s: Sat looking out upon the twilight scene,


s: In dreamy silence. Helen's dark blue eyes,


s: Like two lost stars that wandered from the skies


s: Some night adown the meteor's shining track,


s: And always had been grieving to go back,


s: Now gazed up, wistfully, at heaven's dome,


s: And seemed to recognize and long for home.


s: Her sweet voice broke the silence: "Wish, Maurine,


s: Before you speak! you know the moon is new,


s: And anything you wish for will come true


s: Now tell me your wish, and I'll tell you mine."


s: I turned and looked up at the slim young moon;


s: And, with an almost superstitious heart,


s: I sighed, "Oh, new moon! help me, by thine art,


s: To grow all grace and goodness, and to be


s: Worthy the love a true heart proffers me."


s: Then smiling down, I said, "Dear one! my boon,


s: I'll listen now to your wish. Tell me, please!"


s: And hid her blushing face upon my knees.


s: Then drew my hand against her glowing cheek,


s: And, leaning on my breast, began to speak,


s: Half sighing out the words my tortured ear


s: Reached down to catch, while striving not to hear.


s: "Can you not guess who 'twas about, Maurine?


s: Oh, my sweet friend! you must ere this have seen


s: And from myself. Ah, foolish little heart!


s: As well it might go seeking for some art


s: Whereby to hide the sun in noonday skies.


s: When first the strange sound of his voice I heard,


s: Looked on his noble face, and touched his hand,


s: My slumb'ring heart thrilled through and through, and stirred


s: And day by day mine eyes were blest beholding


s: In countless words and actions, that portrayed


s: The noble stuff of which his soul was made.


s: And more and more I felt my heart upreaching


s: Toward the truth, drawn gently by his teaching,


s: As flowers are drawn by sunlight. And there grew


s: A strange, shy something in its depths, I knew


s: At length was love, because it was so sad,


s: And yet so sweet, and made my heart so glad,


s: Yet seemed to pain me. Then, for very shame,


s: Lest all should read my secret and its name.


s: Where God could see it only. But each day


s: It seemed to grow within me, and would rise,


s: Like my own soul, and look forth from my eyes,


s: Defying bonds of silence; and would speak,


s: In its red-lettered language, on my cheek,


s: If but his name was uttered. You were kind,


s: So long the sharer of my heart and mind,


s: While yet you saw, in seeming not to see.


s: In all the years we have been friends, my own.


s: It has not shared at once, in full, with you


s: And I so longed to speak to you of this,


s: When first I felt its mingled pain and bliss;


s: Yet dared not, lest you, knowing him, should say,


s: Can win the love of such a lofty heart.'


s: Till I could know I did not love in vain.


s: Did he not say, 'If she I hold most dear


s: Slipped from my life, and no least hope were left,


s: My heart would find the years more lonely here


s: Than if I were of wealth, fame, friends, bereft,


s: Oh, darling, you must _love_, to understand


s: The joy that thrilled all through me at those words.


s: Within my heart broke forth in notes of praise.


s: Was on my face, and that his eyes must see


s: He loves me--loves me! so the birds kept singing,


s: And all my soul with that sweet strain is ringing.


s: If there were added but one drop of bliss,


s: No more my cup would hold: and so, this eve,


s: I made a wish that I might feel his kiss


s: Upon my lips, ere yon pale moon should leave


s: The stars all lonely, having waned away,


s: Too old and weak and bowed with care to stay."


s: Her voice sighed into silence. While she spoke


s: My heart writhed in me, praying she would cease--


s: Each word she uttered falling like a stroke


s: On my bare soul. And now a hush like death,


s: Save that 'twas broken by a quick-drawn breath,


s: Fell 'round me, but brought not the hoped-for peace.


s: For when the lash no longer leaves its blows,


s: The flesh still quivers, and the blood still flows.


s: And 'neath her head my tortured heart throbbed wild


s: With pain and pity. She had told her tale--


s: So fair, and sweet, and lily-like, and frail--


s: "Nay, you are wrong--you do mistake, dear friend!


s: 'Tis I am loved, not you"? Yet that were truth,


s: And spread a ghastly pallor o'er the cheek


s: Flushed now with joy?--And while I, doubting, pondered,


s: She spoke again. "Maurine! I oft have wondered


s: Is all a heart could ask its king to be;


s: And you have beauty, intellect and youth.


s: I think it strange you have not loved each other--


s: Strange how he could pass by you for another


s: I think my heart has known him all these years,


s: I should have recognized him, all the same,


s: As my soul-mate, and loved him to the end,


s: Hiding my grief, and forcing back my tears


s: Till on my heart, slow dropping, day by day,


s: With all the largeness of his love, for me--


s: To grow in grace and goodness, and to lift


s: Sweet friend, it fills my whole heart with delight


s: To breathe its long hid secret in your ear.


s: Speak, my Maurine, and say you love to hear!"


s: The while she spoke, my active brain gave rise


s: To one great thought of mighty sacrifice


s: And self-denial. Oh! it blanched my cheek,


s: And wrung my soul; and from my heart it drove


s: All life and feeling. Coward-like, I strove


s: And hold fast on my mind like some live thing;


s: And all the Self within me felt its touch


s: And cried, "No, no! I cannot do so much--


s: I am not strong enough--there is no call."


s: And then the voice of Helen bade me speak,


s: And with a calmness born of nerve, I said,


s: Scarce knowing what I uttered, "Sweetheart, all


s: Your joys and sorrows are with mine own wed.


s: I thank you for your confidence, and pray


s: Something--perhaps our boat-ride in the sun,


s: We'll talk of this together. Now good night


s: And angels guard you with their wings of light."


s: I kissed her lips, and held her on my heart,


s: And viewed her as I ne'er had done before.


s: I gazed upon her features o'er and o'er;


s: Marked her white, tender face--her fragile form,


s: Like some frail plant that withers in the storm;


s: Than e'er before; and thought, "Can I destroy


s: God's handiwork, or leave it at the best


s: A broken harp, while I close clasp my bliss?"


s: I bent my head and gave her one last kiss,


s: And sought my room, and found there such relief


s: As sad hearts feel when first alone with grief.


s: The moon went down, slow sailing from my sight,


s: And left the stars to watch away the night.


s: O stars, sweet stars, so changeless and serene!


s: What depths of woe your pitying eyes have seen!


s: The proud sun sets, and leaves us with our sorrow,


s: To grope alone in darkness till the morrow.


s: The languid moon, e'en if she deigns to rise,


s: Soon seeks her couch, grown weary of our sighs;


s: But from the early gloaming till the day


s: Sends golden-liveried heralds forth to say


s: He comes in might; the patient stars shine on,


s: Steadfast and faithful, from twilight to dawn.


s: And watched the struggle of a God-like soul,


s: Now from the same far height they shone on me,


s: And saw the waves of anguish o'er me roll.


s: I floated with the current of the stream,


s: And thought life all one golden-haloed dream.


s: Swept swift upon its devastating course,


s: Wrecked my frail bark, and cast me on the wave


s: Where all my hopes had found a sudden grave.


s: Love makes us blind and selfish: otherwise


s: In her sweet face, as I would read a book.


s: But now, made sightless by love's blinding rays,


s: Where Pain dispelled the mist of golden haze


s: That walled me in, and lo! I found my friend


s: Had been sore wounded to the heart, while I


s: Both deaf and blind, saw not, nor heard her cry.


s: And then I sobbed, "O God! I would have died


s: To save her this." And as I cried in pain,


s: There leaped forth from the still, white realm of Thought


s: Where Conscience dwells, that unimpassioned spot


s: As widely different from the heart's domain


s: As north from south--the impulse felt before,


s: And put away; but now it rose once more,


s: In greater strength, and said, "Heart, would'st thou prove


s: What lips have uttered? Then go lay thy love


s: On Friendship's altar, as thy offering."


s: "Nay!" cried my heart, "ask any other thing--


s: Ask life itself--'twere easier sacrifice.


s: But ask not love, for that I cannot give."


s: "But," spoke the voice, "the meanest insect dies,


s: When all that makes life sweet is snatched away."


s: So with my heart, in converse, till the day


s: In gold and crimson billows, rose and broke,


s: The voice of Conscience, all unwearied, spoke.


s: Love warred with Friendship: heart with Conscience fought,


s: Hours rolled away, and yet the end was not.


s: And wily Self, tricked out like tenderness,


s: Sighed, "Think how one, whose life thou wert to bless,


s: Will be cast down, and grope in doubt and fear!


s: Wouldst thou wound him, to give thy friend relief?


s: And Time can heal the saddest hurts of Love.


s: While Friendship's wounds gape wide and yet more wide,


s: And bitter fountains of the spirit prove."


s: At length, exhausted with the wearing strife,


s: On God's broad breast, and sought that deep repose


s: That only he who watched with sorrow knows.


s: "Maurine, Maurine! 'tis ten o'clock! arise,


s: My pretty sluggard! open those dark eyes,


s: And see where yonder sun is! Do you know


s: 'T was Helen's voice: and Helen's gentle kiss


s: I drew my weary self from that strange sleep


s: That rests not, nor refreshes. Scarce awake


s: Or conscious, yet there seemed a heavy weight


s: I knew not why, and yet I longed to weep.


s: Some dark cloud seemed to hang upon the day;


s: And, for a moment, in that trance I lay,


s: When suddenly the truth did o'er me break,


s: Like some great wave upon a helpless child.


s: The dull pain in my breast grew like a knife--


s: The heavy throbbing of my heart grew wild,


s: And God gave back the burden of the life


s: Cried Helen, "with that blinding headache still!


s: Play nurse, Maurine, and care for you to-day!


s: And first I'll suit some dainty to your taste,


s: And bring it to you, with a cup of tea."


s: But, wanting most the sunshine and the light,


s: I left my couch, and clothed myself in haste,


s: And, kneeling, sent to God an earnest cry


s: Where duty leads; for I am blind! my sight


s: Obscured by self. Oh, lead my steps aright!


s: Let this cup pass:--and yet Thou heavenly One


s: Thy will in all things, not mine own, be done."


s: The strength prayer gives alway to hearts believing.


s: I felt that unseen hands were leading me,


s: Cried Helen, coming with a tray, and cup,


s: Of tender toast, and fragrant smoking tea.


s: "You naughty girl! you should have stayed in bed


s: Until you ate your breakfast, and were better


s: I've something hidden for you here--a letter.


s: But drink your tea before you read it, dear!


s: 'Tis from some distant cousin, Auntie said,


s: And loitered at my breakfast more to please


s: Then listlessly I broke the seal and read


s: The few lines written in a bold free hand:


s: (In spite of generations stretched between


s: Our natural right to that most handy claim


s: Of cousinship, we'll use it all the same)


s: I'm coming to see you! honestly, in truth!


s: I've threatened often--now I mean to act.


s: You'll find my coming is a stubborn fact.


s: Keep quiet though, and do not tell Aunt Ruth


s: Your faithful friend, and loving cousin, Roy."


s: As boy and girl, and later, youth and maid,


s: Full half our lives together. He had been,


s: Gave both kind shelter. Swift years sped away


s: Ere change was felt: and then one summer day


s: A long lost uncle sailed from India's shore--


s: Made Roy his heir, and he was ours no more.


s: "He'd write us daily, and we'd see his face


s: Once every year." Such was his promise given


s: The morn he left. But now the years were seven


s: Since last he looked upon the olden place.


