smiles bespeak


s: Smile of Aurora's there was nought to pique


s: Which some pretend to trace in ladies' smiles.


s: 'T was a mere quiet smile of contemplation,


s: Which was not very wise, and still less witty,


s: Since he had gain'd at least her observation,


s: As Juan should have known, had not his senses


s: By last night's ghost been driven from their defences.


s: But what was bad, she did not blush in turn,


s: Nor seem embarrass'd--quite the contrary;


s: Her aspect was as usual, still--not stern--


s: And she withdrew, but cast not down, her eye,


s: Yet grew a little pale--with what? concern?


s: I know not; but her colour ne'er was high--


s: Though sometimes faintly flush'd--and always clear,


s: This day; and watching, witching, condescending


s: To the consumers of fish, fowl, and game,


s: As all must blend whose part it is to aim


s: (Especially as the sixth year is ending)


s: At their lord's, son's, or similar connection's


s: Safe conduct through the rocks of re-elections.


s: Though this was most expedient on the whole,


s: On Adeline while playing her grand role,


s: Which she went through as though it were a dance,


s: Some doubt how much of Adeline was real;


s: By turns--with that vivacious versatility,


s: Which many people take for want of heart.


s: They err--'t is merely what is call'd mobility,


s: Though seeming so, from its supposed facility;


s: And false--though true; for surely they 're sincerest


s: Who are strongly acted on by what is nearest.


s: This makes your actors, artists, and romancers,


s: Heroes sometimes, though seldom--sages never;


s: But speakers, bards, diplomatists, and dancers,


s: Little that 's great, but much of what is clever;


s: Though all Exchequer chancellors endeavour,


s: Of late years, to dispense with Cocker's rigours,


s: And grow quite figurative with their figures.


s: Who, though they prove not two and two to be


s: Have plainly made it out that four are three,


s: Judging by what they take, and what they pay.


s: The debt unsunk, yet sinks all it receives.


s: While Adeline dispensed her airs and graces,


s: The fair Fitz-Fulke seem'd very much at ease;


s: Though too well bred to quiz men to their faces,


s: Her laughing blue eyes with a glance could seize


s: And store it up for mischievous enjoyment;


s: And this at present was her kind employment.


s: However, the day closed, as days must close;


s: The evening also waned--and coffee came.


s: Each carriage was announced, and ladies rose,


s: And curtsying off, as curtsies country dame,


s: Their docile esquires also did the same,


s: Delighted with their dinner and their host,


s: Some praised her beauty; others her great grace;


s: The warmth of her politeness, whose sincerity


s: Was obvious in each feature of her face,


s: Whose traits were radiant with the rays of verity.


s: Yes; she was truly worthy her high place!


s: No one could envy her deserved prosperity.


s: And then her dress--what beautiful simplicity


s: Draperied her form with curious felicity!


s: Meanwhile Sweet Adeline deserved their praises,


s: For all her past exertion and soft phrases,


s: Which turn'd upon their late guests' miens and faces,


s: And families, even to the last relation;


s: Their hideous wives, their horrid selves and dresses,


s: And truculent distortion of their tresses.


s: True, she said little--'t was the rest that broke


s: But then 't was to the purpose what she spoke:


s: Like Addison's 'faint praise,' so wont to damn,


s: Her own but served to set off every joke,


s: How sweet the task to shield an absent friend!


s: There were but two exceptions to this keen


s: In gay remark on what he had heard or seen,


s: Sate silent now, his usual spirits gone:


s: In vain he heard the others rail or rally,


s: He would not join them in a single sally.


s: She approved his silence; she perhaps mistook


s: But seldom pay the absent, nor would look


s: Yet saw this much, which he was glad to see.


s: The ghost at least had done him this much good,


s: He gain'd esteem where it was worth the most.


s: In him some feelings he had lately lost,


s: Or harden'd; feelings which, perhaps ideal,


s: Are so divine, that I must deem them real:--


s: The love of higher things and better days;


s: The unbounded hope, and heavenly ignorance


s: Of what is call'd the world, and the world's ways;


s: The moments when we gather from a glance