s: He'd been through college, traveled in all lands,


s: Sailed over seas, and trod the desert sands.


s: Would write and plan a visit, then, ere long,


s: Some fancy called him thither unforeseen.


s: So years had passed, till seven lay between


s: To Aunt Ruth's queries, "What the truant wrote?"


s: And merely dropped a line, while journeying,


s: Sometimes it happens, in this world so strange,


s: A human heart will pass through mortal strife,


s: And writhe in torture: while the old sweet life


s: So full of hope, and beauty, bloom and grace,


s: Is slowly strangled by remorseless Pain:


s: And one stern, cold, relentless, takes its place--


s: Yet those in daily converse see no change


s: Stern duty pointed, and no mortal guessed


s: A mighty conflict had disturbed my breast.


s: The man I loved. Since she, too, loved him so


s: She was so weak and fragile, once bereft


s: Of this great hope, that held her with such power


s: She would wilt down, like some frost-bitten flower


s: And swift untimely death would be the end.


s: But I was strong: and hardy plants, which grow


s: In out-door soil, can bear bleak winds that blow


s: From Arctic lands, whereof a single breath


s: Would lay the hot-house blossom low in death.


s: The hours went by, too slow, and yet too fast.


s: That bade me play the shrinking coward's part


s: And hide from pain. And when the day had past


s: And time for Vivian's call drew near and nearer,


s: It pleaded. "Wait, until the way seems clearer:


s: Until you gather strength enough to play


s: Made answer clear-eyed Reason, "Do you go


s: Is but a still born babe of Thought, until


s: It proves existence of its life and will


s: And knelt by me, her fair face all aflame


s: With sudden blushes, whispering, "My sweet!


s: My heart can hear the music of his feet--


s: And went with her all calmly, as one goes


s: That eve, I know not what I did or said.


s: I was not cold--my manner was not strange:


s: Perchance I talked more freely than my wont,


s: But in my speech was naught could give affront;


s: That nameless _something_, which bespeaks a change.


s: Whole-souled and noble, free from coquetry--


s: Her motives all unselfish, worthy, good,


s: By nameless acts--thus sparing what to man,


s: The offering of his hand and heart in vain.


s: She can be friendly, unrestrained, and kind,


s: But in her voice, her manner, and her glance,


s: Convey that mystic something, undefined,


s: Which men fail not to understand and read,


s: My task was harder. 'T was the slow undoing


s: Of long sweet months of unimpeded wooing.


s: The truth--assuming, what I did not feel.


s: That blessed me with its hopeful, tuneful tone,


s: By feigned indiff'rence, till it turned aside,


s: And changed its channel, leaving me alone


s: To walk parched plains, and thirst for that sweet draught


s: My lips had tasted, but another quaffed.


s: It could be done. For no words yet were spoken--


s: None to recall--no pledges to be broken.


s: "He will be grieved, then angry, cold, then cross,"


s: I reasoned, thinking what would be his part


s: In this strange drama. "Then, because his he


s: Feels something lacking, to make good his loss,


s: He'll turn to Helen: and her gentle grace


s: And loving acts will win her soon the place


s: I hold to-day: and like a troubled dream


s: At length, our past, when he looks back, will seem."


s: That evening passed with music, chat and song:


s: But hours that once had flown on airy wings


s: Now limped on weary, aching limbs along,


s: Each moment like some dreaded step that brings


s: Slow bending to me, from his greater height,


s: He took my hand, and, looking in my eyes,


s: With tender questioning and pained surprise,


s: Said, "Maurine, you are not yourself to-night!


s: I answered, laughing lightly, "I am not:


s: Just see my cheek, sir! is it thin, or pale?


s: "Nay, nay!" he answered, "it can not be _seen_,


s: The change I speak of--'twas more in your mien:


s: Seem to have something on her mind this eve?"


s: "She does!" laughed Helen, "and I do believe


s: Close to her heart, not knowing I was near:


s: And since she's been as you have seen her here.


s: We must believe has struck a tender spot."


s: Her rippling laughter floated through the room,


s: And redder yet I felt the hot blood rise,


s: Then surge away to leave me pale as death,


s: Under the dark and swiftly gathering gloom


s: That searched my soul. I almost shrieked beneath


s: That stern, fixed gaze; and stood spellbound until


s: He turned with sudden movement, gave his hand


s: To each in turn, and said, "You must not stand


s: Longer, young ladies, in this open door.


s: The air is heavy with a cold damp chill.


s: We shall have rain to-morrow, or before.


s: And so the dreaded evening found an end,


s: That saw me grasp the conscience-whetted blade,


s: And strike a blow for honor and for friend.


s: "How swiftly passed the evening!" Helen sighed.


s: "How long the hours!" my tortured heart replied.


s: Joy, like a child, with lightsome steps doth glide


s: By Father Time, and, looking in his face,


s: Cries, snatching blossoms from the fair road-side,


s: "I could pluck more, but for thy hurried pace."


s: The while her elder brother Pain, man grown,


s: Whose feet are hurt by many a thorn and stone,


s: Looks to some distant hill-top, high and calm,


s: Where he shall find not only rest, but balm


s: For all his wounds, and cries in tones of woe,


s: "O Father Time! why is thy pace so slow?"


s: Two days, all sad with lonely wind and rain,


s: Went sobbing by, repeating o'er and o'er


s: Which every human heart must sometime hear.


s: Whate'er the words are, is for aye the same.


s: The third day brought a change: for with it came


s: But Roy, our Roy came back to us. Once more


s: We looked into his laughing, handsome eyes,


s: Which, while they gave Aunt Ruth a glad surprise


s: In no way puzzled her: for one glance told


s: What each succeeding one confirmed, that he


s: Who bent above her with the lissome grace


s: Of his fine form, though grown so tall, could be


s: So much of sunshine with him, that I caught,


s: Just from his smile alone, enough of gladness


s: To make my heart forget a time its sadness.


s: We talked together of the dear old days:


s: Leaving the present, with its depths and heights


s: I turned back to my childhood's level land,


s: And Roy and I, dear playmates, hand in hand,


s: Wandered in mem'ry, through the olden ways.


s: It was the second evening of his coming.


s: Some wordless melody of white-souled thought,


s: My eyes were glowing, and my cheeks were hot


s: With warm young blood; excitement, joy, or pain


s: Alike would send swift coursing through each vein.


s: Some old adventure of those halcyon days,


s: I heard a well-known step upon the walk,


s: And looked up quickly to meet full in mine


s: Shot from their depths:--a sudden blaze of light


s: Like that swift followed by the thunder's crash,


s: Which said, "Suspicion is confirmed by sight,"


s: As they fell on the pleasant door-way scene.


s: Then o'er his clear-cut face, a cold white look


s: Crept, like the pallid moonlight o'er a brook,


s: And, with a slight, proud bending of the head,


s: He stepped toward us haughtily and said,


s: "Please pardon my intrusion, Miss Maurine:


s: She spoke of lending me: nay, sit you still!


s: And I, by grant of your permission, will


s: I said, "one moment, Vivian, if you please;"


s: And scarcely knowing what to do, or say,


s: And some way made each to the other known


s: They bowed, shook hands: then Vivian turned away


s: "One of Miss Trevor's, or of Maurine's beaux?


s: Which may he be, who cometh like a prince


s: With haughty bearing, and an eagle eye?"


s: Roy queried, laughing: and I answered, "Since


s: You saw him pass me for Miss Trevor's side,


s: I leave your own good judgment to reply."


s: And straightway caused the tide of talk to glide


s: The sudden gloom that o'er my spirit fell.


s: When Conscience tries our courage with a test,


s: And points to some steep pathway, we set out


s: But pause before the first rock in the way,


s: And, looking back, with tears, at Conscience, say


s: "We are so sad, dear Conscience! for we would


s: Most gladly do what to thee seemeth good;


s: But lo! this rock! we cannot climb it, so


s: Thou must point out some other way to go."


s: When right before our faces, as we stand


s: In seeming grief, the rock is cleft in twain,


s: Leaving the pathway clear, we shrink in pain!


s: What we so tried from Conscience to conceal.


s: I saw that hour, the way made plain, to do


s: With scarce an effort, what had seemed a strife


s: That would require the strength of my whole life.


s: Women have quick perceptions: and I knew


s: That Vivian's heart was full of jealous pain,


s: Suspecting--nay _believing_ Roy Montaine


s: To be my lover.--First my altered mien--


s: And next the letter--then the door-way scene--


s: That bent so near me, and my strange confusion


s: When Vivian came, all led to one conclusion:


s: That I had but been playing with his love,


s: With hearts when their true lovers are away.


s: There could be nothing easier, than just


s: Should turn to scorn and anger all his grief.


s: Compared with me, so doubly sweet and pure


s: Would Helen seem, my purpose would be sure,


s: But now, the way was made so straight and clear,


s: My coward heart shrank back in guilty fear,


s: Till Conscience whispered with her "still small voice,"


s: "The precious time is passing--make thy choice--


s: Resign thy love, or slay thy trusting friend."


s: The growing moon, watched by the myriad eyes


s: Of countless stars, went sailing through the skies,


s: Like some young prince, rising to rule a nation,


s: To whom all eyes are turned in expectation.


s: And strength of will can take the hand of doom,


s: And walk on, smiling sweetly as she goes,


s: With rosy lips, and rounded cheeks of bloom,


s: Cheating a loud-tongued world that never knows


s: The pain and sorrow of her hidden heart.


s: And so I joined in Roy's bright changing chat;


s: Answered his sallies--talked of this and that,


s: My brow unruffled as the calm still wave


s: That tells not of the wrecked ship, and the grave


s: The sound of Helen's gentle voice in song,


s: And, rising, entered where the subtle power


s: Of Vivian's eyes, forgiving while accusing,


s: Finding me weak, had won me, in that hour;


s: Where ladies were, now hung about my chair


s: With nameless delicate attentions, using


s: That air devotional, and those small arts


s: And not myself he bowed to. Had my place


s: Twice his own age, he would have given her


s: The same attentions. But they served to vex


s: Whatever hope in Vivian's heart remained.


s: The cold, white look crept back upon his face,


s: Which told how deeply he was hurt and pained.


s: Little by little all things had conspired,


s: We were in constant intercourse: walks, rides,


s: Picnics and sails, filled weeks of golden weather,


s: And almost hourly we were thrown together.


s: No words were spoken of rebuke or scorn:


s: Good friends we seemed. But as a gulf divides


s: This land and that, though lying side by side,


s: So rolled a gulf between us--deep and wide--


s: The gulf of doubt, which widened slowly morn


s: These picnics and excursions. Yet, although


s: Helen and I would sometimes choose to go


s: Without our escorts, leaving them quite free.


s: Ere passed the day, while Vivian walked with her.


s: I had no thought of flirting. Roy was just


s: Like some dear brother, and I quite forgot


s: When there was some steep mountain side to climb,


s: And I grew weary, he would say, "Maurine,


s: Come rest you here." And I would go and lean


s: My head upon his shoulder, or would stand


s: And let him hold in his my willing hand.


s: The while he stroked it gently with his own.


s: Or I would let him clasp me with his arm,


s: In his suspicions. But ere long the truth


s: I learned in consternation! both Aunt Ruth


s: Some careless words might open Vivian's eyes


s: And spoil my plans. So reasoning in this wise,


s: To naught assented, and yet naught denied,


s: Each understood just what the other meant.


s: And self-imposed deception caused my heart


s: Sometimes to shrink, I needed but to gaze


s: On Helen's face: that wore a look ethereal,


s: As if she dwelt above the things material


s: I fed my strength and courage through the days.


s: What time the harvest moon rose full and clear


s: And cast its ling'ring radiance on the earth,


s: We made a feast; and called from far and near,


s: Our friends, who came to share the scene of mirth.


s: Fair forms and faces flitted to and fro;


s: But none more sweet than Helen's. Robed in white,


s: She floated like a vision through the dance.


s: She seemed like some stray spirit of the air,


s: And was pursued by many an anxious glance


s: That looked to see her fading from the sight


s: Like figures that a dreamer sees at night.


s: And noble men and gallants graced the scene:


s: Yet none more noble or more grand of mien


s: Than Vivian--broad of chest and shoulder, tall


s: Whose high-arched foot on Mount Olympus trod.


s: His clear-cut face was beardless; and, like those


s: Same Grecian statues, when in calm repose,


s: Was it in hue and feature. Framed in hair


s: Dark and abundant; lighted by large eyes


s: That could be cold as steel in winter air,


s: Of tripping feet, I sought a moment's rest


s: Within the lib'ry, where a group I found


s: Of guests, discussing with apparent zest


s: Some theme of interest--Vivian, near the while,


s: Leaning and listening with his slow odd smile.


s: "Now Miss La Pelle, we will appeal to you,"


s: Cried young Guy Semple, as I entered. "We


s: Have been discussing right before his face,


s: Compared with those who are like yon fair moon


s: Whether she's greeted by the flowers of June,


s: Or cold and dreary stretches of white space."


s: Look to your laurels! or you needs must yield


s: The crown to Semple, who, 'tis very plain,


s: Has mounted Pegasus and grasped his mane."


s: All laughed: and then, as Guy appealed to me


s: I answered lightly, "My young friend, I fear


s: To prove the truth of woman. To her place


s: The moon does rise--but with a different face


s: Each time she comes. But now I needs must hear


s: All clamored that the author was the man


s: To read the poem: and, with tones that said


s: More than the cutting, scornful words he read,


s: The love of strong hearts in sweet draughts


s: I knew the cold, fixed gaze of Vivian's eyes


s: But lightly answered, toying with my fan,


s: Men call us fickle, but they do us wrong;


s: We're only frail and helpless, men are strong;


s: And when love dies, they take the poor dead thing


s: And make a shroud out of their suffering,


s: And drag the corpse about with them for years.


s: But we?--we mourn it for a day with tears!


s: And then we robe it for its last long rest,


s: We cannot dig the grave ourselves. And so


s: We call strong-limbed New Love to lay it low:


s: To do this service for her earthly friends,


s: The trusty fellow digs the grave so deep


s: Nothing disturbs the dead laid there to sleep."


s: The laugh that followed had not died away


s: Ere Roy Montaine came seeking me, to say


s: The band was tuning for our waltz, and so


s: Back to the ball-room bore me. In the glow


s: And heat and whirl, my strength ere long was spent,


s: And, sitting there, Roy drew my languid head


s: Upon the shelter of his breast, and bent


s: And let me make some passes o'er your brow.


s: Why, how it throbs! you've exercised too much!


s: I shall not let you dance again to-night."


s: Just then before us, in the broad moonlight,


s: Two forms were mirrored: and I turned my face


s: To catch the teasing and mischievous glance


s: Of Helen's eyes, as, heated by the dance,


s: Leaning on Vivian's arm, she sought this place.


s: "I beg your pardon," came in that round tone


s: Of his low voice. "I think we do intrude."


s: Bowing, they turned, and left us quite alone


s: Ere I could speak, or change my attitude.


s: Four prancing steeds conveyed a laughing load


s: Of merry pleasure-seekers o'er the road.


s: Were in the programme. Skies were blue and clear,


s: And cool winds whispered of the Autumn near.


s: The merry-makers filled the time with pleasure:


s: Some floated to the music's rhythmic measure,


s: Some played, some promenaded on the green.


s: Ticked off by happy hearts, the moments passed.


s: The afternoon, all glow and glimmer, came.


s: Helen and Roy were leaders of some game,


s: I challenge you to climb yon cliff with me!


s: And who shall tire, or reach the summit last


s: Must pay a forfeit," cried a romping maid.


s: "Come! start at once, or own you are afraid."


s: So challenged I made ready for the race,


s: The victor's loss who made the rough ascent.


s: The cliff was steep and stony. On we went


s: And what we climbed for, glory and a name.


s: My hands were bruised; my garments sadly rent,


s: "Maurine! Maurine! my strength is wholly spent!


s: You've won the boots! I'm going back--good bye!"


s: And back she turned, in spite of laugh and jeer.


s: Save some sad birds that wheeled and circled near,


s: I found far sweeter than the scene below.


s: I mixed with th' unthinking throngs of men.


s: Some flowers that decked the barren, sterile place


s: I plucked, and read the lesson they conveyed,


s: That in our lives, albeit dark with shade


s: And rough and hard with labor, yet may grow


s: The flowers of Patience, Sympathy, and Grace.


s: A serpent writhed across my pathway; not


s: A large or deadly serpent; yet the sight


s: Filled me with ghastly terror and affright.


s: I shrieked aloud: a darkness veiled my eyes--


s: And I fell fainting 'neath the watchful skies.


s: For those fine lady "ah's" and "oh's" of fear


s: That squirms a limbless carcass o'er the ground.


s: And where that inborn loathing is not found


s: You'll find the serpent qualities instead.


s: Who fears it not, himself is next of kin,


s: And in his bosom holds some treacherous art


s: Whereby to counteract its venomed sting.


s: And all are sired by Satan--Chief of Sin.


s: Who loathes not that foul creature of the dust,


s: And Vivian's voice was speaking, soft and low,


s: Sweet whispered words of passion, o'er and o'er.


s: I dared not breathe. Had I found Eden's shore?


s: "My love," he sighed, his voice like winds that moan


s: For one sweet stolen moment, lie and rest


s: Upon this heart that loves and hates you both!


s: O fair false face! Why were you made so fair!


s: O mouth of Southern sweetness! that ripe kiss


s: _His_ lips shall never gather. There!--and there!


s: I steal it from him. Are you his--all his?


s: Nay you are mine, this moment, as I dreamed--


s: Blind fool--believing you were what you seemed--


s: You would be mine in all the years to come.


s: Fair fiend! I love and hate you in a breath.


s: O God! if this white pallor were but _death_,


s: My lips pressed, so--upon your dying face!"


s: "Woman, how dare you bring me to such shame!


s: How dare you drive me to an act like this,


s: To steal from your unconscious lips the kiss


s: You lured me on to think my rightful claim!


s: You snare and bind in your enticing arts,


s: The thin, pale stuff that in your veins doth flow


s: To please, or pain us, poor, weak, soulless things--


s: Devoid of passion as a senseless flower!


s: Like butterflies, your only boast, your wings.


s: There, now, I scorn you--scorn you from this hour,


s: And hate myself for having talked of love!"


s: He pushed me from him. And I felt as those


s: Doomed angels must, when pearly gates above


s: And looked about. Then in confusion rose


s: And sought this cliff. A moment since you cried,


s: You'll need assistance down the rugged side


s: Of this steep cliff. I pray you take my arm."


s: So, formal and constrained, we passed along,


s: Rejoined our friends, and mingled with the throng


s: To have no further speech again that day.


s: The legal firm of Blank & Blank had sent,


s: Which proved a cosy fortune--no-wise great


s: Or princely--had in France been left to me,


s: My grandsire's last descendant. And it brought


s: A sense of joy and freedom in the thought


s: Of foreign travel, which I hoped would be


s: That longed to leave the olden scenes behind


s: With all their recollections, and to flee


s: I gave Aunt Ruth no peace, until she planned


s: To sail that week, two months: though she was fain


s: To wait until the Springtime. Roy Montaine


s: The cause of my strange hurry, but all seemed


s: To think good fortune had quite turned my brain.


s: One bright October morning, when the woods


s: Had donned their purple mantles and red hoods


s: In honor of the Frost King, Vivian came,


s: Bringing some green leaves, tipped with crimson flame,--


s: Must stay at home. Then Vivian, with a smile,


s: Responded, "I will stay and talk to you,


s: And they may go;" at which her two cheeks grew


s: Like twin blush roses;--dyed with love's red wave,


s: Her fair face shone transfigured with great joy.


s: Peculiar to some men, which seems to say,


s: "I shield my own," a manner pleasing, e'en


s: When we are conscious that it does not mean


s: Whose heart is wholly feminine and human,


s: That guardianship which man bestows on her,


s: Yet mixed with deference; as if she were


s: To raise her hand and voice against all wrong


s: With all the independence of her thought,


s: As man, her brother, yet his strength of arm


s: His muscle and his boldness she has not,


s: Is far more precious, modesty and grace.


s: She does not strive to ape him, nor pretend


s: But that she needs him for a guide and friend,


s: To shield her with his greater strength from harm.


s: We reached the forest; wandered to and fro


s: Through many a winding path and dim retreat.


s: Upon an oak tree, which had been laid low


s: By some wind storm, or by some lightning stroke.


s: And Roy stood just below me, where the ledge


s: On which I sat sloped steeply to the edge


s: One hand held mine; the other grasped a limb


s: That cast its checkered shadows over him;


s: And, with his head thrown back, his dark eyes raised


s: Until I, smiling, turned to him and spoke:


s: "Give words, my cousin, to those thoughts that rise,


s: The smooth and even darkness of his cheek


s: Was stained one moment by a flush of red.


s: He swayed his lithe form nearer as he stood


s: Still clinging to the branch above his head.


s: His brilliant eyes grew darker; and he said,


s: With sudden passion, "Do you bid me speak?


s: I can not, then, keep silence if I would.


s: A harsh tongued world would quickly misconstrue


s: So big my heart has grown with love for you


s: And so I cast it throbbing at your feet,


s: For you to guard and cherish, or to break.


s: Maurine, I love you better than my life.


s: My friend--my cousin--be still more, my wife!


s: Maurine, Maurine, what answer do you make?"


s: I scarce could breathe for wonderment; and numb


s: With sheer amaze, and stared at Roy with eyes


s: That looked no feeling but complete surprise.


s: He swayed so near his breath was on my cheek.


s: "Maurine, Maurine," he whispered, "will you speak?"


s: One picture in a score of shapes will pass,


s: I seemed to see Roy glide before my gaze.


s: First, as the playmate of my earlier days--


s: Next, as my kin--and then my valued friend,


s: And last, my lover. As when colors blend


s: In some unlooked-for group before our eyes,


s: We hold the glass, and look them o'er and o'er


s: In which he ne'er appeared to me before.


s: His form was like a panther's in its grace,


s: So lithe and supple, and of medium height,


s: And garbed in all the elegance of fashion.


s: His large black eyes were full of fire and passion,


s: And in expression fearless, firm, and bright.


s: His hair was like the very deeps of night,


s: And hung in raven clusters 'round a face


s: Upon the handsome face to mine upraised,


s: I saw before me, living, breathing, real,


s: So full my heart was with that clear-cut face,


s: Which, all unlike, yet claimed the hero's place,


s: Or thought of him, save as a valued friend.


s: At that sweet trust I had reposed in you.


s: Steadfast man friend, on whom I could depend,


s: Because I loved you more than any brother,


s: Or any friend could love." Then he began


s: And it were best to give his wooing heed,


s: In all its clear-cut majesty, that other


s: Haughty and poet-handsome face would rise


s: And rob my purpose of all life and strength.


s: Roy urged and argued, as Roy only could,


s: He held my hands, and vowed I must, and should


s: Give some least hope; till, in my own defense,


s: I turned upon him, and replied at length:


s: "I thank you for the noble heart you offer:


s: Who keeps my heart; so I have none to proffer."


s: Then, seeing how his dark eyes flashed, I said,


s: "Dear Roy! I know my words seem very strange;


s: A river rolls between us, dark and deep.


s: To cross it--were to stain with blood my hand.


s: You force my speech on what I fain would keep


s: My heart is given to love that's sanctified,


s: Dear Roy, my brother! speak of this no more,


s: And now come home. The morning, all too soon


s: Helen will miss us, and we must return."


s: He took my hand, and helped me to arise,


s: Where passion's fires had, sudden, ceased to burn.


s: "And so," he said, "too soon and unforeseen


s: My friendship melted into love, Maurine.


s: But, sweet! I am not wholly in the blame,


s: So long we'd known each other, I had not


s: In truth a brother's or a cousin's claim.


s: But I remembered, when through every nerve


s: Your lightest touch went thrilling; and began


s: You won your way into my heart of hearts,


s: With one who's not her kinsman, out and out.


s: But as we now, with measured steps, retrace


s: The path we came, e'en so my heart I'll send,


s: At your command, back to the olden place,


s: And strive to love you only as a friend."


s: But answered laughing, "'Tis the same old cry:


s: Since Adam's time we've heard it. But I'll try


s: And be more prudent, sir, and hold aloof


s: The fruit I never once had thought so sweet


s: 'Twould tempt you any. Now go dress for dinner,


s: Thou sinned against! as also will the sinner.


s: And guard each act, that no least look betray


s: And sought my room, low humming some old air


s: That ceased upon the threshold; for mine eyes


s: All other senses, merged in that of sight,


s: Were lost in contemplation of the bright


s: And wond'rous picture, which had otherwise


s: Her whole face lit as by an inward flame


s: That shed its halo 'round her, Helen stood;


s: Her fair hands folded like a lily's leaves


s: Weighed down by happy dews of summer eves.


s: As sunlight flickers o'er a bed of bloom;


s: And, like some slim young sapling of the wood,


s: Her slender form leaned slightly; and her hair


s: Fell 'round her loosely, in long curling strands


s: Like some unearthly creature of a dream;


s: Until she started forward, gliding slowly,


s: And broke the breathless silence, speaking lowly,


s: As one grown meek, and humble in an hour,


s: Bowing before some new and mighty power.


s: "Maurine, Maurine!" she murmured, and again,


s: "Maurine, my own sweet friend, Maurine!"


s: Laying her love light hands upon my head,


s: She leaned, and looked into my eyes, and said


s: With voice that bore her joy in ev'ry tone,


s: Are weighed with fragrance, "He is mine alone,


s: So pledged this hour, by that most sacred tie


s: Save one beneath God's over-arching sky.


s: I could not wait to tell you of my bliss:


s: I want your blessing, sweetheart! and your kiss."


s: So hiding my heart's trouble with a smile,


s: I leaned and kissed her dainty mouth; the while


s: I felt a guilt-joy, as of some sweet sin,


s: When my lips fell where his so late had been.


s: A sense of shame--yet mixed with satisfaction,


s: As some starved child might steal a loaf, and be


s: Sad with the guilt resulting from her action,


s: While yet the morsel in her mouth was sweet.


s: That ev'ning when the house had settled down


s: To sleep and quiet, to my room there crept


s: A lithe young form, robed in a long white gown:


s: With steps like fall of thistle-down she came,


s: Her mouth smile-wreathed; and, breathing low my name,


s: "Sweetheart," she murmured softly, "ere I sleep,


s: I needs must tell you all my tale of joy.


s: Beginning where you left us--you and Roy.


s: When Vivian spoke of staying. So did he;--


s: With such a strange look in his wond'rous eyes.


s: The silence deepened; and I tried to speak


s: Five happy moments glided by us, fraught


s: With hours of feeling. Vivian rose up then,


s: And came and stood by me, and stroked my hair.


s: And, in his low voice, o'er and o'er again,


s: Said, 'Helen, little Helen, frail and fair.'


s: Then took my face, and turned it to the light,


s: Was shining from them, murmured, sweet and low,


s: 'Dear eyes, you cannot veil the truth from sight.


s: And I made answer straightway, 'With my life


s: And soul and strength I love you, O my love!'


s: He leaned and took me gently to his breast,


s: And said, 'Here then this dainty head shall rest


s: "And then I told him all my thoughts; and he


s: Listened, with kisses for his comments, till


s: My tale was finished. Then he said, 'I will


s: Be frank with you, my darling, from the start,


s: And hide no secret from you in my heart.


s: I love you, Helen, but you are not first


s: She was not all in truth she was in seeming.


s: Enough! she proved to be that thing accursed


s: So much my heart spent on her, it must give


s: A man's great riches, causing him to live


s: In some low cot, all unpretending, still


s: As much his home--as much his loved retreat,


s: E'en so I give you all that's left, my sweet!


s: I made swift smiling answer, 'than to be


s: The worshiped consort of a king.' And so


s: Our faith was pledged. But Vivian would not go


s: Before that time. I shall not feel half wed


s: Without you here. Postpone your trip and stay,


s: 'Twould disarrange our plans for half a year.


s: I'll be in Europe New Year day," I said,


s: "And send congratulations by the cable."


s: And from my soul thanked Providence for sparing


s: The pain, to me, of sharing in, and wearing


s: While all my heart was hung with sorrow's sable.


s: The cup and lip lies many a chance of loss,


s: All would be as I planned it; and, across


s: The briny waste of waters, I should find


s: Some balm and comfort for my troubled mind.


s: The sad Fall days, like maidens auburn-tressed


s: And amber-eyed, in purple garments dressed,


s: Passed by, and dropped their tears upon the tomb


s: Of fair Queen Summer, buried in her bloom.


s: Aunt Ruth complained one day of feeling ill:


s: Her veins ran red with fever; and the skill


s: Of two physicians could not stem the tide.


s: The house, that rang so late with laugh and jest,


s: Grew ghostly with low whispered sounds; and when


s: The Autumn day, that I had thought to be


s: Came sobbing in, it found me pale and worn,


s: Striving to keep away that unloved guest


s: Who comes unbidden, making hearts to mourn.


s: Through all the anxious weeks I watched beside


s: The suff'rer's couch, Roy was my help and stay;


s: Brought strength and comfort, by his cheerful face,


s: And hopeful words, that fell in that sad place


s: November passed; and Winter, crisp and chill,


s: In robes of ermine walked on plain and hill.


s: Returning light and life dispelled the gloom


s: That cheated Death had brought us from the tomb.


s: Aunt Ruth was saved, and slowly getting better--


s: Was dressed each day, and walked about the room.


s: Then came one morning in the Eastern mail,


s: A little white-winged birdling of a letter.


s: I hear Aunt Ruth is better, and am glad.


s: To bear your pain and worry, and those nights


s: Your plans are changed now, and you will not sail


s: Before the Springtime. So you'll come and be


s: My bridesmaid, darling! Do not say me nay.


s: But three weeks more of girlhood left to me.


s: Come, if you can, just two weeks from to-day,


s: And make your preparations here. My sweet!


s: Indeed I am not glad Aunt Ruth was ill--


s: I'm sorry she has suffered so; and still


s: I'm thankful something happened, so you stayed.


s: Without your presence. Selfish, I'm afraid


s: You'll think your Helen. But I love you so,


s: How can I be quite willing you should go?


s: Come Christmas Eve, or earlier. Let me know


s: And I will meet you, dearie! at the train.


s: Had made no moan, but silent, seemed to sleep,


s: Woke from its trance-like lethargy, to steep


s: My tortured heart in anguish and despair.


s: But sent his servant each new day to bring


s: Of juicy fruits to cool the lips of fever,


s: Or dainty hot-house blossoms, with their bloom


s: "Dear Sir, and Friend"--in letters bold and plain,


s: Written on cream-white paper, so it ran:


s: "It is the will and pleasure of Miss Trevor,


s: That you shall honor me next New Year Eve,


s: My wedding hour, by standing as best man.


s: Miss Trevor has six bridesmaids I believe.


s: If I should fail in acting well my part,


s: I'll need protection 'gainst the regiment


s: To stand by me in time of need, and shield


s: Your friend sincerely, Vivian Dangerfield."


s: The last least hope had vanished; I must drain,


s: E'en to the dregs, this bitter cup of pain.


s: There was a week of bustle and of hurry;


s: Of busy bridesmaids, running to and fro,


s: With all that girlish fluttering and flurry


s: Decked with the dainty robes of her trousseau.


s: My robe was fashioned by swift, skillful hands--


s: And as I watched it growing, stitch by stitch,


s: I felt as one might feel who should behold


s: With vision trance-like, where his body lay


s: His grave-cloth sewed together, fold on fold.


s: I lived with ev'ry nerve upon the strain,


s: That, more and more, to my sad heart revealed,


s: Grew ghastly with its horrors, was concealed


s: That God bestowed upon me, hour by hour.


s: What night the Old Year gave unto the New


s: The pointed stars, upon their field of blue,


s: Shone, white and perfect, o'er a world below,


s: Of snow-clad beauty; all the trees were dressed


s: In gleaming garments, decked with diadems,


s: Each seeming like a bridal-bidden guest,


s: The bustle of the dressing room; the sound


s: Of "sweet bells jangled"; thud of steel-clad feet


s: That beat swift music on the frozen ground--


s: All blent together in my brain, and rang


s: Streamed from this open vestibule, a light


s: That lit the velvet blossoms which we trod,


s: With all the hues of those that deck the sod.


s: With gorgeous colors; through a sea of bloom,


s: Up the long aisle, to join the waiting groom,


s: Might surge on with the curious crowd, to gaze


s: With that glad festal throng. The organ sent


s: That broke and fell, in liquid drops, like spray,


s: On happy hearts that listened. But to me


s: Gave utterance to sighing sounds of dole.


s: We paused before the altar. Framed in flowers,


s: The solemn service open; through long hours


s: I seemed to stand and listen, while each word


s: Fell on my ear as falls the sound of clay


s: The bridegroom circled with a golden band


s: The last imposing, binding words were said--


s: "What God has joined let no man put asunder"--


s: And all my strife with self was at an end;


s: How strangely, in some awful hour of pain,


s: External trifles with our sorrows blend!


s: I never hear the mighty organ's thunder,


s: Nor see stained windows all ablaze with light,


s: Without that dizzy whirling of the brain,


s: And all the ghastly feeling of that night,


s: When my sick heart relinquished love and hope.


s: And e'en its memory cease to haunt the heart;


s: But some slight thing, a perfume, or a sound


s: Will probe the closed recesses of the wound,


s: And for a moment bring the old-time smart.


s: Congratulations, kisses, tears and smiles,


s: Good-byes and farewells given; then across


s: Back to my girlhood's home, where, through each room,


s: Should aimless wander, always in my sight,


s: Pointing, with ghostly fingers, to the tomb


s: Wet with the tears of living pain and loss.


s: The sleepless nights of watching and of care,


s: Followed by that one week of keenest pain,


s: Taxing my weakened system, and my brain,


s: But lay without ambition, strength, or will,


s: Which seemed, of all God's store of gifts, the best.


s: Physicians came and shook their heads and sighed;


s: And to their score of questions I replied,


s: With but one languid answer, o'er and o'er.


s: I slept, and dreamed I was some feathered thing,


s: Flying through space with ever-aching wing,


s: Seeking a ship called Rest all snowy white,


s: That sailed and sailed before me, just in sight,


s: But always one unchanging distance kept,


s: And woke more weary than before I slept.


s: I slept, and dreamed I ran to win a prize.


s: A hand from heaven held down before my eyes.


s: Of that great prize, whereon was written "rest,"


s: Which ever just beyond my reach did gleam,


s: That saw a snow-white lily on the plain,


s: And left the cloud to nestle in her breast.


s: I fell and fell, but nevermore found rest--


s: I fell and fell, but found no stopping place,


s: Through leagues and leagues of never-ending space,


s: While space illimitable stretched before.


s: And all these dreams but wearied me the more.


s: Aunt Ruth's and Roy's, and Helen's: but they seemed


s: A part of some strange fancy I had dreamed,


s: My mind, o'er taxed, lost hold of time at last,


s: Ignored its future, and forgot its past,


s: And groped along the present, as a light,


s: Carried, uncovered, through the fogs of night,


s: When March winds brought vague rumors of the spring,


s: A certain sense of "restlessness with rest."


s: Came back with Mem'ry, hand in hand, to bring


s: And lay upon my sore and bleeding breast,


s: Grim-visaged Recollection's thorny rose.


s: I gained, and failed. One day could ride and walk,


s: The next would find me prostrate: while a flock


s: Of ghostly thoughts, like phantom birds, would flit


s: Pale spectres of the past, with folded wings,


s: Perched, silently, upon the voiceless strings,


s: That once resounded to Hope's happy lays.


s: When May came, lightsome footed, o'er the lea,


s: I bade farewell to home with secret joy,


s: And turned my wan face eastward to the sea.


s: Roy planned our route of travel: for all lands


s: Or Alps of Switzerland, or stately Rome,


s: All were familiar as the fields of home.


s: There was a year of wand'ring to and fro,


s: Like restless spirits; scaling mountain heights;


s: Dwelling among the countless, rare delights


s: Stamped with the tragedies of mighty ages;


s: Of kings long buried--bare, unvarnished facts,


s: Surpassing wildest fictions of the brain;


s: Rubbing against all people, high and low,


s: And by this contact feeling Self to grow


s: Smaller and less important, and the vein


s: And to the ruling monarch on the throne,


s: Has given hope, ambition, joy, and pain,


s: And that all hearts have feelings like our own.


s: There is no school that disciplines the mind,


s: And broadens thought, like contact with mankind.


s: The college-prisoned greybeard, who has burned


s: The midnight lamp, and book-bound knowledge learned,


s: He has not conned and studied, o'er and o'er,


s: With some unlettered wand'rer, who has shared


s: Felt touch of brother in each proffered hand;


s: Made man his study, and the world his college,


s: And gained this grand epitome of knowledge:


s: I hold he is best learnèd and most wise,


s: Who best and most can love and sympathize.


s: Book-wisdom makes us vain and self-contained;


s: Our banded minds go round in little grooves;


s: But constant friction with the world removes


s: To grander heights, and, all untrammeled, find


s: And through its broadened realm, no longer chained,


s: Thought travels freely, leaving Self behind.


s: Where'er we chanced to wander or to roam,


s: Glad letters came from Helen; happy things,


s: Like little birds that followed on swift wings,


s: Bringing their tender messages from home.


s: Her days were poems, beautiful, complete.


s: The rhythm perfect, and the burden sweet.


s: My heart had found contentment in that year.


s: With health restored, my life seemed full of cheer


s: The heart of youth turns ever to the light;


s: Sorrow and gloom may curtain it like night,


s: It beats and tears the pall-like folds away,


s: And finds again the sunlight of the day.


s: And yet, despite the changes without measure,


s: Despite sight-seeing, round on round of pleasure;


s: Despite new friends, new suitors, still my heart


s: Was conscious of a something lacking, where


s: Love once had dwelt, and afterward despair.


s: Now love was buried; and despair had flown


s: Before the healthful zephyrs that had blown


s: From heights serene and lofty; and the place


s: Where both had dwelt, was empty, voiceless space


s: And worked, and labored, with a right good will.


s: Aunt Ruth and I took rooms in Rome; while Roy


s: Lingered in Scotland, with his new-found joy.


s: Had snared him in her flossy, flaxen hair,


s: In contact with her people while in France


s: The previous season: she was wholly sweet


s: Won by her fresh face, and her artless ways,


s: Roy fell a helpless captive at her feet.


s: Her home was in the Highlands; and she came


s: Of good old stock, of fair untarnished fame.


s: Through all these months Roy had been true as steel;


s: He was my friend and brother, and no more.


s: The same big-souled and trusty friend of yore.


s: Yet, in my secret heart, I wished I knew


s: Whether the love he felt one time was dead,


s: So when he came to me one day, and said,


s: With light of love and triumph: "Cousin, mine,


s: Has pledged to me the promise of her hand;


s: With double gladness, for it freed my mind


s: Of fear that he, in secret, might be sad.


s: From March till June had left her moons behind,


s: There was no message from my native land.


s: Then came a few brief lines, by Vivian penned:


s: Death had been near to Helen, but passed by;


s: The mother and the child were both alive;


s: As throve this one, nurse had been heard to say.


s: Such hair before? Helen would write, ere long:


s: She gained quite slowly, but would soon be strong--


s: Stronger than ever, so the doctors said.


s: Mayhap his hand had severed from the head


s: Of his own child, and pressed it to my cheek


s: And to my lips, and kissed it o'er and o'er.


s: All my maternal instincts seemed to rise,


s: And clamor for their rights, while my wet eyes,


s: Rained tears upon the silken tress of hair.


s: The woman struggled with her heart before!


s: Moaning, like Rachel, that her babes were not,


s: Once I bemoaned the long and lonely years


s: That stretched before me, dark with love's eclipse;


s: And thought how my unmated heart would miss


s: The shelter of a broad and manly breast--


s: The strong, bold arm--the tender clinging kiss--


s: And all pure love's possessions, manifold;


s: Thinking of little heads of shining gold,


s: That would not on my bosom sink to rest;


s: Of little hands that would not touch my cheek;


s: Of little lisping voices, and sweet lips,


s: That never in my list'ning ear would speak


s: How mighty is the love of offspring! Ere


s: Unto her wond'ring, untaught mind unfolds


s: The myst'ry that is half divine, half human,


s: Of life and birth, the love of unborn souls


s: Within her, and the mother-yearning creeps


s: Through her warm heart, and stirs its hidden deeps,


s: And grows and strengthens with each riper year.


s: And spend their fury, and then pass away,


s: Leaving again the blue of cloudless day,


s: E'en so the tempest of my grief passed by.


s: 'T was weak to mourn for what I had resigned,


s: If God, from out his boundless store above,


s: I would rejoice, for her sake--not repine


s: That th' immortal treasures were not mine.


s: Better my grief and my strength to control,


s: Than the despair of her frail-bodied soul;


s: Than wear love's rose, whose thorn had slain my friend.


s: Work is the salve that heals the wounded heart.


s: And if I failed to climb the dizzy height,


s: To reach some point of excellence in art.


s: E'en as the Maker held earth incomplete,


s: Till man was formed, and placed upon the sod,


s: All landscape scenes were lacking in my sight,


s: In that, all lines of symmetry did meet--


s: Much study, and some talent, day by day,


s: Stamped on some form, or looking from some face.


s: This is not Genius. Genius spreads its wings


s: And soars beyond itself, or selfish things.


s: Talent has need of stepping-stones: some cross,


s: Some cheated purpose, some great pain or loss,


s: Must lay the groundwork, and arouse ambition,


s: But, as the lark from beds of bloom will rise


s: Still mounting near and nearer to the light,


s: Impelled alone by love of upward flight,


s: So Genius soars--it does not need to climb--


s: Upon God-given wings, to heights sublime.


s: Some sportman's shot, grazing the singer's throat,


s: May speed its flight toward the realm of day,


s: And tinge with triumph every liquid note.


s: So deathless Genius mounts but higher yet,


s: When Strife and Envy think to slay or fret.


s: Can silence it, or hinder. While there's breath


s: Or sense of feeling, it will spurn the sod,


s: The acorn sprouted--weeds nor flowers can choke


s: The certain growth of th' upreaching oak.


s: Talent was mine, not Genius; and my mind


s: Seemed bound by chains, and would not leave behind


s: To picture some emotion, lo! _his_ eyes,


s: Looked from the canvas: and my buried pain


s: Rose from its grave, and stood by me alive.


s: Whate'er my subject, in some hue or line,


s: The glorious beauty of his face would shine.


s: Since it but freshened, and made keener yet,


s: The grief my heart was striving to forget.


s: While in his form all strength and magnitude


s: With grace and supple sinews were entwined,


s: While in his face all beauties were combined


s: Of perfect features, intellect and truth,


s: With all that fine rich coloring of youth,


s: How could my brush portray aught good or fair


s: Wherein no fatal likeness should intrude


s: That thus would mix its sorrow with my art,


s: And made the toilsome present passing bright


s: With dreams of what was hidden from my sight


s: In the far distant future, when the soil


s: Should yield me golden fruit for all my toil.


s: With much hard labor and some pleasure fraught,


s: The months rolled by me noiselessly, that taught


s: My hand to grow more skillful in its art,


s: Strengthened my daring dream of fame, and brought


s: Brief letters came from Helen, now and then:


s: She was quite well--oh, yes! quite well, indeed!


s: But still so weak and nervous. By and by,


s: Such constant care, she would grow strong again.


s: No least cloud hovered in her azure sky;


s: She had not thought life held such depths of bliss.


s: And said she was a naughty, naughty girl,


s: Not to come home and see ma's little pearl.


s: As each brief line wherein her joy was told.


s: It lightened toil, and took the edge from pain,


s: Roy purchased fine estates in Scotland, where


s: And when the Roman Summer's languid heat


s: Made work a punishment, I turned my face


s: Toward the Highlands, and with Roy and Grace


s: Found rest and freedom from all thought and care.


s: To swell the tide of hours forever gone.


s: My first completed picture, known as "Joy,"


s: Won pleasant words of praise. "Possesses power,"


s: "Displays much talent," "Very fairly done."


s: So fell the comments on my grateful ear.


s: Swift in the wake of Joy, and always near,


s: Walks her sad sister Sorrow. So my brush


s: The careful study of long months, it won


s: Which set both pieces down as daubs, and weak


s: As empty heads that sang their praises--so


s: Proving conclusively the pictures' worth.


s: A worthless work. That, left alone, they know


s: Will find its proper level; and they aim


s: Their batteries at rising works which claim


s: Too much of public notice. But this shot


s: Resulted only in some noise, which brought


s: Of holding those frail baubles, Fame and Pow'r.


s: An English Baron who had lived two score


s: Of his allotted three score years and ten,


s: Bought both the pieces. He was very kind,


s: "Sweet friend, whom I would make my wife,


s: The 'Joy' and 'Sorrow' this dear hand portrayed


s: The joy and sorrow of your future life,"--


s: And grant him favor. He was good and kind;


s: Not young, no doubt he would be quite content


s: With my respect, nor miss an ardent love;


s: And then, perhaps, my mind was not above


s: Would be encouraged and pursued the same,


s: And I could spend my winters all in Rome.


s: Love never more could touch my wasteful heart


s: That all its wealth upon one object spent.


s: After long years, when I was gray and old,


s: And pile new sods upon the grave of pain.


s: My mind so argued; and my sad heart heard,


s: I strove for strength to utter that one word


s: And forced my trembling lips to say him nay.


s: And then my eyes with sudden tears o'erran,


s: Who stood before me, lost in pained surprise.


s: "Dear friend," I cried, "Dear generous friend forgive


s: From out its store, my heart can give you naught


s: But honor and respect; and yet methought


s: I would give willing answer, did you sue.


s: But now I know 'twere cruel wrong I planned;


s: Taking a heart that beat with love most true,


s: Who weds for love alone, may not be wise:


s: Who weds without it, angels must despise.


s: And lack of either, sure as Fate, destroys


s: And brings regret, and gloomy discontent,


s: Nay, nay! I will not burden all your life


s: Of wedding where my heart goes not in whole.


s: I will not stain my life with such a blot.


s: Dear friend, farewell! the earth is very wide;


s: It holds some fairer woman for your bride;


s: Knows not that subtle sense of moral strength;


s: When sorely tried, we waver, but at length,


s: Rise up and turn away, not having failed.


s: The Autumn of the third year came and went;


s: When this brief message came across the sea:


s: Love, which so long the growing truth concealed,


s: Stands pale within its shadow. O, my sweet!


s: This heart of mine grows fainter with each beat--


s: Dying with very weight of bliss. O, come!


s: In life or death, Yours, Helen Dangerfield."


s: This plaintive letter bore a month old date;


s: And, wild with fears lest I had come too late,


s: I bade the old world and new friends adieu.


s: And with Aunt Ruth, who long had sighed for home,


s: I turned my back on glory, art, and Rome.


s: All selfish thoughts were merged in one wild fear


s: That she for whose dear sake my heart had bled,


s: Rather than her sweet eyes should know one tear,


s: Was passing from me; that she might be dead;


s: And, dying, had been sorely grieved with me,


s: "O, ship, that sailest slowly, slowly on,


s: Make haste before a wasting life is gone!


s: Make haste that I may catch a fleeting breath!


s: And true in life, be true e'en unto death.


s: "O, ship, sail on! and bear me o'er the tide


s: To her for whom my woman's heart once died.


s: Sail, sail, O, ship! for she hath need of me,


s: And I would know what her last wish may be!


s: I have been true, so true, through all the past,


s: Sail, sail, O, ship! I would not fail at last."


s: So prayed my heart still o'er, and ever o'er,


s: Until the weary lagging ship reached shore.


s: All sad with fears that I had come too late,


s: By that strange source whence men communicate,


s: Though miles on miles of space between them lie,


s: I spoke with Vivian: "Does she live? Reply."


s: The answer came. "She lives, but hasten, friend!


s: Her journey draweth swiftly to its end."


s: Ah me! ah me! when each remembered spot,


s: My own dear home, the lane that led to his--


s: The fields, the woods, the lake, burst on my sight,


s: Oh! then, Self rose up in asserting might;


s: Oh, then, my bursting heart all else forgot,


s: But those sweet early years of lost delight,


s: Of hope, defeat, of anguish and of bliss.


s: Love, pain or passion, sorrow or despair,


s: Until it takes possession of some breast;


s: And, when at length, grown weary of unrest,


s: We rise up strong and cast it from the heart,


s: It does not die, it cannot die; but goes


s: And mingles with some restless wind that blows


s: About the region where it had its birth.


s: And though we wander over all the earth,


s: That spirit waits, and lingers, year by year,


s: And once more find safe shelter in the breast


s: It stirred of old with pleasure or unrest.


s: Some old emotion long had ceased to live;


s: That, were it called, it could not hear or come,


s: Yet, passing where it first sprang into life,


s: It seemed a living spirit, which came stealing


s: The present's pain and sorrow, crept the love


s: And strife and passion of a by-gone hour,


s: Possessed of all their olden might and power.


s: 'T was but a moment, and the spell was broken


s: By pleasant words of greeting, gently spoken,


s: And smold'ring fires leap up an hour and burn;


s: But never yet had I transgressed God's law,


s: Which she, his wife, my friend, might not have known.


s: He was but little altered. From his face


s: The nonchalant and almost haughty grace,


s: The lurking laughter waiting in his eyes,


s: The years had stolen, leaving in their place


s: A settled sadness, which was not despair,


s: Nor was it gloom, nor weariness, nor care,


s: But something like the vapor o'er the skies


s: But spoke of frosts, which had been and would be.


s: There was that in his face which cometh not,


s: Save when the soul has many a battle fought,


s: And conquered self by constant sacrifice.


s: There are two sculptors, who, with chisels fine,


s: Render the plainest features half divine.


s: All other artists strive and strive in vain,


s: Their statues only crumble at their feet,


s: Without the master touch of Faith and Pain.


s: And now his face, that perfect seemed before,


s: Chiseled by these two careful artists, wore


s: When soul has conquered, and the body lives


s: And, redolent with perfume, bright with flowers,


s: Rested the eye like one of Summer's bowers,


s: Than Death's; for on the marble of her brow,


s: Was like the slendor willow, when some storm


s: Has stripped it bare of foliage. Her face,


s: Pale always, now was ghastly in its hue:


s: And, like two lamps, in some dark, hollow place,


s: Burned her large eyes, grown more intensely blue.


s: Her fragile hands displayed each cord and vein,


s: And on her mouth was that drawn look, of pain


s: Which is not uttered. Yet an inward light


s: Shone through and made her wasted features bright


s: She turned the brilliant luster of her eyes


s: Upon me. She had passed beyond surprise,


s: A smile, celestial in its sweetness, wreathed


s: Her pallid features. "Welcome home!" she breathed,


s: "Dear hands! dear lips! I touch you and rejoice."


s: Were her faint tones that thrilled upon my ear.


s: While to the aching numbness of my grief,


s: Mine eyes refused the solace of a tear,--


s: The tortured soul's most merciful relief.


s: For one sad, sacred moment. Then she said,


s: In that low tone so like the wind's refrain,


s: "Maurine, my own! give not away to pain;


s: My soul may hear the summons and pass on.


s: Arise, sweet sister! rest a little while,


s: And when refreshed, come hither. I grow weak


s: With every hour that passes. I must speak


s: And make my dying wishes known to-night.


s: Which seemed to fill the room with golden light,


s: Of coming night, I entered that dim room,


s: And sat down by her. Vivian held her hand:


s: And on the pillow at her side, there smiled


s: The beauteous count'nance of a sleeping child.


s: "Maurine," spoke Helen, "for three blissful years,


s: My heart has dwelt in an enchanted land;


s: And I have drank the sweetened cup of joy,


s: And so, ere Pain embitters it with gall,


s: Or sad-eyed Sorrow fills it full of tears,


s: And bids me quaff, which is the Fate of all


s: God takes me to the realm of Endless Day,


s: Can understand such bliss as I have known.


s: I do not murmur. God has heaped my measure,


s: In three short years, full to the brim with pleasure;


s: And, from the fullness of an earthly love,


s: With none to comfort them. Maurine, sweet friend!


s: Be kind to them, and love them to the end,


s: A soul immortal in your charge, Maurine.


s: From this most holy, sad and sacred eve,


s: Till God shall claim her, she is yours to keep,


s: To love and shelter, to protect and guide."


s: She touched the slumb'ring cherub at her side,


s: And Vivian gently bore her, still asleep,


s: And laid the precious burden on my breast.


s: And when the sleeping infant smiled, and pressed


s: This infant, who, in that tear-blotted past,


s: Had caused my soul such travail, was my own:


s: Through all the lonely coming years to be


s: And what I mourned, so hopelessly as lost


s: You yet have me, whose mortal life she cost.


s: But all that was most pure and undefiled,


s: Maurine, my husband loves me; yet I know,


s: Moving about the wide world, to and fro,


s: And through, and in the busy haunts of men,


s: Nay, Vivian, hush! my soul has passed above


s: All selfish feelings! I would have it so.


s: While I am with the angels, blest and glad,


s: But, love! I could not trust to any other


s: To this sweet cherub, save my own heart-friend.


s: "Teach her to love her father's name, Maurine,


s: Where'er he wanders. Keep my memory green


s: In her young heart, and lead her in her youth,


s: To drink from th' eternal fount of Truth;


s: Ply not her mind with harsh and narrow creeds,


s: Who rules his subjects with a burning rod;


s: But teach her that each mortal simply needs


s: To grow in hate of hate and love of love,


s: "Let her be free and natural as the flowers,


s: That smile and nod throughout the summer hours.


s: Let her rejoice in all the joys of youth,


s: But first impress upon her mind this truth:


s: Save when the heart some _other_ seeks to please.


s: The cup of selfish pleasures soon is drained,


s: And full of gall and bitterness the lees.


s: Next to her God, teach her to love her land;


s: In her young bosom light the patriot's flame


s: With love and fervor at her country's name.


s: And this, my last wish, is an earnest one.


s: "Maurine, my o'er-taxed strength is waning; you


s: Have heard my wishes, and you will be true


s: In death as you have been in life, my own!


s: With him--my husband. Dear love! I shall rest


s: Good night, Maurine, come to me in the morning."


s: But lo! the bridegroom with no further warning


s: She heard his voice, and smiled, and passed away


s: To give her greeting, I found but her clay,


s: "Dear friend! my soul shall treasure thy request,


s: Like a freed bird, then I will come to thee.


s: "I will come to thee in the morning, sweet!


s: I have been true; and soul with soul shall meet


s: Before God's throne, and shall not be afraid.


s: Thou gav'st me trust, and it was not betrayed.


s: "I will come to thee in the morning, dear!


s: The night is dark. I do not know how near


s: I can but keep my faithful watch and pray.


s: "I will come to thee in the morning, love!


s: Wait for me on the Eternal Heights above.


s: The way is troubled where my feet must climb,


s: Ere I shall tread the mountain-top sublime.


s: "I will come in the morning, O, mine own!


s: Through tears and sorrow, till the Day shall dawn,


s: And I shall hear the summons, and pass on.


s: "I will come in the morning. Rest secure!


s: My hope is certain and my faith is sure.


s: After the gloom and darkness of the night


s: I will come to thee with the morning light."


s: Three peaceful years slipped silently away.


s: We dwelt together in my childhood's home,


s: She was a fair and most exquisite child;


s: Like her dead mother's; but through her dear eyes


s: Brief, friendly letters, telling where he went


s: And what he saw, addressed to May or me.


s: And I would write and tell him how she grew--


s: And how she talked about him o'er the sea


s: She knelt and prayed the blessed Lord would bring


s: It was a warm bright morning in the Spring.


s: When Vivian came. My eyes were full of tears,


s: As I looked back across the checkered years.


s: How many were the changes they had brought!


s: Pain, death, and sorrow! but the lesson taught


s: To my young heart had been of untold worth.


s: I had learned how to "suffer and grow strong"--


s: That knowledge which best serves us here on earth,


s: The years had been since that June morning when


s: Down that same path I turned my eyes, tear-wet,


s: And lo! the wanderer from a foreign land


s: Stood there before me!--holding out his hand


s: And smiling with those wond'rous eyes of old.


s: To hide my tears, I ran and brought his child;


s: But she was shy, and clung to me, when told


s: This was papa, for whom her prayers were said.


s: She dropped her eyes and shook her little head,


s: And would not by his coaxing be beguiled,


s: And we two sat and talked, as strangers might,


s: Of distant countries which we both had seen.


s: But once I thought I saw his large eyes light


s: With sudden passion, when there came a pause


s: We talked of you. They seemed surprised, because


s: You were not 'mong the seekers for a name.


s: They thought your whole ambition was for fame."


s: "It might have been," I answered, "when my heart


s: To love and live for, which I had not then."


s: And, leaning down, I pressed a tender kiss


s: The old light leaping to his eyes again,


s: "And yet, Maurine, they say you might have wed


s: Who laid their hearts and fortunes at your feet.


s: I bowed my head, nor dared his gaze to meet.


s: On cheek and brow I felt the red blood burn,


s: He murmured softly, "God in Heaven knows


s: When your own acts forced on me the belief


s: That I had been your plaything and your toy.


s: Yet from his lips I since have learned that Roy


s: Held no place nearer than a friend and brother.


s: Of what had been--was--might be, stirred my mind,


s: And that great love, I thought died at a blow,


s: Rose up within me, strong with hope and life.


s: Of this sweet child that slumbers on your heart,


s: Maurine, Maurine, I claim you for my wife--


s: Mine own, forever, until death shall part!"


s: Through happy mists of upward welling tears,


s: I leaned, and looked into his beauteous eyes.


s: "Dear heart," I said, "if she who dwells above


s: Looks down upon us, from yon azure skies,


s: She can but bless us, knowing all these years


s: My soul had yearned in silence for the love


s: That crowned her life, and left mine own so bleak.


s: I turned you from me for her fair, frail sake.


s: For her sweet child's, and for my own, I take


s: Just then the child upon my breast awoke


s: From her light sleep, and laid her downy cheek


s: And this unconscious action seemed to be


s: A silent blessing, which the mother spoke


s: That fills young hearts with mad desire,


s: Sent from his soul through breast and brain


s: Went trickling downward through each vein.


s: His smouldering heart flamed into fire--


s: And came back crowned with wealth and power.


s: Rose, bird-like, from some hidden place,


s: Their rich-hued leaves by Fall winds whirled--


s: How dull they were--how dull the world--


s: Than Vengeance takes in creed-taught minds,


s: This certain doom that blunts and blinds,


s: In the youth of the year, when the birds were building,


s: When the green was showing on tree and hedge,


s: And the tenderest light of all lights was gilding


s: The world from zenith to outermost edge,


s: I sighed for the season of sun and rose,


s: And I said, "In the Summer and that time only


s: Lies sweet contentment and blest repose."


s: With bee and bird for her maids of honor


s: And the King of day smiled down upon her


s: And wooed her, and won her, and made her queen.


s: Fruit of their union and true love's pledges,


s: And rambled in gardens and hid in hedges


s: And then, like a subject who harbors treason,


s: Grew full of rebellion and gray with gloom.


s: And I said, "I am sick of the Summer's blisses,


s: That beauteous Fall time holds in store!"


s: But now when the colors are almost blinding,


s: And the rarest fruits are mine for the finding,


s: My soul complains in the same old fashion;


s: Is the same old longing, the same old passion.


s: O where is the treasure which men call rest?


s: Of all the waltzes the great Strauss wrote,


s: Thrills me and fills me with vague unrest,


s: And all that is sweetest and saddest blends


s: It brings back that night in the dim arcade,


s: In love's sweet morning and life's best prime.


s: When the great brass orchestra played and played.


s: It brings back that Winter of mad delights,


s: And those languid moon-washed Summer nights


s: It brings back rapture and glee and glow,


s: It brings back passion and pain and strife,


s: For it is so full of the dear old time--


s: And under its rhythm, and lilt, and rhyme,


s: Dear friend, as that one at the church to-night.


s: Was one resplendent blaze of colored light.


s: Up through broad aisles the stylish crowd was thronging,


s: Each richly robed like some king's bidden guest.


s: "Here will I bring my sorrow and my longing,"


s: I heard the heavenly organ's voice of thunder,


s: I wept. Strange eyes looked on in well-bred wonder.


s: I dried my tears: their gaze profaned my grief.


s: Wrapt in the costly furs, and silks and laces


s: Beat alien hearts, that had no part with me.


s: I could not read, in all those proud cold faces,


s: I watched them bowing and devoutly kneeling,


s: Heard their responses like sweet waters roll.


s: But only the glorious organ's sacred pealing


s: Seemed gushing from a full and fervent soul.


s: He spoke of creeds, and hailed his own as best;


s: Of man's corruption and of Adam's falling,


s: Nothing that helped me bear the daily grinding


s: Of soul with body, heart with heated brain.


s: Nothing to show the purpose of this blinding


s: And sometimes overwhelming sense of pain.


s: And then, dear friend, I thought of thee, so lowly,


s: And lo! a peace, a calm serene and holy,


s: Ah, friend, my friend! one true heart, fond and tender,


s: That understands our troubles and our needs,


s: Brings us more near to God than all the splendor


s: And pomp of seeming worship and vain creeds.


s: One glance of thy dear eyes so full of feeling,


s: Than all that throng of worldly people kneeling


s: That, like a restless comrade frightened sleep,


s: And every thought that found her, left a dart


s: That hurt her so, she could not even weep.


s: Her heart that once had been a cup well filled


s: With love's red wine, save for some drops of gall


s: She knew was empty; though it had not spilled


s: Its sweets for one, but wasted them on all.


s: She stood upon the grave of her dead truth,


s: And saw her soul's bright armor red with rust,


s: And knew that all the riches of her youth


s: Were Dead Sea apples, crumbling into dust.


s: Love that had turned to bitter, biting scorn,


s: Hearthstones despoiled, and homes made desolate,


s: Made her cry out that she was ever born,


s: To loathe her beauty and to curse her fate.


s: When baby, sitting with his nurse at play,


s: Cried loud for "mamma," all his toys forsaking.


s: And signed to nurse to bear him from the room.


s: Then, sudden, rose and caught him to my breast,


s: And kissed the grieving mouth and cheeks of bloom.


s: For swift as lightning came the thought to me,


s: With pulsing heart-throes and a mist of tears,


s: If my fair darling grows to manhood's years;


s: Days when he will not call for "mamma," when


s: The world with many a pleasure and bright joy,


s: Shall tempt him forth into the haunts of men


s: And I shall lose the first place with my boy;


s: When other homes and loves shall give delight,


s: When younger smiles and voices will seem best.


s: Forgetting all my need of peace and rest.


s: No darkness, no graves, and no grieving,


s: Are not blue, are not green, but are golden,


s: It was whispered to me that their waters


s: That were wept by the sons and the daughters


s: Here night is not night, but is twilight,


s: Bright birds from all climes and all regions


s: It is here that the four winds of heaven,


s: It is here they first came and were given


s: Their foreheads made white with the spray.


s: Of this kingdom, cloud-hidden from sight,


s: And their souls ever more are like fountains,


s: All dangers, all deaths, they defy them,


s: And are gladder than gods are, with glee.


s: We will be what we could be. Do not say,


s: "It might have been, had not or that, or this."


s: No fate can keep us from the chosen way;


s: We will do what we could do. Do not dream


s: Chance leaves a hero, all uncrowned to grieve.


s: I hold, all men are greatly what they seem;


s: We will climb where we could climb. Tell me not


s: Of adverse storms that kept thee from the height.


s: What eagle ever missed the peak he sought?


s: I do not like the phrase, "It might have been!"


s: It lacks all force, and life's best truths perverts:


s: For I believe we have, and reach, and win,


s: Dear love, if you and I could sail away,


s: With snowy pennons to the winds unfurled,


s: And find some island far from all the world;


s: If we could dwell there, ever more alone,


s: By aught save native song-birds of the place;


s: And Summer's lap spilled o'er with fruits and flowers,


s: And tropic trees cast shade on every hand,


s: And twinèd boughs formed sleep-inviting bowers;


s: If from the fashions of the world set free,


s: And hid away from all its jealous strife,


s: Ah! then, dear love, how sweet were wedded life.


s: But since we dwell here in the crowded way,


s: Where hurrying throngs rush by to seek for gold,


s: As soon as love's young honeymoon grows old;


s: Since fashion rules and nature yields to art,


s: 'Tis best to shut such dreams down in the heart


s: And go our ways alone, love, and forget.


s: When souls are glad and hearts are light,


s: Down shadowy lanes, across strange streams


s: That tinted cheek of flower-like grace."


s: "The weeds are choking out the flowers."


s: There are sometimes two straight roads to a town,


s: You are treading the safe and the well-worn way,


s: And you think me reckless and rash to-day,


s: Your path is the right one, and so is mine.


s: 'Twere a dull old world, methinks, my friend,


s: Yet our paths will meet no doubt at the end,


s: I must live my life, not yours, my friend,


s: We must follow our given paths to the end,


s: He holds her fingers and draws her down,


s: Till the loose hair drops its masses brown


s: And bright brown tresses and dusky hair,


s: There's a question asked, there's a swift caress,


s: She has flown like a bird from the hallway,


s: That shall brighten the world for him alway.


s: Oh, I have dreams. I sometimes dream of Life


s: In the full meaning of that splendid word.


s: Its subtle music which few men have heard,


s: Though all may hear it, sounding through earth's strife.


s: Its mountain heights by mystic breezes kissed,


s: Lifting their lovely peaks above the dust;


s: Its treasures which no touch of time can rust,


s: Its emerald seas, its dawns of amethyst,


s: Its usefulness, that finds no hour for woes,


s: Yes, I have dreams. I ofttimes dream of Love


s: As changeless, too, as that fixed light afar


s: Which glorifies vast worlds of space above.


s: Strong as the tempest when it holds its breath,


s: As the unfathomed seas, where lost worlds sleep


s: And sad as birth, and beautiful as death.


s: As fervent as the fondest soul could crave,


s: Yes, yes, I dream. One oft-recurring dream,


s: When that strange essence, author of all faith,


s: That subtle something, which cries for the light,


s: Like a lost child who wanders in the night,


s: Shall solve the mighty mystery of Death,


s: Worn threadbare in the seams, and out of date.


s: I have outgrown it. Wherefore should I weep


s: That I must needs discard it? I can weave


s: Where somber shades commingle, yet the gleam


s: Of golden warp shall shoot it through and through,


s: And starred with gems made out of crystalled tears,


s: My new robe shall be richer than the old.


s: By artists builded and by genius planned.


s: Beyond the reach of the apprentice hand,


s: A _chef-d'oeuvre_ toiled over with great care,


s: Yet which the unseeing careless crowd goes by,


s: To please or hold aught save the special eye,


s: Think not some knowledge rests with thee alone;


s: Why, even God's stupendous secret, Death,


s: We one by one, with our expiring breath,


s: Do pale with wonder seize and make our own;


s: The bosomed treasures of the earth are shown,


s: Yields its mysterious marvels in despair


s: To swell the mighty store-house of things known.


s: It cannot cover from the keen world's sight


s: And so, despite thy caution or thy tears,


s: Shall drag _thy_ secret out into the light.


s: That was a curious dream; I thought the three


s: Great planets that are drawing near the sun


s: They spoke of vast convulsions which would be


s: Throughout the solar system--the rare fun


s: Of watching haughty stars drop, one by one,


s: I thought I heard them comment on the earth--


s: That small dark object--doomed beyond a doubt.


s: They wondered if live creatures moved about


s: And then they laughed--'twas such a ringing shout


s: That I awoke and joined too in their mirth.


s: Let mine not be that saddest fate of all


s: Stands stark and helpless while its green leaves fall.


s: Which all men dread, in my glad morning time,


s: And follow death ere I have reached my prime,


s: Or drunk the strengthening cordial of life's gall.


s: The lightning's stroke or the fierce tempest blast


s: Which fells the green tree to the earth to-day


s: Is kinder than the calm that lets it last,


s: "She lives, but all her usefulness is past."


s: There is no chance, no destiny, no fate,


s: Gifts count for nothing; will alone is great;


s: All things give way before it, soon or late.


s: Or cause the ascending orb of day to wait?


s: Each well-born soul must win what it deserves.


s: Let the fool prate of luck. The fortunate


s: Is he whose earnest purpose never swerves,


s: Whose slightest action or inaction serves


s: And waits an hour sometimes for such a will.


s: Falling upon the frozen world last night,


s: I heard the slow beat of the Winter rain--


s: Poor foolish drops, down-dripping all in vain;


s: The ice-bound Earth but mocked their puny might,


s: And uncomplaining snows--which make no sign,


s: But coldly smile, when pitying moonbeams shine--


s: Concealed its sorrow from all human sight.


s: Long, long ago, in blurred and burdened years,


s: I learned the uselessness of uttered woe.


s: Though sinewy Fate deals her most skillful blow,


s: I do not waste the gall now of my tears,


s: But feed my pride upon its bitter, while


s: I look straight in the world's bold eyes, and smile.


s: Which makes our failures sometimes seem more kind


s: Than that success which brings sure loss behind--


s: True greatness dies, when sounds the world's applause


s: Fame blights the object it would bless, because


s: Weighed down with men's expectancy, the mind


s: Can no more soar to those far heights, and find


s: We catch no more the music of the spheres,


s: Or walk with gods, and angels, but with men.


s: Till, impotent from our self-conscious fears,


s: The plaudits of the world turn into sneers.


s: Life, like a romping schoolboy, full of glee,


s: Doth bear us on his shoulders for a time.


s: There is no path too steep for him to climb,


s: With strong, lithe limbs, as agile and as free,


s: As some young roe, he speeds by vale and sea,


s: By flowery mead, by mountain peak sublime,


s: And all the world seems motion set to rhyme,


s: Till, tired out, he cries, "Now carry me!"


s: In vain we murmur, "Come," Life says, "fair play!"


s: He does not let us sit down all the day.


s: At each new step we feel the burden grow,


s: Till our bent backs seem breaking as we go,


s: Watching for Death to meet us on the way.


s: "Genius, a man's weapon, a woman's burden."--_Lamartine._


s: Dear God! there is no sadder fate in life,


s: To feel your brain wild and your bosom rife


s: With all the sea's commotion; to be fraught


s: With fires and frenzies which you have not sought,


s: And weighed down with the wide world's weary strife.


s: To lean and hear half in affright, half shame.


s: A loud-voiced public boldly mouth your name,


s: To reap your hard-sown harvest in unrest,


s: And know, however great your meed of fame,


s: Alas! alas! the woe that comes from lifting up the eyes.


s: Alas! alas! the woe that comes from clasping hand with hand.


s: Ah! love in spring seems sweet and good,


s: Alas! alas! the woe that comes from listing lovers' sighs.


s: Alas! alas! the woe that comes from kisses on the mouth.


s: Alas! alas! for breaking hearts when lovers rove away.


s: Let the dream go. Are there not other dreams


s: In vastness of clouds hid from thy sight


s: That yet shall gild with beautiful gold gleams,


s: And shoot the shadows through and through with light?


s: What matters one lost vision of the night?


s: Let the hope set. Are there not other hopes


s: That yet shall rise like new stars in thy sky?


s: Not long a soul in sullen darkness gropes


s: Before some light is lent it from on high;


s: Let the joy fade. Are there not other joys,


s: Like frost-bound bulbs, that yet shall start and bloom?


s: The hardy roots locked in their silent tomb.


s: What cares the earth for her brief time of gloom?


s: Let the love die. Are there not other loves


s: Flying through space like snowy-pinioned doves?


s: They yet shall come and nestle in thy breast,


s: And thou shalt say of each, "Lo, this is best!"


s: With panting breath and a startled scream;


s: But straight by the light of its great white eye


s: It speeds through the shadows, dense and black.


s: Where burn and smoulder the hidden fires,


s: It hates, as a wild horse hates the rein,


s: And shrieks with a cry of startled pain,


s: With muscle and flesh, by the hand of God,


s: Speeding on through the dense, dark night,


s: From the dawn of spring till the year grows hoary,


s: The leaves are telling the same old story--


s: And ever and always the wild bird's chorus


s: And the smile o' the sun knows but these changes--


s: As Spring time softens or Winter estranges


s: From our great sire's birth to the last morn's breaking


s: There were tempest, sunshine, fruit and frost,


s: And the sea was calm or the sea was shaking


s: And ever this cry the heart was making--


s: And one worn song the fields are sighing,


s: And the tired thought of the world, replying


s: Thank God for dreams! I, desolate and lone,


s: In the dark curtained night, did seem to be


s: The centre where all golden sun-rays shone,


s: And, sitting there, held converse sweet with thee.


s: No shadow lurked between us; all was bright


s: Of olden days soft beaming from thine eye.


s: I thought the birds all listened; for thy voice


s: Pulsed through the air, like beat of silver wings.


s: And thrilled along my heart's tear-rusted strings.


s: Tells her bright beads, and counts them o'er and o'er,


s: Thy golden words I gathered, one by one,


s: And slipped them into memory's precious store.


s: Hand pressed in hand, and heart to heart we sat.


s: Why even now I am surcharged with bliss--


s: With joy supreme, if I but think of that.


s: Crept in to mar our sweet serene content.


s: In that blest vision, nothing could estrange


s: Our wedded souls, in perfect union blent.


s: Thank God for dreams! when nothing else is left.


s: When the sick soul, all tortured with its pain,


s: Finds waiting hopeless and all watching vain,


s: When empty arms grow rigid with their ache,


s: When eyes are blinded with sad tides of tears,


s: When stricken hearts do suffer, yet not break,


s: For loss of those who come not with the years--


s: Last night I saw Helena. She whose praise


s: Of late all men have sounded. She for whom


s: Rather than live without her all his days.


s: She is so ripe with dangers. Yet meanwhile


s: Although I make her theme of this poor song.


s: "Her golden tresses?" yes, they may be fair,


s: Seems robbed of beauty and all lusterless--


s: Too many hands have stroked Helena's hair.


s: She will not let her one true lover's hands


s: In playful fondness touch her soft brown bands,


s: "Her great dark eyes that flash like gems at night?


s: Large, long-lashed eyes and lustrous?" that may be,


s: Too many hearts have sunned in their delight.


s: So underneath white curtains, and so veiled


s: That I have sometimes plead for hours, and failed


s: "Her perfect mouth so like a carvèd kiss?"


s: "Her honeyed mouth, where hearts do, fly-like, drown?"


s: I would not taste its sweetness for a crown;


s: Too many lips have drank its nectared bliss.


s: (I know a mouth whose virgin dew, undried,


s: Lies like a young grape's bloom, untouched and sweet,


s: And though I plead in passion at her feet,


s: She would not let me brush it if I died.)


s: In vain, Helena! though wise men may vie


s: For thy rare smile or die from loss of it,


s: Armored by my sweet lady's trust, I sit,


s: And know thou art not worth her faintest sigh.


s: That lie in the silent cemetery of time;


s: Their wisdom may have shamed our wisest sages,


s: Their glory may have been indeed sublime.


s: How weak do seem our strivings after power,


s: How poor the grandest efforts of our brains,


s: Even the mighty mountains leave their places,


s: And sink their haughty heads beneath strange seas;


s: The great earth writhes in some convulsive spasm


s: And turns the proudest cities into plains.


s: The sad seas cease complaining and grow dry;


s: Rivers are drained and altered in their courses,


s: Great stars pass out and vanish from the sky.


s: Our rarest pleasures and our keenest pains


s: Are swept away with all we hate or cherish--


s: Nothing remains but the Eternal Nameless


s: It yet must bring forth angels, after men--


s: Lean down and lift me higher, Josephine!


s: From the Eternal Hills hast thou not seen


s: How I do strive for heights? but lacking wings,


s: I cannot grasp at once those better things


s: For youth and hope and health all keep me glad;


s: But too bright sunlight, sometimes, makes us blind,


s: And I do grope for heights I cannot find.


s: Oh, thou must know my one supreme desire--


s: Thou knowest how, from day to fleeting day


s: Our souls were vexed with trifles, and our feet,


s: Were lured aside to by-paths which seemed sweet,


s: Thou hast gone onward to the heights serene,


s: And left me here, my loved one, Josephine;


s: For life is full of promise; but, my friend,


s: Canst thou not help me in my best desire


s: Frail as thou wert, thou hast grown strong and wise,


s: With all a full soul's needs. It must be so,


s: Thy year with God hath made thee great I know.


s: Thou must see how I struggle and aspire--


s: Oh, warm me with a breath of heavenly fire,


s: We were sick of the world, and we put it away,


s: Our host, the Sun, in the blue, blue sky


s: In the burnished gold of his cup on high,


s: It helps us to love, and helps us to think,


s: And brings me so much that is bright and dear


s: But when I grow weary of mirth and glee,


s: And we walk together as two friends may,


s: Now, while thy rounded cheek is fresh and fair,


s: While beauty lingers, laughing, in thine eyes,


s: Ere thy young heart shall meet the stranger, "Care,"


s: Or thy blithe soul become the home of sighs,


s: Were it not kindness should I give thee rest


s: By plunging this sharp dagger in thy breast?


s: Dying so young, with all thy wealth of youth,


s: What part of life wouldst thou not claim, in sooth?


s: Now, in this sacred hour of supreme trust,


s: Ere change can come, as come it surely must,


s: With jarring doubts and discords, to destroy


s: Our far too perfect peace, I pray thee, Sweet,


s: Were it not best for both of us, and meet,


s: If I should bring swift death to seal our bliss?


s: Dying so full of joy, what could we miss?


s: How slight the action! Just one well-aimed blow


s: Here where I feel thy warm heart's pulsing beat,


s: Our perfect union would be made complete:


s: So past all parting, I should claim thee mine.


s: Dead with our youth, and faith, and love divine,


s: Should we not keep the best of life that way?


s: What shall we gain by living day on day?


s: All little aims slip from me, and I reach


s: As when a mighty forest, whose green leaves


s: Have shut it in, and made it seem a bower


s: For lovers' secrets, or for children's sports,


s: Casts all its clustering foliage to the winds,


s: So now with life that reaches out before,


s: I see the stars above me, world on world:


s: I feel the distant surging of great seas,


s: Like the harnessed wheel of a great machine,


s: Where Thought must follow the fashion of Thought,


s: Where Thought is rocked, on the sweet wind's breath,


s: Where mind is King, and fashion is naught:


s: There shall the New World look for thought.


s: For out of its broad and boundless store


s: For out of the West shall the Poets come.


s: They shall come with brows that are touched with fire,